I need a man's perspective please!

[Treasure]

Hi,

I need help with an issue and I think a male perspective would be great.
I've had an online relationship with someone for 6 months. He lives in a different country but we knew eachother before he left.
We've been chatting online for around 7 months and have strong feelings for eachother. We made plans quite early on to meet up and go away for a week when he came home for a few weeks. He has told me he loves me when we talk online or on Skype. At first, he said he didn't want to say 'I love you' online, but wanted to wait until we went away on our little holiday. He then said that he couldn't hold it in any longer and he called me and told me he was in love with me...
Whilst chatting online, everything has been great and we were so excited about meeting up and having our holiday together. Our feelings (or at least mine) just got stronger and stronger.
We had our holiday this week and we had such a great time. We did a lot of fun things and had a great laugh and we got on great.
My problem is that whilst we were there, although he had said online that he wanted to tell me he loves me to my face, he didn't say it. He also didn't say any of the really lovely things he usually says online.
This has left me really confused as to how he feels about me. He is still in the country but catching up with friends. Since he went to see his friends, he hasn't been in touch, whereas he was always texting me or calling me before.
I kind of feel like now we have met up, he might be changing his mind about how he feels.
Please can someone help me shed some light on this as I'm too caught up in it to think logically about it!

[haxan]

Maybe for him, the reality of the time together wasn't as exciting or eventful as the buildup.

[Treasure]

Maybe for him, the reality of the time together wasn't as exciting or eventful as the buildup.

That's what I thought, but whilst we were together he said a few times that he was having a great time and enjoying spending time together after waiting so long. He also keeps talking about plans we have in the future. I'm so confused!!

[smackie9]

Sometimes people will say stuff like that because it hides how they are actually feeling, and they know it's expected of them to say something. Your best bet is to confront him about it, just ask for the truth and be done with it.

[cheekxs]

you are sad to think or believe in virtual conversations.
you are naive and desperate.
and dont know what love is.

how can he tell you that if he barely knows you. love dont come in mouths and in
situations like that.

he can only tell you he LIKES you .
if he feels like that then.

and you dont force words out of people, when they see it like that they say it.
this is why people end up with creepy men and in bad situations.

get real, go into real life and have real relationship!

go find out what is love / how you can recognized. and when its just like, or in love
before you run around asking for crap.

[haxan]

That's what I thought, but whilst we were together he said a few times that he was having a great time and enjoying spending time together after waiting so long. He also keeps talking about plans we have in the future. I'm so confused!!

Well, like smackie said he's just letting you down nice -or- on the good side, maybe it wasn't the 4th of July like he thought, but there's still enough there to build a romance.

[Sunlight]

Hi Treasure,
I'm sorry to hear of your confusion, I'm sure it feels rough.

While your guy - friend is in this other country, is he a foreigner there? If so, I think he may feel very close to you because he misses his home and home people.

From what you have written, my best guess is that he does like you, but over months of being away from home his imagination and longing for home have made you into a symbol of home. He has gotten confused between how much he 'loves' home and how much he 'loves' you.

Also, I have learned through my own experience that the dynamics of spending time with a person can be much different than the dynamics of communicating over the phone or skype or email. There is just no other way to experience the rhythm two people have than to spend time physically together.

He probably liked you before he went away, and over the months imagined more of a connection with you. But once you were together in person again, it hadn't all blossomed in his heart the way it had in his imagination.

Just my best guess from what you have written, and really just a longer and gentler way to say what the other folks have said here.

Good luck. I'm sorry for your disappointment, but please learn from this experience as best you can.