Feeling Suffocated

[Sweetface883]

Hi All! I've been living and married to a not so expressive, serious and quiet type 35yr old man who has a spoiled, undisciplined and lazy when it comes to studies 10 yr old son from previous marriage. His moody, bisexual and hard to please brother also lives with us in the house. My husband has a big family, and his brother and a friend of his is our neighbor too. So you can just imagine how these things would also be a priority to my husband. He can't say no to them, like the brother living with us for more than a year now, the people who asks him to have a drinking session which would take up to 5am in the a.m the most 2 times every weekend. I don't know where to stand and to think that I'm 5 months pregnant to our 1st baby who is being left in the house most of the time while my husband goes drink out with the brothers or go take his son some place so the son could have fun. The husband would want me to come but me being pregnant makes it uncomfortable for me to go out lately so I'd Jrather stay home.

Is this normal to be left alone and for the husband to prioritize them? I really hate my situation. Am I just being needy? I love my inlaws but sometimes it is too much of being together already. The fact that I embraced the fact that he has a son plus the big family is really getting in the way of my happiness being in this relationship.

Should I start filing for a divorce?

[Boisdevie]

1. Tell him that unless things change then the relationship is over.
2. Next time try not to get pregnant to such a dickhead. Perhaps learn about contraception?

[cheekxs]

ahahahahha divorce? so its really getting to much then.

But did you not know all of this or think and talk about it way before marry him?

Cause if you did not it was stupid of you.

this is why i dont want noting o do with people that have kids.
Its always some drama with them.

And when you married 2 have to make the decisions.
So he supposed to make decisions with you.

So maybe you need to sit and talk to him and have a serious talk.
About cleaning the house and you want some space and rest in your house.

And being pregnant i dont think its okay to have his brother, and older son in the house.
To much people and you need to have less people so noting can happen to your kid
and you can have rest.

If he is like the family have to be everywhere, then he need to marry them and leave you alone.

And dont the family it self never think like im to much at their house. dammit.

Dont they have jobs and kids to take care of.

You need to talk to your husband and take care of everything that stands in your way.
and him drinking is also a problem.
drunk people can do a lot of harm and act like they dont know about it later on.

But i guess this is noting new for you. you most have know how he is and his family and had the choice not to marry or even date this person.

So if you choose for him still. u need to resolve the issues with good communication and action.

[Wakeup]

You're only five months pregnant and you find that you are too uncomfortable to go out with your husband and his son to have a little fun with them? Really? Just how long did you date him befre you got married and pregnant? Surely you waited and dated long enough to know what kind of man he was. No?

[Sweetface883]

I got pregnant after 3 years of our relationship. Almost hitting the age 30 and being pregnant/having my first baby is never a problem to me, so contraception is never an option since babies are God's gift. Uncomfortable to go out since i can't be too tired or stay up late waiting for their drinking session to finish is unhealthy for a pregnant mom
like me. My husband is such a pleaser to other people as I could see like right now he didn't want to cancel his watching the car race with the uncle even if he didn't feel like going anymore (he's scared that his uncle might get mad at him
if he flakes). I never saw this coming not until we moved together in one house, didn't know that after getting married, his family and the son would be such of a problem.

[smackie9]

Pack your shit up and move out. Until he cleans up his act, gets his son into counseling and kicks his brother out, you are not coming home. That is no environment to raise a child. I need to comment...if it's this bad you should never have gotten pregnant God's gift or not. You are an idiot to put a child into this predicament....it's damn selfish.

[Wakeup]

God didn't give you a gift so that you could bring the little darl'n up in an abusive invironment. God also gave you the gift of choice so choose wisely for your future child and yourself.

[smackie9]

I never saw this coming not until we moved together in one house, didn't know that after getting married, his family and the son would be such of a problem.

This is the reason why people need to live together before they decide marriage....this validates it.

[Wakeup]

How do you figure, Smackie? She lived with him for three years and learned what an asshat he is yet she still allowed herself to become pregnant with him. Living together proves nothing to people who refuse to actually see what they are in. OP, whether married or not would still be in this exact same predicament. She could have left him before she got pregnant but she did not.

[smackie9]

From what I had read, "I never saw this coming not until we moved together in one house." I assumed they were not living together until they married, and she sounds religious......which makes it even worse.....blinded by faith.

[smackie9]

Anyways, stupid is, as stupid does.

[Ely North]

I would threaten to abort your baby if things don't change. (Don't actually do it - just threaten it.) If he says "Go ahead" or doesn't seem to care, get out now and raise that baby by yourself.

[lylufy]

I see your man is really emotionless, is it?
Basically, living in big family is so complicated, especialy for a pregnant.
Why he can put you in that predicament ?
You he can not deny this life with his big family, so you also must protect you from hard and inconvenience situation of his family.
But as you said, he could not do it. So, he is irresponsible to you and your child !
Talk to him seriously about your thought your suffocated feeling and your decision if he do not change this situations !