I need help figuring this one out - I think time is the answer?

[chailli]

All right here we go.

My girlfriend and I broke up a couple days ago. For the past couple of days when ever we have talked I have been the first one to start the
conversation. But today, she made the first move. Each day I have had made the mistake of asking for a cup of coffee or a walk for we could
talk about whats going on. But she keeps saying no, and telling me she needs her space. We both agree that we want to stay friends, but i still
love her and i want her back. Should I give her sometime to herself and let her think everything over and stop pressuring her into seeing me, I think
I do. I shouldn't have said that today. Do you think time will be the best answer, all I want is her back.

[Cerby]

You broke up a couple of days ago and you're already asking her out for coffee and walks? Leave her alone for a week or two, let her miss you. Sounds like you might have broken up BECAUSE you aren't giving her any space.

[chailli]

Do you think 10 days would be enough time?

[chailli]

UPDATE: Our friend went to coffee with her last night, and they started to talk about us. She said that right now she wants her space, and she's going into her first year of college so he wants to focus on meeting new people, and have a break from the relationship because she would be spending all her time with me and not
not focusing on school. She just wants her space and time away from me at the time being for she can do all that.

What do you think?

[UdoKier]

You are one of literally thousands of significant others being told the same thing by college bound kids right at this very moment. Let her go, if she wants you she will let you know, but you should already start looking to get laid, go out on dates or start forming a relationship with another girl you already know. Do not make initial contact with her, not mention anything about the status of relationship. The overwhelming odds are, she has already put you in her rear view mirror.


Hopefully this will sink in, but I kind of doubt it.

[chailli]

she said she would give me another chance after she sets her foundations at school though

[UdoKier]

Not to sound cynical but it sounds like she told you that because she doesn't she doesn't want a messy break up right now, either because she cares for you a lot or she is simply too spineless to deal with conflict.

[chailli]

she didn't tell me that, she told my friend that which she went out for coffee with

[Cerby]

she said she would give me another chance after she sets her foundations at school though

Don't bet on this, playing the waiting game is foolish. If she isn't with you, then you're single. What may come down the road isn't important right now, getting over her is.

[chailli]

when I talked to her a couple days ago she said that she will always have a big hole in her heart for me, and I asked her of she has found anyone else or been talking to anyone else and she had said absolutely 100 percent not.

[UdoKier]

she didn't tell me that, she told my friend that which she went out for coffee with

Look, its really simple. You know how many people gave gotten back together with someone who has asked for space, by the rejected person actively doing something....anything? A very small %. Of the relationships were the person who put the brakes on, actually came back to the rejected person, the overwhelming reason was, that they were left alone(NO INITIATED CONTACT) and the heart grew fonder for that person. You are probably thinking if you don't keep in touch with her every so often, she will grow apart and forget about you. You need to get out of that mindset

Editon't inquire about your relationship status 1 day, 10 days or even 100 days from now unless she brings it up

[chailli]

I know that is what I am trying to do, but it's hard after talking to her every single day. Do you think it's a good idea to send her a card on her first day of school telling her I hope everything went well and you're always on my heart?

[chailli]

and the reason I called her for those two nights is because I wanted to clear things up and apologize for every wrong that I did, and tell her how much she meant to me. I could not talk to her for a while and know that we ended it on a bad note.

[UdoKier]

Too early and again with the need to affirm your feelings for her. She already knows how you feel about her, you actually have a better chance if she second-guesses how you feel about her. If you must....send a card a couple if weeks from now, ask about school and tell her about anything significant that has happened while she was gone. Mention nothing about your relationship or your feelings.

[chailli]

that's a good idea, so wait off on the card? I was thinking not the week that's coming up, but the week after?