Hey everyone, i've posted another thread 2 weeks back that goes into lengthy detail about the previous month I've just had. Feel free to read it if the following stuff doesn't make sense.
I'll just say a small amount of it here, basically been with my girlfriend for a year and 5 months. Everything was perfect, each week it was getting better and better, we were going out together places, she was putting a lot of effort in with me too, always missed me, she could never go two days without wanting to see me, and she could never go half a day without sending me a text. Then, I got ill for a month and EVERYTHING went downhill. The first 2 weeks i was ill, things seemed fine, I was getting depressed that i couldn't go out or see her (I was contagious) she was out with her friends a lot in clubs at nights etc, she said she always missed me and wished I was there. By the third week i felt so crappy and low that i became a bit moody, and was being quite blunt/off with her, after that i snapped out of it but she was being distant with me. this carried on for 2 weeks, on the next week she said she needed time to herself and we didn't talk for a couple of days. After that, we met up to talk things through, she told me she didn't feel like she loved me quite the same as before then gave me one final chance to show i can be better (stop moaning etc)
So, the next 2 weeks from then i took her out occasionally, things seemed to be looking up, they were a hell of a lot better than the previous weeks anyway. But by the second week it got the better of me. I asked to meet up with her because I needed to ask her something. We met up this monday just gone and i asked her "I need to know deep down do you still want this relationship?" She went quiet and said "I dont know" followed by "i do honestly think you are such a lovely boy and you're so caring and nice but i dont want to string you along" and i truly expected that so i showed no emotion. we spoke some more and i said "i've expected this the past month really, so now it's happened i sort of dont care for it anymore" and she instantly said "what you don't care for me anymore? Or you don't love me anymore..?" and she looked really upset. Then we spoke some more and I said "So I guess it's over then.." and she looked quite shocked and said "is that what you want?" I replied with "No, I'd rather be in the relationship, i still love you but I feel like i'm wasting my time"
When we said goodbye i said "so this is the final goodbye I guess" she gave me a big hug, quickly kissed me on the cheek then turned around really fast, I could tell she started crying. As soon as i turned around it hit me big time, walked home feeling weak, could barely breathe i was crying so much.
So ALL of that happened because of a few small petty disagreements we had over the space of about 2 weeks. Now, going back to right before I was ill, everything with us was SO fine and perfect, she was always looking at holidays for us to go on during this summer, she was even always telling me about how nice it would be if sometime in the future we had our own place to live together (definitely not now, we're too young) We are both 18 and virgins. Losing her virginity is a VERY big thing for her and she always told me she knew i was the one she wanted it to be with, but we both agreed that waiting until we had been each other longer, was better connected emotionally etc would be best. That's exactly what we did, we both knew we was ready and she got birth control pills. We were both very excited (she was more excited than I was to be honest..) She started taking them the DAY i got ill. So obviously nothing happened, then this following month and now we are split up...
Basically What i'm trying to say here is that look at how close we were up until I got ill. That fact that she started taking her birth control shows that she was feeling VERY strongly about me. Now, reading back on how it went after I got ill. A thing I should note is that previously in the relationship, if we ever had a rough patch, she would seem to back off quite a bit and try let it blow over, she even said to me once "yeah I thought i'd leave you to it then in a couple of days it would be fine again" AND, she hasn't got many friends either, so previously she was always depressed that she couldn't go to parties etc. Then the moment she had one to go to, she would get SO overwhelmed by it that she'd sort of push me aside without knowing it (confronted her about it and she said she didnt realise and that she's sorry, said she just gets so excited its all she thinks about) So this links in with her being 18 and now going out to clubs with her friends, it seemed that when she started going out she pushed me aside a bit.
I spoke to my mum about all of this, not letting my mum know how I felt about it so I could see if she felt the same way as I did without being biased because i'm her son. Low and behold she thought exactly the same as me. We both think that because she was out a lot, thats on her mind all the time, then she has me on the other hand who was being a bit moany and ill. We both think that judging by how she was right before i was ill, and how she has been the entire time in the relationship (her feelings have NEVER one week been strong then suddenly non existent, she's always loved me so much and it's increased massively throughout the relationship) that these feelings that she has now are just temporary. In a couple of weeks when college starts again she will probably realise that her feelings are infact still there. And if they really have truly changed permanently over such a small petty 2 weeks rough patch then it shows she's just immature really.
We broke up this monday and we haven't spoken since, I feel that I need to meet up with her next week sometime and discuss all of this and find out whether or not she has felt upset this past week etc. And if she has missed me and regretted things. To basically really put my cards on the table, tell her exactly what I think about it. She will either say no she feels this was the right thing and wants to be apart, or "I've felt the same, i've hated this past week i've missed you" or if they are temporary and they're still there she might just say "I dont know yet still" then in a few weeks time she will soon realise, but by then it will be too late
Sorry if none of this makes sense, I have SO much to talk about that I know i'm missing things out, rambling on a bit too.
Basically we think that she wasn't ready to break up yet, not truly. When I asked her about her feelings she even said to me "I wanted to wait a few more weeks to see if they would come back but I cant lie about how I feel at the moment considering you said it face to face"
Do you guys think I should wait 2 weeks before contacting her and arranging to meet up with her? I'm stuck between 1 week or 2 weeks. She has ALWAYS hated not being able to talk to me, this was the case all the way up until the third week of me being ill, then after that we didn't chat AS much.
But yeah any advice will be appreciated, and once again sorry for the confusing post haha. Just ask anything you're unsure about and i'll correct it all for you
Thanks