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Thread: Help!.. Been pretty worried about this for two days now

  1. #1
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    Help!.. Been pretty worried about this for two days now

    So, I started seeing this girl about two weeks ago. We've only been out twice, kissed, cuddled.. nothing too serious. She just got out of a relationship and she told me she had a crush on me (evidently, she still does, she seems to adore me). Anyways, things were going great.. until she had to cancel a date on me one night. I know she felt really bad about it but had to cancel because she had had a long, upsetting day at work and was too exhausted. I offered just to buy her dinner, I'll admit I teased her a little too.. Well I had also just got a new phone which I'm not quite used to yet. The way it handles txts is just barely different enough to throw me off a bit. Anyways, at some point she txts "...." and "Ill talk to you later."

    I worried about it but figured I said something to upset her and was just going to wait for her to txt/call back.. then at some point I checked my messages again, just rereading the txts from last night and HOLY CRAP!! Reading all the txts in order kind of disturbed me. I sounded clingy, needy, and clearly I was annoying her. I also found txts I didn't even know were there which just made me feel even more like I was being clingy and annoying. After I noticed that I txted her apologizing for the night before, saying I felt like such a jerk. All she said was "Its fine." So I said "Well, don't feel bad about cancelling on me last night (which is what I should have said) I've had plenty of days like that myself. We still on for hanging out next week?" She said "Possibly" and my last message to her was "Ok, well I wanted to give you space anyways. Sounded like you wanted it after last night. Just wanted to appologize now that I see how weird and must've sounded "

    Yeah, I miss spelled a few things :\... anyways, what do you think? How long should I wait to txt/call her? I really don't want to screw this up, its only been a few dates and it seems like we really like each other. I really hope this isn't a lost cause now....

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    I have an unfortunate feeling that this boat might have sailed. Anytime you're "Apologizing" for something early on like this, it means you're conceding a defensive position early on - this is not attractive at all. Wait at LEAST a few days or until she contacts you. CALL her, don't be a pussy and text. Arrange for a date this weekend, if she says she is busy, immediately try to book next weekend. If she doesn't say yes or suggest an alternate date, then sadly, she is no longer interested.
    "All is fair in love and war." - Francis Edward Smedley

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    Even though she has/had a crush on me? Apparently she's felt this way since she was like 13 or so. She's 19 now.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shyloner View Post
    Even though she has/had a crush on me? Apparently she's felt this way since she was like 13 or so. She's 19 now.
    It is very easy to scare someone away early on in the dating cycle. Clinginess and neediness are one of those things that can turn the switch from "on" to "off" in a heartbeat. Like I said, leave it a few days, and ask her on another date. You'll have your answer pretty quick.
    "All is fair in love and war." - Francis Edward Smedley

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    Well ok, over-exagerated a bit (finally rereading all of it), I still came off kind of needy and clingy. It really depends on how its read... trying to resist txting her or calling her. I posted on her facebook status about trying to decide on whether or not to get a tattoo offering to draw something for her (She LOVES my art, I draw a lot)... I hate being so new to all this I feel so clueless sometimes.

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    I personally think that this girl isn't into you anymore, short replies like 'possibly' and 'It's fine' doesn't tell me that she is as into you as much as you think otherwise she would be jumping at the chance of going on a date with you.

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    What did you text her that was so clingy and needy? I'm curious. Anyway I agree with the other posters - she seems like she isn't interested that much anymore. The fact that she had a crush on you means that she had big expectations, which is never really a good thing. Wait until she contacts you, and if she doesn't, call her making NO MENTION of what happened with the texts and all, and ask her on a date, like Cerby said.

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    I well I kept trying to get her to come hang out with me anyways even though she kept saying she was really tired and just wanted to go home. I only got two of the txts that said something like "I'm sorry.." or "I'm upset and exhausted from a long day at work.".. I told her she could take a shower at the place I was staying and when she turned me down I offered to buy her dinner at least before she went home (yeah, I missed a few txts in this conversation)... I don't know, she didn't seem to loose interest until that night. Before that every time I talked to her she always jumped at the chance to go out with me. Its just after that one night she's gotten all weird and quiet with me. She always seemed excited just to talk to me before..

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    forget her...shes not showing interest. she canceled because she got stupid and didnt wanna really go. if a girl wants to see you she will make damn well it happens.

    ive been insituations where girls want to see me and somthings always happens. ignore them, they hate it and will coming running back ina few days. if a girl wants to see you it dont matter if she locked her keys in he rhouse or went to the wrong place to meet you. trust me, i go on alot of dates with dif people...this girls a flake you speak of.
    Last edited by oldskool83; 06-07-12 at 02:58 AM.

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    Yeahh.. part of what made her seem to get upset that night was that she had to flake..

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    id ask her if she got the sand out of her vag yet.

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    Could there have been something else that made her distant like this?.. I mean, I know I sounded clingy but I wasn't THIS bad.. and the past few conversations we've had have been good but short and kind of strange in tone.

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    It means shes starting to make the distance. Why don't you make it up to her?

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