Me and my boyfriend just broke up. He actually made me say the words but things had been odd for a while and they were brushed aside by the fact he 'tired, grumpy...etc' what it seems to have come down to is we wanted different things. I find this weird because we did. I was made redundant this year but just before we were looking to buy a place etc. Talked about kids marriage. Shortly after I was let go he did a you turn on the kids. I accepted it. I mean, he's a contractor and I had no job and unless you get a place of your own kids in London is tricky. I honestly thought things would improve once I got a job again etc. I did, luckily 3 months ago and he's on a great contract but he just just got more distant. When we met up he just seemed to want to get wasted. We are both kinda party people but this was honestly destroying me. I did address it but he then pulled out of looking for a flat again. Then used my age and a kids thing as an excuse. Now it's just over and I'm a mess. We were really close. Friends for a good while before lovers. Talked about everything but it came out he's had doubts for 6 months. Before I was made redundant but thought he'd keep trying. Thing is I could tell his behaviour changed, love yous were less, I couldn't even touch him in the right way. He just withdrew. No one else spotted it as he was great in public most of the time and told me I was being paranoid. A few of our friends now and said he's just having a freak out about commitment. I know I'm being negative but I think he just fell out of love with me. He kept texting me the last 24 hours to sort out things but I found it difficult to respond. Also friends took me out and got be nice and drunk. I'm not a drunk texter. He has my tickets to go see my parent this week-end and now I feel able to speak to him and meet up briefly he won't respond. His late text was 2 hours ago so I know he's awake. Apart from this break up am annoyed I chose a job and flat to suit the relationship as he talked me into it. I really have to change loads of things now to get back in single land and I'm 35. All of my friends have moved out of London or settled down which is natural and so meeting up has become less. Because me and my boyfriend were original part of a big group of friends I feel I can't meet up with them so much either. I feel really lost.