Groom/Bride to have sex on bachelors party/hen night?

[WalkOverMe]

Hello,

First, no, I'm not getting married but I've been out with my girlfriend drinking last weekend and we came across several hens night and bachelors parties.

My girlfriend then makes a comment saying, poor woman, last time she's gonna get to have sex with someone else.
I looked at her and though she was joking, but it turns out my girlfriend is 100% convinced that bachelor(ette) party is just for that.

Her words were "That's the whole idea behind a bachelor party, so that the partner can have sex with another person for the last time".
I tried explaining it to her over and over that such a party is a send off to married life. It usually involves that your friends take you out for a crazy night were you end up drunk, and probably get a lap dance from a stripper. It also often involves doing "the list", where you friend have little challenges for the bride/groom to be, such as getting a kiss on the cheek by 2 waitresses.
But definitely not so the groom/bride gets to have sex with another person for the last time.

Even when I asked her why she would think that a couple would want to have sex with another person just days before they get married, she simply replied because that's the last time you are allowed to have sex with another person and that's just the way it is.

Please, someone tell me I am not mistaken here. Those parties are for sure not to have sex, but rather a send of to married life where you probably get a lap dance.
My girlfriend is 25 years old and rather smart, but her view on this.... it shocked me!

[Petit Papillon]

No they are not. I am actually not a fan of such parties, and if it has to happen already, I would be definitely disturbed finding out my partner had sex with someone. The wedding would probably not happen.
You have to talk about it with her. Maybe it's a sign, that both of you have different expectations. Maybe it's good you find about it now, in case you both disagree and can't come to the conclusion, maybe it's not a good idea to stay in that relationship.
It's your choice of course what you do with it, but I say, that I definitely have a different view of what bachelor/ette party should look like.

[Boisdevie]

She is just wrong, plain wrong.

[Simsala]

I have definitely heard of parties gone wrong, where either the bride or groom ended up having se with someone because they got too drunk. But then the wedding was called off or they shortly got divorced afterwards.

Bachelor parties are as you said a send off to married life, the furthest they should usually go is maybe to get a lap dance from a stripper, but they absolutely do not mean you get to have sex with someone. Why would you want to have sex with someone else if you love someone so much that you want to marry them?
I don't know why your girlfriend would even think such a horrible thing.

[Melina]

Load of rubbish!

[VincenzoG91]

Maybe she can give you a call the night of her bachelorette party before she gets married to some other guy. Otherwise, I don't see a happy future for you with her.

[vashti]

I have heard of a lot of sexual shenanigans happening with private strippers at bachelor parties, but never at the bachelorette parties.

Personally, I think it is a terrible way to start a married life.

[oldskool83]

your friends a morron....tell her i said so. also tell her never to get married either. see women stupid until age 30 i swear!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Going by your girlfriends logic, you are technically allowed to have sex with someone else right now and so is she...




Vashti, I recognize this is a case of the pot calling the kettle black, but why would you post some ignorant shit like that?

[Petit Papillon]

Vashti, I recognize this is a case of the pot calling the kettle black, but why would you post some ignorant shit like that?

You're bored or what? Wth do you want from Vashti, she responded in the same way that others did.

[vashti]

Vashti, I recognize this is a case of the pot calling the kettle black, but why would you post some ignorant shit like that?

Care to elaborate on this? Because I don't have the vaguest idea what you are objecting to.

[iamaninnocentma]

ooooooh interesting. Will backuporgtestung back up his vicious attack on vashti, or will he go comb his giant moostache like he normally does like an evil genius.

As for the op. Your gf is a slut. sorry man. Its ok to get a bj at a batchelor party but sex with a stripper is not cool.

A batchelorette party should be like the scene in Grease, where olivia newton john makes an arse of herself. Definately shouldnt be any pumping.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Shenanigans only happen at bachelor parties? Please. Women are just as grimy and boorish as men are. I agree it's a shit way to start a marriage, but women go to strip clubs and do the same things men do.


*Combs giant moostache*

[vashti]

Shenanigans only happen at bachelor parties? Please. Women are just as grimy and boorish as men are. I agree it's a shit way to start a marriage, but women go to strip clubs and do the same things men do.


*Combs giant moostache*

I dont know what kind of women you hang with, but I don't know any woman who does this, not even for a bachelorette party. I am sure they exist, but they are far from typical. The most wild I see is women going to Las Vegas and drinking/dancing in the clubs, and one time, some nurses I know took IV fluids and started IVs on each other to infuse fluids to avoid a hnagover while they slept. lol

This is probably a matter of what types of people you surround yourself with.

[VincenzoG91]

One summer, during my peak bar-hopping years, I decided to specialize in bachelorette parties. When they would show up at a bar, I would soon head on over and start hitting on somebody. With one exception, I never got anywhere with the bride-to-be, but sometimes I would get a number from one of the other women in the group. That one time, the bride-to-be grabbed me and started making out with me after I said like two sentences. She was drunk, and her future sister-in-law was furious. I hung out with them for a while, but decided to bail on the craziness after an hour.

An ex-girlfriend of mine was at a bachelorette party where the bride-to-be ended up having sex with a guy in the backseat of his car in the parking lot of the bar. My ex considered that highly scandalous, though she herself wasn't exactly a paragon of morality.