making a move

[stooges]

I have this male friend I see in group settings that I really like. I've tried dropping hints for a while, but I don't think subtlety is the way to go in this case. It's like he still hasn't at all considered the idea of being with me, though I do think it could potentially happen. I want to try and make a straightforward move that will really put the idea in his head and let me know for sure if he could be interested or not.

A lot of the advice I get when I ask is something like "smile at him a lot" or "flirt with him", and since I'm a girl I should apparently just wait for him to come to me, but I don't see anything wrong with making the actual first move myself... that way I can move on if it isn't going to happen. What are some clear things I can do? Grab his hand during a movie, kiss him? I don't want to do something that could turn out really awkward, since I have no idea of his feelings for me, but I wanna do something obvious all the same. Any suggestions?

[smackie9]

Wait for him? Hun you will be missing out on several opportunities to get with a guy doing it that way. There is nothing wrong with asking a guy out on a date or making the first move either. There are a whole lot a guys out there that wish girls would be more out going or be more assertive in their intentions. If it gets too awkward then he is not the guy for you......just be proud that you are confident and you gave it a shot.

[marzipan.banana]

Make prolonged eye contact, combined with smile. Ask his friends if he's available. Yes, make it clear that you're interested, but give him an opportunity to make the first move--or at least make it look like he made the first move. Guys (or rather, people in general) enjoy a little bit of a chase.

[Hat Trick]

Make prolonged eye contact, combined with smile. Ask his friends if he's available. Yes, make it clear that you're interested, but give him an opportunity to make the first move--or at least make it look like he made the first move. Guys (or rather, people in general) enjoy a little bit of a chase.

Pretty much this.
Also, ask him over text or something if he wants to meet up with you over the weekend to watch a film at the cinema or something. That way he and you may be more comfortable, then keep dropping hints. He is more likely to be making a move when he thinks you are interested.

[Boisdevie]

Stop pissing about and just ask him out.

[smackie9]

This generation is so pussified with all this texting.....no one has any confidence to just go up in person and say "I think you are cute, how about we go out for ........sometime? How's friday?" wow that so damn scary whooooooooooa.

[stooges]

Thanks for the input everyone. Maybe I didn't make this clear but I've already tried dropping hints like prolonged eye contact and smiling and whatnot for months. I want to make the move myself, not wait for him to make the move on me. I at least wanna make my intentions crystal clear. I was just wondering what the best way was... It's hard to just ask him out considering how much we hang out already anyway. I've said to him "we need to hang out soon!" and he was in agreement, but we ended up hanging out with mutual friends soon after and I guess that qualified; I didn't specify that we hang out alone. But I suppose I could try again and word it in a way that makes it obvious what I mean. I just wanna do something straightforward, and I see him all the time anyway. What if I just told him how I felt (sometime when we're alone of course)? Would that be unnecessarily awkward? Or is it best to do what some of you guys have been saying, which is basically just drop more obvious hints?

[smackie9]

NO! don't tell him how you feel! You only do that when you are in a relationship. OK think about what he is really into....then invite him to do whatever that is. Say he really likes sushi, you say " You want to go on an adventure with me? I discovered this kool sushi place and I want you to come with me and try it out, just you and me, are you in?"

Or you can do the cheesey high school way and have a friend tell him you like him and want him to ask you out.

[stooges]

NO! don't tell him how you feel! You only do that when you are in a relationship. OK think about what he is really into....then invite him to do whatever that is. Say he really likes sushi, you say " You want to go on an adventure with me? I discovered this kool sushi place and I want you to come with me and try it out, just you and me, are you in?"

Or you can do the cheesey high school way and have a friend tell him you like him and want him to ask you out.

Hehe yeah I was hoping to avoid the cheesy high school way, even though it would be quite a bit easier. I suppose I could just ask him out like you said.. it seems difficult for me, probably because I can be a bit of a shy/awkward person, and first dates without any previous history are breeding grounds for awkwardness in my mind lol. It probably is the best way, though. I was hoping I could just do something in a comfortable scenario when we're already hanging out and we end up alone for whatever reason (easy enough to make happen). But I dunno what that would be thanks for the advice

[JBELL]

i think the whole prolonged eye contact thing is creepy (in text anyway i guess it depends on how your doing it) i wouldn't just go in for a kiss or touch his hand i would definitely say want to grab a coffee after this class (or whatever your doing)

either way your going to regret not finding out if he liked you so whats worse the awkward feeling you may get or the relief of knowing you tried and it either worked out or not??

Good Luck!!

[Boisdevie]

I'm always happy to try to help people. Paypal me 100 dollars and I'll text him for you. Or just bloody well ask him out.

[AdminOnline]

I'm always happy to try to help people. Paypal me 100 dollars and I'll text him for you. Or just bloody well ask him out.

LOL!!

hahaha