I like a woman who is in a relationship with someone else...

[eclecticsoul1]

Okay, so I have recently re-established a friendship with someone that I have known for quite a long time. She has known me since I was about 7 or 8 years of age. We have become fairly close since the summer began, and I have ultimately
developed feelings for her. She is in a relationship with someone, whom she has two children with. The father of her
children happens to be a bit of a deadbeat, although he does provide what he can. She has voiced her
displeasure with the relationship on several occasions. Given my own self interest I try not to offer too much advice
because I feel that would be selfish.

As I mentioned earlier I have known her practically my entire life and I know she is amazing and can do much better then him. It just seems to baffle me how life pans out. I am not the type of person to break up an unhappy home but I really do care about her and would love to tell her how I feel but I know it would probably be pointless. I feel like I can offer her
more then he ever could. I see this woman with so much potential who is with a guy that possesses none. I have attempted to distance myself from her so that I won't get hurt. I even flaked on a trip that we planned for the end of the summer.
Am I doing the right thing?

[cheekxs]

if it was your gf you would be mad if someone else think or act this way.

So why when its about somebody's else gf, you think that your feelings and ideas are important?

stf off. respect others i you want them to respect you.

you dont know what the other guy is offering her to say you can do it better.
She is a stupid woman. Cause she supposed to ask advice to other people
and not to you.
And talk about the problems with her partner and not with you.
And you never cant offer something better for the kids, then their real dad.
You would not be able to be better then the dad, cause you are a stranger to the kids and you are focus on the mom, so
te kids will be a annoying thing for you.
And why would you stand in the way of a family and try to break them up, so the kids also can suffer so
you can be the center of attention? Dont you have morals?
and at the end you can end up being the worse she have ever had also so stop bashing the other guy
cause of your lust.

Every relationship have ups and downs, that's reality. if she handle hers this way im shore she is
not a good partner and not mature.
AND you are a bastard, you use the things she told you about her relationship ,so you can use it as one more excuse to get with her.
You are her worst enemy.

there are enough singles, get your ass over there!

[cheekxs]

If you are a good person you will tell her straight up that you dont want to know about her problems
with her partner, cause you think its something between them.

and take a couple of steps back!

[eclecticsoul1]

You can't read and obviously can't write, so I think that qualifies you to shut the hell up. Stop offering advice to others. I am all for
criticism when it is necessary but don't go around making implications about what I am saying if I haven't said it.

[eclecticsoul1]

Lmao!!! Even your swear words are misspelled. Okay so how old are you? You seem pretty juvenile to me. Perhaps thats the reason why
you can't read or write. Not one ounce of what you said was accurate or held any validity. Like I said previously, stop making implications about what others are saying if they have not said it themselves. *expletive* use your imagination.

[Wakeup]

Actually, if you ignore the spelling errors and the foul language from the above poster, the message is quite clear:

I suggest you re-read what she was, in her own pathos, trying to convey to you. You have absolutely no right to intrude in on this woman's committed relationship. It's absolutely none of your business and it means sweet buggar all that YOU think that you would be able to provide for her better than the man she chose to be her life partner and the father of her children.

She chose him, get it? You are pretentious and arrogant to question her choice. She is off limits to you no matter how long you've known her so back away and distance yourself so that you can be open hearted enough to be able to see the beauty in woman that are actually available to be pursued and you're not stagnating your romantic self on the pursuit of someone who is not available to be pursued.

You certainly wouldn't like it if she was currently your partner and some little snipe was honing in on her emotional vulnerability and thinking that he was a better match for her than you are.

My suggestion that would be in both yours and this woman's best interests: Slowly do the fade to the point of zero contact and get on with your life instead of this improbable fantasy you are clinging to.

[cheekxs]

you are a bitch you are not a men.

bitch boy!!! ahahahhaahhahahahah, sad tho.

thats why you cant read and understand.

truth hurt, bitch suck it! be a men for once!

[cheekxs]

if you cant stand the truth dont ask for it.

pussy!

[IndiReloaded]

Angry posts, lol.

Yes, you are doing the right thing by distancing yourself. Although you knew each other when young, it doesn't sound like you were close friends with her over the years or anything, so any advice or support you might give her would be misconstrued. Even if you were her friend, it could still be misconstrued.

You need to ride this out and hold your peace. If you care, let her know, but also let her know she needs to sort her life out. Whether that is with him or you, only she can decide and its a decision she needs to make alone. Good luck.

[eclecticsoul1]

Wakeup, you make a few valid points but I have to say I am not clinging to a fantasy. Although, I do care for her I know she is not the
one for me, hence my attempts at distance. I don't believe I am pretentious or arrogant because she herself has stated that if it were not for the children they would not be together. She is well aware that she can and should do better then him. If she chooses not to than
that is a choice she will have to live with. But am I wrong for taking her own personal feelings and running with them? But nevertheless I do my best not to involve myself in their personal affairs; I am only a spectator. As I mentioned previously it would be selfish of me to
offer advice knowing that I like her as much as I do. I would NEVER prey on anyones vulnerability. I accept her decision to stay with him for the children and would do nothing to interfere.

[eclecticsoul1]

Cheekxs grow up. Its apparent that you just want the last word. I did ask for advice, not nonsense. The truth does hurt, but not yours.
Lmao!!! And I can read, you just can't write.

[cheekxs]

be a men. if you are a male just be a men. that is first thing you need to do. about your childish ,nasty behavior we will talk later.

and you have to much free time to sit and answer me every time i insult you. you have low self esteem also. hahahhahahahahahaahahaha lol/
and im not you! and i always have the last word so you are the one that wants to fighting so bad to have it. go read some books about respect and relationships.
instead of hanging on the internet talking bullshit. How old are you? dammm

old mtf

[cheekxs]

No i cant write, but you keep answer my reply. how retarded are you! DUDE you only show how retarded you are.

hahahahahha if some one cant write you cant read what they right also. you are focked up also in your brain also, just like your morals.

and why did you post this crap? to get in touch with other girls that have a relationship? so youcan get in middle of that 2?

dude you are focked up right now. there is notting more for you to say! loserrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[Wakeup]

Wakeup, you make a few valid points but I have to say I am not clinging to a fantasy. Although, I do care for her I know she is not the
one for me, hence my attempts at distance. I don't believe I am pretentious or arrogant because she herself has stated that if it were not for the children they would not be together. She is well aware that she can and should do better then him. If she chooses not to than
that is a choice she will have to live with. But am I wrong for taking her own personal feelings and running with them? But nevertheless I do my best not to involve myself in their personal affairs; I am only a spectator. As I mentioned previously it would be selfish of me to
offer advice knowing that I like her as much as I do. I would NEVER prey on anyones vulnerability. I accept her decision to stay with him for the children and would do nothing to interfere.

Am I doing the right thing?

If you are distancing yourself both emotionally and mentally and allowing her to figure out on her own whether to continue on with the father of her children or, leave him for a more happy and fulfilling life without him, then I'd say "yes" you are doing the right thing in that regard.

However: if you are clinging to the hope of being with her and pining away emotionally for her while trying to remain neutral while continuing in your interactions and emotional affair, then "no" you are definately NOT doing the right thing for either of you.

Good luck, waste no more emotions on someone who is not available to you.

[eclecticsoul1]

First of all Cheeksx it is Sunday, so, I can do this all day. Second of all, you keep failing to overlook a minor detail, just like your spelling
and grammar, I am a WOMAN. So, I'd appreciate it if you would stop referring to me as a lesser male, or dude. Third, this is a forum,
which means it was designed for dialogue, so don't flatter yourself. You are NOT that important.