Sod it - going to see my ex!

[jcowap]

Hello everyone!

ok ive decided to go see my ex. She works in a hairdressers that also has tanning beds. Im going to go on friday looking my best and use a tanning bed!

Its just something i really want to do!

We split early july and i went N/C for 3/4 weeks and the last 2 weeks we have been texting ever few days. The texts have been really silly funny random bantering texts and also asking how we are etc! No mention of the break-up or amy "miss you" kind of of things! So its been going well.

I was going to continue texting her and eventually ask her out which i probably will do, i just really want to turn up and say hi, make a real effort with the way i look (not blowing my trumpet but im a very confident and decent looking guy ha) i know she really fancied me and i kinda feel it could ignite something.

I do want to give it a shot because it wasnt a bad break up, we didnt argue or fight. Just something happened and i feel we shouldnt of broken up over it.

Im not going to turn up all cocky, just say hi, use the sunbed, ask how she is and leave and then try continue texting.

Thoughts?

[Boisdevie]

Just something happened and i feel we shouldnt of broken up over it.
Thoughts?

Depends on why you broke up and who did the breaking up. But normally if a relationsip is going well then you don't break up. And if you break up for a silly reason then this kind of implies that somebody has pretty stupid judgement.

[jcowap]

It was a mutual decision. something pretty big happened. No cheating or arguing or anything ever happened whilst we was together, not even at the time of the split. Because of the big thing, she went distant and eventually we split. I just think now her head will be clear/clearer and this is why i think its worth another shot. nobody did anything wrong.

I just think turn up, say hi, nip on the sunbed and leave will do no harm at all. Even joke about getting maets rates discount lol

[jcowap]

Ok so i randomly turned up at my exs work today after going n/c for 3 weeks and then spending the 2 and a half weeks texting every few days having banter and a laugh.

I bought some party invites and on the front was pictres of balloons and it said "your invited"!
On the inside it said when: so i wrote whenever amd it said where: so i put a few good places.

I saw her (was so nervous) gave her the invite amd said it was for her, she took it amd walked off with it into a back room! I waited like 20 seconds and she didnt come back so i left haha! I think she was in shock!

Oh well ... See what happens now! Dream scenario she will text me , it will go well and we'll go out

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Sounds retarded, but it might work. I doubt it, but if she is REALLY interested this could work. You need to start moving on and seeing other girls now, instead staring at your phone waiting for her to contact you.

[jcowap]

Hows it retarded? I asked her out by using party invite. We was always a daft random couple so could never do it a normal way! Im not focusing my attention on her and staring at my phone at all. Why would you assume such things?!
Ive actually been casually dating another girl who has a lot of my attention!
I would actually feel like an idiot for not giving it another shot! We both got on immensly well, liked each other a lot, just something big happened that messed her head up. Had that not happened, im pretty sure we would still be together!

Anyway doesnt seem too retarded seeing as she has just text laughing...

[Cerby]

I like the originality of the card thing, I personally would have just had flowers delivered, cliché but effective.

Good work OP. Next goal is to sleep with both of them in the same day...or even at the same time

[jcowap]

HaHa she hates flowers or that woud be/would of been an option aswell! But i wanted to turn up looking my best and see her and im glad i did!

Just hoping she does R.S.V.P!

[TheCafeTerrace]

That's gloriously cheesy - I love it! Let us know if she texts you or whatever, I want to know how this turns out.

[jcowap]

That's gloriously cheesy - I love it! Let us know if she texts you or whatever, I want to know how this turns out.

Ok so she text me about 7pm laughing! I text her back with a silly response and them got nothing back. I text her again hours later sayimg she better r.s.v.p to my invite and she needs to come out and show her face! She replied laughing saying im daft. I thought sod it - im just going to ask her properly and asked her to come out next week. I said it will be as friend, nonrelationship or splitting up serious talk. We will just have a laugh amd joked saying kidnapping her can be arranged if needed (we was always a mega jokey couple and a serious text just isnt us) anyway still no response. Soo she's giving me anything when being asked out at the moment! Maybe she will text back tomorrow? Who knows!
What do i do? Continue to text her every 3/4 days like i have been doing keeping it light and jokey?
Suppose i cant keep asking her. Ill have go take her non response as a no. Suppose if i do keep texting her i could maybe ask her again in the future, maybe affer 2 and a half weeks i rushed asking her!
I certainly cant turn up at her work again lol
I just thought seeing her might spark something! It was so good go see her - she truly is beautiful! And id love go take her out next week and have a laugh just like it used to be!
Oh well ... Ill probably stick to the texting now and then and see what happens. Shes not having my full attemtion anyways and im already dating another girl casually. Life isnt fair is it we was such a good perfect couple!

[TheCafeTerrace]

Life isnt fair is it

Nope, thank God, otherwise I'd currently be face down in some gutter somewhere choking on my own vomit.

I think you should leave her alone now - she'll text you if she wants to meet up again, but there's a chance she might genuinely be trying to move on emotionally and you're tormenting her with constant reminders that you both used to be a good couple. Know what I mean?

May I ask why you broke up in the first place?

[jcowap]

Ill not leave her alone. Shes been texting back of her own accord and been texting back because ive been making her laugh and we have been getting on. Ill not hound her, just keep up with what i was doing prior to today. I do kinda know what you mean bit if that was me and i felt tormented, i just wouldnt responde and if she stopped responding, i would leave her.

We met on a dating site. I didn enough for her to want to come out with me. We got on so so well and after 2 months of dating we started seeing each other. It was honestly the best start to a relationship ive ever had - we got on so well! I lnow she really liked me too! She paid �160 for us to stop in a posh hotel!

Then boom! 10 days or so after us being official, she found out she eas pregnant. It was her choice to get an abortion and i supported her however i did make sure she knew i was open to keeping it and told her how we would cope.
Anyways she had an abortion and the day she had it she claimed she was fine mentally and physically. This was also the day she went really distant with me and 10 days later we split.

I tried my upmost to be there for her! However she pushed me away! She didnt even let me know the date she was booked in for the abortion as she didnt want me there!
I know she wanted us to worm as 2 weeks before the abortion, she text saying she was worried we wont be the same again after the abortion, i assured her we would be however i feel she didnt give us a chance to be the same as she went distant.

I really do understand the process of abortion and how bad it is! I guess our relationship wasnt strong enough. Ive also felt she thought it was all happening too fast. She was pregnant with a lad shenwas seeing for a month (she expressed how bad it looked)

We kinda ended on bad terms as i went n/c for a week and then she text me drunk saying she wanted to see me and she missed me and she hadnt had the abortion. This messed my head as u can imagine! The next day she backtracked, denied she was still pregnant, admitted it was sick and said sorry. I demanded to see her and drove to hers as i said i cant just believe her like that! Drove to hers, believed her and then thats when we went n/c for 3 weeks.

Then we are where we are at now!

This is why i feel its maybe worth another shot. We was a perfect couple! Got on amazingly well and nobody did anything wrong and there was no arguements, i feel her head will be clearer now and its been goog texting just having a laugh

[Cerby]

we was such a good perfect couple!

Wait wait wait, so you were together for 2.5 months, official for 20 days, had a pregnancy problem with someone elses baby who she was with for a month, some n/c, crying, and ended on bad terms...and this is how you envision a "good perfect couple"?

kudos for trying, but this one might not even be WORTH saving.

[MaidenMinx]

You didn't leave it long enough.

Abortions can screw with womens heads for years. I know, I've had one. The ex and I didn't end up lasting. There were another 2 years together after the abortion, though that was because I felt obligated to stay for many reasons. We fought like cats and dogs. It was horrible. He didn't want me to abort, I refused to have a child before 21. I was 19 and insisted that I would be the first woman for many generations on my mothers side, to make it to my 20's before having a child. He was so wonderful and caring while I was pregnant (that was an insanely horrible 10 weeks for me physically), and then as soon as I had the abortion he changed, and so did I. I didn't know how much it would hurt, how empty I would feel. It wasn't until I read Still Life with Woodpecker (Tom Robbins) that I found the words to explain how I felt.

"...They can scrape my heart, they can scrape my brain before they'll scrape my uterus again. It's been over a year since my last D and C (abortion) and I still feel raw in there. It feels bitter when it should feel sweet, it feels ragged where it should feel smooth, it feels deep purple when it should feel pink. (now the following is the bit that made me cry for an 1/2 an hour when I read it) Death has thrown a stag party in the most sacred room in my body. From now on, that space belongs to life" - Princess Leigh-Cheri

Abortions are so painful. Even talking about this now, with my nearly 8 year old son in the next room - whom I had when I was 24 - I still feel the pain of that termination over a decade a go. It's something that I had to do (my ex was well and truly screwed up and I knew I didn't want to have a child with him at that point in time) and I thought I was fully prepared mentally and emotionally but I wasn't. I think your ex might be in just as much pain, and seeing you possibly bought some of it to the surface.

[jcowap]

Wait wait wait, so you were together for 2.5 months, official for 20 days, had a pregnancy problem with someone elses baby who she was with for a month, some n/c, crying, and ended on bad terms...and this is how you envision a "good perfect couple"?

kudos for trying, but this one might not even be WORTH saving.

Seriously, what are you talking about?!?

We dated for 2 months. During that time we was sleeping together!
After the 2 months we was offically seeing each other for a month and 2 weeks then we split.

You need to read my post properly.

She was pregnant with my child.
We wasnt together for 2.5 months like you stated and we was official for a month and 2 weeks and not 20 days like you stated. Where did you get all that information from??
When did i say there was crying? I never did!
We ended on bad terms because she lied drunkenly saying she was still carrying my child.
Please read my post again.