I've just broken up with my girlfriend

[ab84]

I've just broken up with my girlfriend of 9 years and I feel awful. I absolutely love her to bits, she's an amazing person. She's caring, loving, generous, friendly, gets on well with my family and couldn't do enough for me. She's a beautiful person inside and out. Problem is I haven't been in love with her for the last few years and rather stupidly carried on so as not to hurt her, and this has obviously made it worse. I tried to get it back but it just wasn't there. We've not slept together for about 12 months and it was obvious there was a problem. I could see she was really making the effort, planning trips away, dressing up more etc but as I say it wasn't there.

We basically had words on the weekend and I was straight with her and told her how I felt and right at this moment we are on a break but I don't see it doing anything. A break is generally something couples who argue a lot do, some time apart to re access what they want, but we don't argue ever. Basically I care deeply for her and I'm hurting so much knowing how devastated she is, I keep playing over things she said etc when we had our break up talk and it's killing me. Music reminds me, her toothbrush over my house reminds me. What's worse is she said she can't be a friend to me.

I can't imagine my life without her in it, will it get easier? Never been through this before

[smackie9]

She's an adult she can take care of herself so don't worry about her. Ya you will get over it, it just takes a few months of adjustment. Eventually you start to fill in the gap with other things and you will meet someone.....life does go on.

[cast no shadow]

9 years is a life time, and you sure to feel that way.
It was weird if you didn't.

It will take time, but as people say (I'm not there yet myself) time will do the work.

But I have to ask,
If you've been together for so long, are you sure you did all it takes to work it out?

Obviously you aren't a jerk, and really love and care for her.
I'm sure she knows that as well.

[smackie9]

A relationship doesn't have to end because it turned bad. Sometimes people grow apart, lose interest, and things go stale.....it just expires.

[Sonrisa]

how come no sex in 12 months? who is ugly?

[Cerby]

You can't deny that your feelings had come unraveled. No matter how bad you feel about it, you know you did the right thing. I can see in the way you've posted that you already accept that it was over many months ago.

As Smackie said, life goes on, you'll fill in the gaps and find someone new as time rolls by. Many things will remind you of her for a long time, just don't mistake notalgia for feelings, everyone in a break-up feels the way you do right now.

[Lovelytips]

Being in Love is something and breaking up is another, you realy have to decide what you realy want because i believe you can go for her if you want her and as well if you don't like her anymore then with time your feelings for her will gradually fade away.