I'm torn and serious advice would be much appreciated.

[carrie2]

I never post or seek for advice online, because I just try to make my own rational decision, but for the first time ever, I am clueless on what to do and I need real honest advice.

I met a guy online 5 months ago. Let's call him John. He lives in New Jersey, and I live in Kansas. John and I have talked everyday, or every other day since we first met. Although our main form of communication was via text messaging, it worked for us because we have this weird, quasi connection. Hard to describe, but since day one, we just clicked "virtually". We are both not big on the phone, so we have only had a handful of phone conversations since, but each time we did, phone conversations were great. I feel kind of silly for admitting this, but I find myself develop feelings for him, and vice versa. I mean, how could you not develop feelings when you're communicating all day and night? But then again, can you even have feelings for someone you've never met? Again, I feel silly.

Anyway, as John and I started to develop a closer relationship, we would talk about meeting. Due to both of our work schedules, timing, etc, it never happened. Now here's where it gets tricky. John is leaving the country to start a new life in Japan. He leaves in 5 days. Currently, he is in California visiting his sister before he heads off. He's asked me several times to meet him in CA before he leaves. I want to meet him so bad just so I can finally fill the curiosity, solidify my feelings, and see if our virtual chemistry translates into real life chemistry. However, all my guy friends are telling me that I should NOT fly to him, and that if he really wanted to see me, he would either fly to me, or fly me to him. He hasn't done either, other than offer a hundred dollars for my plane flight. When telling my friends about the "one hundred dollar" offer, they all said he was cheap and not taking me seriously. In John's defense, he said he just spent so much money with this move, which I understand because moving OUT of the country isn't an inexpensive move.

My heart is telling me to just to put all my doubts and fears aside, and to just meet the guy, but on the flip side, the logical part of me is stopping me. What if we meet and hit it off and then he leaves? Then what? But what if we meet and there are no fireworks, great, I don't have to wonder "what if." Ahhhh, I AM SO CONFUSED! Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much!

[pisces25]

I don't see the point of going. He is leaving for a new life in Japan. What's the point?

[heartonmysleeve]

I agree. If he can't at least pay for half of the plane flight, they he doesn't really want to see you. He found it easy to invest in this move to Japan, and if he values you he will also find it easy to invest in your relationship.

[johndemi]

I agree. If he can't at least pay for half of the plane flight, they he doesn't really want to see you. He found it easy to invest in this move to Japan, and if he values you he will also find it easy to invest in your relationship.

Exactly! So, what's the point of having that relationship if it'll never work out? Or should I say what's the use of staying with that kind of relationship in which you're just the only one trying to work it out? If I were you I'd better cut that relationship off!