Attention Shy Men........

[Shygirls]

I would really love to get several men's oppinions about my situation. It's a really long but interesting story! Are there any men here that are somewhat shy that would be willing to read something and offer advice and opinions if I post it?

[Cerby]

Just ask, you'll get a variety of opinions, but that is how this forum works.

[Shygirls]

Sigh... This has bothered me for years and I know that I will never truly know what happened but I hope that I can gain some insight to help me move on. I had the best kiss of my life about nine years ago with a guy that I had a crush on for several months. I feel like I need to provide some background and all the details so this could get long. Sorry in advance but I'd be willing to pay if I knew I could get answers to questions that have haunted me for years!

This guy was someone I worked with and saw often. When I came to work for the company, It was made known that I did not date guys that I worked with. I had also been recently dumped so my focus at the time was getting over that hurt and focusing on my career! After awhile, my heart started to heal and I started to notice Sean.

He was a bit different. Kinda awkward and somewhat shy. Very cute, funny and sweet! I think he started to pick up on my feelings because one day he came up behind me and startled me! He liked to come up behind me and scare me like this! Lol! This time when I turned around I was blushing! He giggled! I took off! I was very shy too!

From that moment, things were different. We were both awkward around each other, there was a definite tension. I felt that he liked me too but I had a hard time reading him! My gut told me we had an attraction and I felt it in the way he looked at me. I felt we were both two shy people that liked each other.

Occasionally I had brave moments where I talked to him more and tried to feel him out but he sometimes seemed uncomfortable! I wanted to tell him how I felt but I was unsure how he felt so I just admired at a distance. I could not tell if he liked me but he was as shy as I am or if he didn't like me at all.

I used to love how he would always say my name before almost every sentence! I liked saying his name too. Ive never known someone to say my name so often!

Anyway, I worked for that company about a year and had this crush on him for six months of that year. I was going to school at the time and working full time so I started looking for another job that had better hours. I think that subconsciously, I wanted another job so I could date him because of my rule on dating guys at work.

Soooo I did find another job and after giving my notice, I was determined to tell him how I felt. One day on my way back into work from lunch, I walked by him sitting in his car. I thought this was my perfect moment! I walked over and got into his passenger side. I started small talk about who knows what and then after a few minutes...... silence! He did not say much at all but just answer my questions and could hardly look at me. I could not find the words! I chickened out and then I just said see ya later and got out of his car and headed back into work.

On my last day there, he was not there. I wrote my number down and asked someone in his department to give it to him. I felt that would sure send the message??? I had to do something since I chickened out the day before. He never called.

About a year later, I was out with some girl friends at a club and I ran into him. He noticed me first and called out my name! I remember trying to control my heart from pounding out of my chest when I turned around and saw him. I gave myself the " calm down" speech! I did well though. I acted very natural, walked up to him and gave him a hug. I asked how he was doing and who he was there with.

He was by himself?? He said his friends left but he wasn't ready to leave. I thought it was odd that he would stay at a place by himself????? I remember feeling immediate attraction towards him even after so long. We had some form of small talk and then I got the nerve to touch his arm and whisper in his ear that I had the biggest crush on him at work! Without hesitation he asked me why I never told him. I just said that I was shy and I chickened out. I felt like he was saying he wished I would have told him.

I spent the next couple hours with him talking, laughing, dancing! He was charming and funny. We just kind of goofed off on the dance floor. I never asked him why he did not call or if he even ever got my number from the guy in his department. We were on the dance floor when all of a sudden he kisses me! I was not expecting it! Not that I hadn't thought about it! I had looked down for a moment and when I looked up, his lips were on mine! It was magic! The best kiss I have ever had in my life! It was soooo very passionate! I melted like butter. Is it possible he did not feel that????

After that kiss, we left the dance floor. I grabbed his hand and lead him to a table where we kissed over and over talking somewhat in between. Mostly kissing though. I could have kissed him for hours. It was that special! In the heat of the moment, I placed my hand on his leg right above his knee. He whispered in my ear "sl_t"! I had never had that happen before! I was kissing him because I really liked him not because I am a sl_t!! Did he really think that or was he trying to talk dirty??? I asked him why he would say that and he looked down and off to the right and said he was just joking!!

I just dropped it in hopes of sparing us both embarrassment. If he was talking dirty, I could have liked it but I really did not want him to think that. Was he joking? I don't know. What should I have said???? If I knew he really didn't think that, I may have laughed.

Sooo I remembered that I had not seen my friends for a couple hours and needed to find them. I told him that I was glad to see him but I had to go. I wrote down my number, put it in his shirt pocket. I whispered in his ear that I hoped he called me. One last kiss, and I turned to go confident that I would get a call in a few days! It was a week before Valentines day so I figured he may even wait until after that to call.

He did call but it took him three months!! I remember feeling confused and disappointed. I just did not understand why he would not call after the great time we had and the amazing kissing and he knew I liked him.

But I moved on and started to see someone else about a month later. Things had just started to become more exclusive with my new guy when I got the call from Sean. I was surprised to hear his voice and I am sure I sounded very excited because I was! He gave me some line about going through his phone numbers because he got a new phone and wanted to see if my number was still good??? Like I really believed that. Why did it matter if my phone number was still good if he never used it? Did he not even ever think of me again until he saw my number in his phone? He apparently had programmed my number in his phone if that were true. Why did he put my number in his phone and not ever use it???

Anyway, we had a good conversation for about an hour. We kept it very light and I never asked him why he was calling me after three months. This is the question I wish I could have an answer to the most.

I started to realize that my new boyfriend would be home so I told him that I was glad he called but I had to let him go because my boyfriend would be home soon. He sounded disappointed and said "Christy, you talked to me all this time and you have a boyfriend??" I told him that I was sorry but I wanted to talk to him and wanted to see how he was. I said that it sucked that he never called me. There was silence on the phone and then he said he would let me go. With that we ended the phone call.

I have wondered about this ever since! We were both 25 at the time. I am now 35 and still think about him! Ughhh. Did he ever like me? Why did it take him so long to call? Why did he call me a sl_t?? Why did he kiss me and then wait three months to call???? Why can't I let it go? Any insight would be appreciated! Thanks in advance.

[iamaninnocentma]

View invoice? Am i getting charged for reading that pish?

[Shygirls]

LMAO! Sorry I actually copied and pasted this. I sent this to an online relationship expert that charges for their advice. View invoice was apparently at the bottom of my email. What is pish ? American girl not familiar with that slang term.

[iamaninnocentma]

pish=very interesting story. Good idea that, charging for advice. Thats 3 bucks you owe me.

[Shygirls]

Ok put it on a tab please!

[VincenzoG91]

I think that he really liked you, but he was probably already in a relationship when you met up at the club. That's why he didn't call you to set up a date for Valentine's Day. His relationship was probably doomed after that night at the club, but probably took a few months to completely fail. And by then, you had moved on and he realized that he had waited too long. So he probably just moved on, too.

Sometimes everything but the timing is right. He is probably married now. And for all you know, the relationship probably wouldn't have worked out. Not because either of you are bad people, but just because most relationships don't work out in the long run anyway. Even a lot of marriages don't work out. So don't beat yourself up over him, it just didn't work out is all.

And don't worry about the slut thing. He probably was just trying to make a joke or talk dirty, but felt awkward about your reaction to it.

[haxan]

I don't know, that's a lot of crap to read. In general, shy girls can be cute and attractive for the most part, but awkward is just awkward. Stick with the guys that call more than once every couple of months :-)