Is it necessary to become friends first before...

[doll69]

you go on to date / have a relationship?

This is what I've noticed from the majority of cases, but what about those fleeting "I think you're hot/cute" (mutual feeling) encounters where there isn't much opportunity to interact enough to become friends (which I think requires continuous contact and building over a period of time)? Does anything ever come out of those? What does everyone think?

[bohemiandonut]

Hmmm...

Personally I've never "dated" (been sexual) with a girl I didn't consider myself "friends" with. I suppose it all has to do with what you consider being "friends" is.

I mean, aren't we all "friends?" If a girl is cute, and relatively nice, I would consider her my "friend" even if we hadn't, say, helped eachother move. Catch my drift?

Bottom line: Don't fight sexual attraction because you think you're not good enough "friends" yet. Fall into it, don't plan it out.

Peace. (< Real bottom line.)

[xplodinjohnno]

Well you many want to believe that this has to be the way to go, but be different and explore the possabilities that may arrise. I my self have just got into a r/s with a girl that i've only known for about 3 weeks. Yeah i know tell me about it, i get shyt for it all the time. But its totaly up to you how you want to lead your life, dont be a sheep (by that i mean follow every one) and just be yourself.

[doll69]

Hmm I'm not sure how I would approach someone in that situation though, any guides? Thnx

[K3vMySt3r]

guess this would be more of an opionated thing... to me actually if i have a friend i really feel kinda weird going out with em.. plus if they "SEE" u as a friend and nothing more its not going to work out but thats just my .02 cents

[Nice Lover Boy]

I have recently read a book from Ernest Hemingway(whom writes awesome touchy stories), and most if his books consist of friendship then dating. This is how I see, if you want to have a good, solid relationship, the best way to do it is become friends.In a friendship you learn how to deal with fustrations, economical situations, and jealousy. Once all these events, and more, combine, you both end up receiving a feeling from the pit of the heart and it motivates your heart to love your friend more then what could of been if you'd rush things. That is why many people divorce because they rush things without knowing eachother for a good long period of time. Even friends can date, but a friendly date, you feel me? This is my opinion, if you want something to last forever, this is the way to go. If you just want to "sleep" with your buddy, just know her and know where she has been, make sure if it's allright, do her, and never talk to her again.

[doll69]

I'm the girl here lol

[applecyder]

It seems to me that you get what you put in. You basically improve your odds of both of you feeling like being together is a good idea if you are friends first. If you just "fall in love" instantly, then great, but it's alot more likely you'll "fall out of love" just as unexpectedly.

Seems like the relationship will stand on the foundation really.

[yoshikuni]

To fall to infatuation, and to fall in love are two different sides of the battlefield. I hate war, but it's inevitable in love's case. If you become friend's you can possibly go straight to the love without going through infatuation like in many "fast" relationships. My 2 cents worth is just saying that if you become friends first, you develope a deep caring for each other's well-being, and that mutual effect can lead to more. Bonding as friends can let you learn a lot more about the person, and it also gives you the time to think over the whole "the rest of my life with this person" thing.

Good luck to all who face this problem, for there may never be a real answer to yet another one of life's great mysteries.

[doll69]

I also think that if you become friends first there is a danger that both of you become too "comfortable" with that state, and never moving on. Also, I always hear ppl say "I don't wana ruin the friendship" and as such (I dunno, maybe those are all just excuses?).

[Nice Lover Boy]

I know your the girl here, I read it on your screen name. Anyways, people do use that line, "I don't wanna ruin a good friendship" as an excuse to fool other friends or relatives in thinking that they will end up together. I said that many times, and at last I asked her out and she thought I was playing and ran away. Haven't spoken to her since, just sleeping with her friends as a sign of "I wasn't playing around". Ha-ha. But anyways, if two friends are attractive to eachother, adore the personalities and love the chemistry, ofcourse love takes place and friends fall in love. You just have to let time and moments pass by. Go out to movies, dinners, amusement parks, concerts, moments will fall in to place and memories will match you up. Trust me, when it all adds up, love conquers all.