I'll keep this brief [Hi all, btw.. I'm new here]
What drives a man to leave his wife and 1yr old son? A little background: We were together for 16yrs, married for 3. We tried for 7 heartbreaking years to have a child.. we had IVF in the end [against my beliefs/ethics, but ultimately I did it for him] I spent 2 yrs going through treatments before IVF [after we got married] and it all ended in a miracle and we had a beautiful baby boy My husband was absolutely overjoyed and besotted. He told me he was so happy. I admit I was hard work to live with through all the hormone treatments - then IVF - and after our son was born he was ill for the first 5 months and didn't know what the word 'sleep' meant until he got to about 11 months. It all almost killed me [I did 90% of the night shifts as my husband is self employed and was under a lot of pressure with work/long hours etc] I ended up with post natal depression. I was a mess and too embarrassed to tell anyone. He knew I cried a lot during the day and had lost interest in sex for 'a reason', but we never 'talked' properly about my issues or his with work. Anyway, he literally left out of the blue last September with a bag containing only socks and pants - ALL of his stuff [and there is 16yrs worth] is still here at the house where my son and I have stayed [I was made redundant 2 weeks after he left.. he pays he mortgage here, so I have no choice but to stay here until I find a new job] Even his office is still complete.. he's taken nothing.
He lived with his parents for about 6 weeks, then he says he was staying in work in his workshop and/or sleeping at his mates house on weekends. He then met someone [he says in the December, his mother thinks much sooner] and practically moved straight in - she lives to freakin streets away. It hurts like hell. It all hurts like hell. He's been sleeping with me on and off [30+ times now] since about November last year. He still would if I let him, but I put a stop to it. He was always a very moral man.. completely loyal [so how he's cheating on her with me I just don't know??].. very loving.. protective.. funny.. energetic.. passionate.. desperate for a family.. he was just the dog's b******* and I loved him more than life itself. He says I never showed him.. and that he felt pushed out, unloved and unwanted since we got married. Currently he's gained 2 stone, grown his hair half way down his back and he's permanently angry, pale and drawn. [Isn't she supposed to be maiking him happy?]
I just spent 10 months trying to convince him he got SO much wrong about how I felt, but he either can't believe me or he doesn't want to.
What I want to know from a man's perspective is:
What made him really leave?
Why doesn't he believe he got it wrong?
How could he move on so quickly? [He told me he didn't 'want' to leave and it 'broke his heart' to do so]