I feel...stuck?

[lovexoxo]

I have been dating a guy on and off for 3 (almost 4) years now. I'm 21 now and he's 29. He's 29, has a job but still lives at home. He's nowhere near close to moving out on his own. He's an only child and he's very spoiled by his parents. I'm afraid that he'll be living with his parents for quite sometime yet. He said that he would never get an apartment because, "it's a waste of money." Apparently, his parents are going to retire soon and plan on selling their house. After, they are going to buy him a house and they are going to move up north. Who is to say that their house will even sell right away? Today's house market is not the greatest. And that could mean he'll be living with them for awhile yet! I think he is so set on his parents giving him this house later on, that he is just sitting back and enjoying the ride...I guess. I worry about the future and how he's going to support a family if his parents keep doing everything for him. His mom even does his own laundry still and irons his clothes still. That is so unattractive to me. He is also a very big video gamer and has over 400 movies (he buys movies A LOT). We do have a good connection and we know each other inside out but....is it wrong of me to want more? To want someone that isn't so stuck on their parents? He also wants to marry me and have kids with me but with all of this...I don't know If I truly do. I sometimes feel happy with him and other times I don't.

[lovexoxo]

Can anyone give me some sort of advice?

[AdminOnline]

At least he is decent guy , to start with.

he might be a great saver too. Know how to save money for good use later..

[stooges]

It's not wrong. I think, if you know him that well and are still having doubts, it might be best to take some sort of break, as difficult as that might sound. I don't know how the rest of the relationship is. But I've been in the "sometimes happy/sometimes not" position and in the end, if you don't know for SURE if you're even generally happy or not, that's a red flag. It's very hard to accept, at least it was for me, but the answer is usually that he isn't the person for you. If you love someone to the point of wanting to be with them forever, even if there are loads of problems to be worked out, there should still be no question as to whether or not they, in themselves, make you happy. That doesn't mean things couldn't turn around with your guy... everyone has to grow up sometime, including him, and perhaps he will in a way you find satisfying. But you should definitely talk to him about it and tell him your doubts for the future.

If you think you need someone right now who could be self-sufficient, and he isn't going to be that anytime soon, perhaps you should try and explore other options. Don't tie yourself down with somebody you aren't sure about just because you've been together for a long time. Maye you could still end up together in the end if you realize that's what you want, but right now you may want to consider taking some time to yourself and exploring other options. Or at least have an in-depth, serious conversation about this. Good luck

[oldskool83]

kinda sounds like he has no drive for his age.

[JBELL]

your 21 don't let a 29 year old BOY tie you down you should be out having fun not sitting at home with his folks watching movies

its easier said then done cause you obviously love him but it sounds like his comfortable with what he has got and you sound like you want better and bigger things and thats not wrong!!

Good Luck

[surfhb]

I have been dating a guy on and off for 3 (almost 4) years now. I'm 21 now and he's 29. He's 29, has a job but still lives at home. He's nowhere near close to moving out on his own. He's an only child and he's very spoiled by his parents. I'm afraid that he'll be living with his parents for quite sometime yet. He said that he would never get an apartment because, "it's a waste of money." Apparently, his parents are going to retire soon and plan on selling their house. After, they are going to buy him a house and they are going to move up north. Who is to say that their house will even sell right away? Today's house market is not the greatest. And that could mean he'll be living with them for awhile yet! I think he is so set on his parents giving him this house later on, that he is just sitting back and enjoying the ride...I guess. I worry about the future and how he's going to support a family if his parents keep doing everything for him. His mom even does his own laundry still and irons his clothes still. That is so unattractive to me. He is also a very big video gamer and has over 400 movies (he buys movies A LOT). We do have a good connection and we know each other inside out but....is it wrong of me to want more? To want someone that isn't so stuck on their parents? He also wants to marry me and have kids with me but with all of this...I don't know If I truly do. I sometimes feel happy with him and other times I don't.

Well i would say he would be able to support a family just fine if his parents buy him a house and pay for everything. Renting is a waste of money....i have to agree. Only reason I dont live with my parents is that they would drive me crazy.... But if its unattractive to you, find another guy

[Cerby]

Does he do his own laundry, know how to cook, etc? If not, walk away, as soon as you move in together you'll become his maid.

[AdminOnline]

Does he do his own laundry, know how to cook, etc? If not, walk away, as soon as you move in together you'll become his maid.

hahaha~ LOL!!!

[Boisdevie]

A guy of his age earning money and he doesn't have is own place - wierd.
My advice - find an adult to go out with.

[lovexoxo]

Does he do his own laundry, know how to cook, etc? If not, walk away, as soon as you move in together you'll become his maid.

He does not do his own laundry. And his mom irons his clothes. He only ever cooks nachos. He usually ALWAYS goes to fast food restaurants to eat because he is very picky about his food. :\

[lovexoxo]

Well i would say he would be able to support a family just fine if his parents buy him a house and pay for everything. Renting is a waste of money....i have to agree. Only reason I dont live with my parents is that they would drive me crazy.... But if its unattractive to you, find another guy

The thing is, I don't find it attractive that his parents have to buy him a house. That is something that him and I should be able to do together. I won't ever be able to experience finding a house w/ him if his parents go and buy one! I'll miss out on that experience!!

[lovexoxo]

A guy of his age earning money and he doesn't have is own place - wierd.
My advice - find an adult to go out with.

Lol

[lovexoxo]

your 21 don't let a 29 year old BOY tie you down you should be out having fun not sitting at home with his folks watching movies

its easier said then done cause you obviously love him but it sounds like his comfortable with what he has got and you sound like you want better and bigger things and thats not wrong!!

Good Luck

Thank you! And you're right, it's not wrong. It is a preference of mine to date someone that has more going for them. I can't help that and I won't help it.

[surfhb]

The thing is, I don't find it attractive that his parents have to buy him a house. That is something that him and I should be able to do together. I won't ever be able to experience finding a house w/ him if his parents go and buy one! I'll miss out on that experience!!

The experience of buying a house?! Pfsst! Have you ever owned and worked to upkeep one? Its sooo much fun!

Then find another guy. Id give my left nut to be in this guys shoes. Im just saying that if you settle down with this guy and you and him raise a family in a PAID FOR house you might be singing a different tune.....Thats all guaranteed youre lives will be much easier. Just giving you a little perspective