Broken heart by Russian girl

[Jason224]

I really need some advice on this whole very painful ordeal I just went through. I hope someone will read all of this and give me a helpful perspective on what really happened.

I live in Chicago. Two years ago (July 2010) I met a Russian girl online who lived in Iceland with her Mom and brother. We connected immediately. It was not long before we were talking everyday. We would talk online, on the phone, on web cam, we mailed presents to each other, and exchanged tons of photos of each other. After a couple of months of talking everyday, we realized we had strong feelings for each other and as crazy as it sounds, started telling each other I love you. We grew very close very fast. I of course was at first captured by her beauty, but after we talked a few times my fondness of her grew much deeper than just her looks. We would talk for hours and hours and see was so loving and caring toward me. She asked to see photos of my family and I in turn saw photos of her family. We told each other our lifes story. We really were truly in love. She kept asking me to come to Iceland and see her, and I told her I would many times. We talked about things we would see and do together while I was there. But I was stupid, and never made plans to go. I always gave her some sort of excuse as to why i could not come now. At first she was ok with it, because she loved me sooo much she would say. I wanted to see her so much but never pulled the trigger and went. After about a year and a half of talking, I could tell she was getting fed up with me. Earlier this year her messages were getting very cold and there was a month span where we never messaged each other. Then, in February, I sent her a Valentines Day card and she replied to it saying thank you so much. I made the decision to come see her. I bought a ticket and was going to travel there at the end of March. But I wanted to see if she REALLY did still care for me. My birthday is February 24, so after the Valentines day message i did not message her at all, and she did not message me. I wanted to see if you would remember my birthday. February 24 came and went with no message at all from her. I was so hurt. I sent her a message stating how hurt I am and that I had bought a ticket to come see her but that I had now canceled it since i am obviously not important to her anymore. She replied back telling me she does love me and that she does want me to come see her in Iceland. But I had cancelled that ticket already. I told her I would book another one soon. We talked for a few more weeks but I could tell she was getting cold again toward me. Then at the end of March i sent her a message and she never replied again. And I refused to write her back until she replied to my message. A month and a half went by and I was really missing her. Her birthday was May 8th so i sent her flowers. She got them and we talked on the phone. She told me that I hurt her and that i still MAY have a chance. Then she told me something shocking. She said in July she will be coming to Chicago. I did not ask why but I was excited. At the time she did not tell me at all why she is coming here. I did not want to push her to tell me why because i wanted to ease my way back in her life. After a week of her sending me cold messages again i sent her an email asking why is she still being so cold toward me? She replied telling me that the reason she is coming to Chicago is because she is coming to see another man who lives here who see met in January online. I was devestated. But I did not write her back. I called her a week later and she hung up on me when she realized it was me. A month went by and at the end June i got so desperate. I called her and when she realized it was me she told me to "go to hell" and hung up the phone. I called her back over and over but she never answered. I sent her emails and she replied to some of them telling me that she was an idiot for waiting so long for me and that this man asked her to come she him and she is going. I was in so much pain, knowing that she would be in my city to see another man. She arrived here on July 2nd. We communicated on FB but she told me i am too late, she is here with this man and she cannot see me or hurt him. I told her i love her soo much and i want to marry her and all this stuff i truly felt. After 3 days of me messaging her like crazy, she agreed to meet me. While I was at work on Tuesday July 10 she sent me a message saying she can meet me in a park for an hour, while this guy is at work. I rushed over there, we met, and at the time it was wonderful. She was mad at me of course but she let me explain things. I wanted to hold her hand and she let me and she said to me if i come to Iceland and prove my love to her thatb she would be with me again no matter what this man does. She also said, on your own without me asking anything, that she wished it was ME she was in Chicago to see and not this other man. But she could not leave this man now because he would be hurt. I tried to understand. So we parted and I sent her a message that night telling her how happy i was and how i will come see her and how i love her and will prove that to her. She did not message me for 2 days and it was a cold message saying she had got sick. I messaged her saying sorry and more stuff about how much I love her. She did not message me for another 3 days after i sent her a couple of messages asking her to tell me what she thought of meeting me and if she still loved me. She replied that she would message me later that day but she never did. I sent her a message the next day asking where she was and that i thought she would message me yesterday. Five minutes after I sent that message, she blocked me. I was so upset. i sent her an email asking why she did that and did she not like whati looked like in person or something, but no reply. The next day she sent me an email telling me that its not about looks, its about me, and she does not like my behavior, and that she is deeply in love with this man now she is with here. That she loves everything about him, that she realized she has no feelings for me, its too late, and that my "time is gone" I was in so much pain and still am. I can understand why she is upset but why would she give me false hope like that? Telling me if i come to Iceland I will be with you and telling me that she wished she was here with ME and not HIM only to have her say 5 days later that she loves this man and wants to be with him. I have been in so much pain this whole month and would do anything to get her back. She does back to Iceland this Sunday July 22nd. I want to call her so badly next week and talk to her. Even though it hurts so bad knowing she has been with this man in Chicago for 3 weeks and probably having sex with him every night.

What is everyones opinion of this crazy story? I'm so hurt you have no idea.

[Boisdevie]

You my friend need your head examining. Do you not realise that there are lots of women from Eastern Europe looking for a meal ticket? Love? Get a grip on reality.

[Jason224]

But we talked for so long and she wasn't living in some third world country dude, she was living in Iceland.

[Boisdevie]

She sounds like she was lying all the time. For example, do you really have any proof about her Chicago trip. Sounds like a lot of crap to me - a way of winding you up. How old are you?

[Jason224]

Obviously you didn't read my entire post. I said I met her last week here in Chicago for an hour. So yes, she REALLY did come here and she is still here now. Leaves this Sunday.

[Cerby]

I did read the whole thing, and I have to ask you. Why didn't she come to Chicago to meet you? She came for him, but in years of talking to you, she never came for you. Doesn't that seem a little suspect?

If this story is fully legit, then I'd agree with her, you missed your chance. She asked you to go see her countless times, and you said you would, and never did. When she started to pull away, you became everyone a woman isn't looking for, whining, sending repeated emails trying to get her to re-open up to you, etc. She met someone else who WAS willing to meet her, and she apparently wants to be with. You should wish them luck, because this guy managed to meet her in 6 months of talking, where you took years and never got it done. Be honest, you only bought the plane ticket to hold it over her head if she didn't call you on her birthday, otherwise it never would have happened.

[VincenzoG91]

*Sigh*

If only there were some nice young women in Chicago.

[UdoKier]

You my friend need your head examining. Do you not realise that there are lots of women from Eastern Europe looking for a meal ticket? Love? Get a grip on reality.

The cousin of one of my best friend brought a Russian girl to the states and married her. Everyone told him she was going drop his ass as soon as she got a chance because she is a little thick but still very pretty and te is a fat, ugly mexican dude on a middle class income. It's been almost 10 years and they are still together.

[cheekxs]

the way you type is not attractive to wright dudeeee

[cheekxs]

-the way you write

[Boisdevie]

The cousin of one of my best friend brought a Russian girl to the states and married her. Everyone told him she was going drop his ass as soon as she got a chance because she is a little thick but still very pretty and te is a fat, ugly mexican dude on a middle class income. It's been almost 10 years and they are still together.

Once example of two unattractive people managing to stay together is hardly conclusive proof is it?
Her = stupid with no money.
Him = Fat and ugly but with money.
Not exactly a match made in heaven is it? They're both using each other.

[Jason224]

@Cerby

Why do you think she told me in person when we met in the park last week that SHE wants me to come to Iceland in a month and if I do that it will prove my love for her and she will be with me again no matter what this guy does? AND why do you think she also told me that day that she wished it was ME she was here in Chicago to see now and not HIM? Why would she tell me those things? Was she lying?

[VincenzoG91]

The more important question is Why are you pursing this girl? Why are you dating local women who are likely to have a lot more common with you than somebody far away with a language barrier and a culture barrier to overcome? What are you running away from that makes this even seem like a good idea? Deal with that first, because whatever your problem is, you're not going to find any answers in Iceland.

[toknow]

Hehe... I think what you are attracted to here, besides he physical appearance, is how spontaneous (unpredictable - mysterious) she is. She knows how to wrap guys around her little finger. It's a game and she seems to play it very well, almost a skill. That's why you are crazy hooked and she can make you do things you'd never imagine doing for anyone else. Hang in there, you are dealing with a "pro" (not to imply she does this for a living). You'll need to acquire some of those type of skills if you want to even the field. What you have going for you, is she underestimates you in this game, which can double the impact of yours.

[Cerby]

@Cerby

Why do you think she told me in person when we met in the park last week that SHE wants me to come to Iceland in a month and if I do that it will prove my love for her and she will be with me again no matter what this guy does? AND why do you think she also told me that day that she wished it was ME she was here in Chicago to see now and not HIM? Why would she tell me those things? Was she lying?

Yes, she was lying. She was caught up in the moment, nothing more.