Hello
This is my first post so I'll give some background.
I've never been in any long term relationship. I'm 25, almost 26. I'm described as a very caring person, I never put myself first regarding anything in my life.
Now to my problem, I signed up for an online dating site. Went on dates, and by the sixth girl found this amazing girl. She was funny, easy to talk to had a cute accent (she is Polish and lived in Sweden for 5 Years). We basically sent each other text at the same time, etc.
By the third date we were at her place, and we decided we were not after a quick hookup so we decided not to have sex until we both were ready. a week later she went home to see her parents in Poland. She was gone for 3 weeks. During this time we kept in contact every single day, through text, calls and Skype. Everything was great, after 1 week, she asked me if I wanted to dance with her on her best friends weeding. I answered yes after some consideration. I at this stage thought that was in Sweden, BUT it was in Poland, in 1� month, and her parents would attend as godmother/father and We would stay with them for the duration of the trip (5days). At this stage I got a little freaked out, but I've said yes so I couldn't back down.
She came home to Sweden last Tuesday (1� week ago). I picked her up at the airport as I have a car and she had a heavy bag. Well one thing led to another, We started getting undressed, I asked her "Are you sure you want to do this?" , She nodded and we continued. When the night was over, I went home as I was going up early and she still had vacation. We decided to met at my place the next evening for a meal and some wine. Also this night ended on my couch and She complimented me for the way I pleased her etc. This was the point I realized hey I'm not scared of that trip anymore. We decided to meet again, Sunday as we both would be busy with my football training and her meeting some old friends.
Now this is where the problem started. She has an Ex (together 4 years, lived together 3,5 broke up 9 months ago, reason for breakup was that he is unable to take any sort of responsibility). They had a cat together, last Friday (8 days ago) the cat got worms in the stomach, and he would not give the cat any medicine, she went to his place to give the cat the medicine. I had no problem with that as I'm not at all jealous.
So Sunday comes, we meet and I directly notices something is wrong, she gives me a light kiss on the lips, before we have made out when we saw each other. She didn't seem to want to hold hands. We started walking and talking, she then says "I need to talk to you about something". I said alright what is it? She says that when she met her ex Friday, she realized she still has feeling for him and love him, despite not wanting to ever really see him again and that she is really confused. At this point I embraced her and she started crying, We sat down, and she said she doesn't know what she wants and so on (she really was not making much sense). After 15 minutes, she said she needs to go home and continue studying (she has an important exam this Wednesday). I asked her if I could follow her home and make sure she was safe (she almost fainted while we talked).
I left her alone monday and tuesday. Wednesday night we talked through text and I said I've been thinking and that I want us to try and work this out and that I want to continue our relationship, and that I'm there for her. To this she replied that she feels disgusted with herself and that she never planned for this and feels really bad about what happened. I thought this was a strange text, so I called her up. She was crying on the phone and said she has feelings for him, but never want to ever see him again as he cannot take responsibility for anything. After 10 minutes She said that she wanted more time to think things through. I said If she feels that is what she needs, she can have it.
Now my question is What should I do, was that her way of saying that I'm breaking up with you, I feel like I have no closure in that case and that I have no idea where I went wrong, I'm really confused here and have this strange feeling something else is in the water like he has some kind of hook on her like borrowed money or something.
Do any of you guys and girls out there any advice what to do I like this girl so much I don't really know what to do or say.
Br/
Patrik