Met a woman 2 months ago, and now we are talking about marriage

[Ghost88]

I am 37 years old, male, divorced for 3 years, 2 small kids.... just got out of a 2 year relationship with a woman earlier this year...ended badly.
Two months ago I signed onto Match.com, and met a woman, single mom, age 46. There was instant attraction. We have gone on two dates,
but we chat every night....for hours. We never had sex. We just enjoy each other immensely....and we kiss a lot during our dates.
We expressed our love for one another. And her family really likes me. Her mom thinks we should get married soon. I want to give it more time,
but I am sure she is the one for me.....sometimes in life you just know....

So we have been talking about marriage a lot lately. All the logistics...like location, caterers, music etc. For some reason my mind is sensing some red flags....
I feel we fell in love a bit too quickly....and I want to know her more. She is suggesting we should get married right after New Year. Before the marriage topic came about, we talked about birth control and sex...as we are sure that we will eventually have sex. She was abused as a young adult...but men....by drugs....and I sense a lot of her fears are due to her horrible past. She has a 24 year old daughter, and had several relationships, but she told me she has never fell in love
before until now. Because she has never been married before, she wants our marriage to be special. She suggested that we wait till marriage before we have sex. This way, we start a whole new life together, and she always imagined that she would wait to have sex with the love of her life. I actually agree with her, as much as I want to have sex with her.... she is GORGEOUS! I will wait....she is worth the wait.

Does any of this sound weird? Should I be concerned about any of this? Or this is just a normal romance? Any thoughts?

[surfhb]

just got out of a 2 year relationship with a woman earlier this year...ended badly

You must like the abuse

We have gone on two dates

Wow! Thats alot

For some reason my mind is sensing some red flags....

And youre considering marrying this girl because?

I am sure she is the one for me.....sometimes in life you just know....

which basically contradicts what you just said

we talked about birth control and sex...as we are sure that we will eventually have sex

Thats a good start

She was abused as a young adult...but men....by drugs....and I sense a lot of her fears are due to her horrible past

What a keeper!

She suggested that we wait till marriage before we have sex

LOL !

Should I be concerned about any of this?

You Betcha!

Does any of this sound weird?

I wouldnt have any clue where to start

[Saya]

Don't you think that you're moving too fast?
You've met her on the dating site two month ago and only been on two dates and already discussing that you two want to get marry early next year? Why are you rushing? What's the reason for wanting to get married so fast?
You've already got married and divorced, you don't want to make the same mistake by rushing into getting married and later on find out that it didn't work and end up getting divorced...
Get to her know better, go out with her more.
Also think about you're children since they're still young.

[Wakeup]

.. Two dates and "you're in love."
Really?

You don't even know who this woman is. For all you know she has dated from online and murdered everyone of the men who are silly enough to think they love someone after two dates and some "chat"

Take a step back and find out what she's really like before you say you love someone. Do not marry anyone whose mom thinks "you should get married soon" when her daughter has only been on two date with some stranger man. That is one screwed up mother... and remember ~ The apple never falls far from the tree.

.. So yea, I agree whole heartidly with Surf.

[IndiReloaded]

You are rebounding from your breakup. Don't do anything stupid.

Noone in their right mind talks marriage after only 2 dates with a stranger. And LOL, on the no sex yet. The fact she is already setting a date is crazy.

This story is a troll or crazy. Either way, not good.

[Ghost88]

Not a troll. My sister says the same thing. I do want to give it more time... I am going to suggest a long courting period. I don't want to rush things and make a mistake.
For some reason, none of you mentioned her age as being a concern? My parents see that as the biggest obstacle, which I do not agree. I think my biggest worry is the rush.
I don't feel it is a rebound, as my ex hurt me so bad I never want to go through that same experience again. I just want a normal life. I have set up a trip next month where we
will spend all weekend together. Before that, the best I can do is see her 1-2 times per week, due to work and distance. I am hoping I get a better understanding of her as a person
by spending more time with her. Thanks for your input!

[Cerby]

Not a troll. My sister says the same thing. I do want to give it more time... I am going to suggest a long courting period. I don't want to rush things and make a mistake.
For some reason, none of you mentioned her age as being a concern? My parents see that as the biggest obstacle, which I do not agree. I think my biggest worry is the rush.
I don't feel it is a rebound, as my ex hurt me so bad I never want to go through that same experience again. I just want a normal life. I have set up a trip next month where we
will spend all weekend together. Before that, the best I can do is see her 1-2 times per week, due to work and distance. I am hoping I get a better understanding of her as a person
by spending more time with her. Thanks for your input!

The only reason no one mentioned the age is because the rest of the story is so ridiculous that the age is the last on the list of things to go after. 2 dates? 2 months? Marriage? No sex yet? Come on man, you're 37 and obviously have relationship experience. Get your head out of your ass and open your eyes, there are red flags ALL OVER this situation. I believe on a personal level that at the VERY least 6 months is required to really gauge a relationship, but closer to a year is better. Until you've gone from "dating" to "committed" there is NO reason to talk about marriage.

Personally, my psycho alarm would have gone off and I would have bailed on this.

Oh, and just because I want to hear this part, how does her family really like you if you've only been on on 2 dates? Was one of them meeting the family? If so, meeting the family that early is another red flag. So we're up to 7 or 8 of them now.

[haxan]

You keep posting the same crap about women you meet online. The last one was a nice girl, but a pornstar, but you loved her. Grow some balls and answer some of your own questions. I can't believe any woman would find you interesting, constantly on here like a little girl asking what to do about someone you met online.

[Ghost88]

You keep posting the same crap about women you meet online. The last one was a nice girl, but a pornstar, but you loved her. Grow some balls and answer some of your own questions. I can't believe any woman would find you interesting, constantly on here like a little girl asking what to do about someone you met online.

Not gonna be defensive about it. Just want to view others' perspectives. That's the whole purpose of this forum. I mean, most of the people here already know the answer, but just wants reaffirmation. I'm not asking anything that I don't already know. I don't think there is anything wrong with meeting people online. I think as long as the people are genuine, there is no difference where they met. I will stick around and see how this pans out. She is really kind to me, so I have no reason to bail just because things appear strange. She is not meeting my kids till I am 100% positive she is good for them. Also, I think by spending more time together, she will reveal her deficits if in fact there is something to hide. I have no expectations. I enjoy her company. I can imagine spending my life with her due to attraction and common interests. Whether or not there is a motive to get married so soon remains to be seen.

[iamaninnocentma]

Ignore all these pessimists. When chandler and monica got together, everyone thought that was a bad idea. But they ended up married and adopted twins from some bird from conneticut(i think). or was it triplets, cant remember. Anyway, my point is, i fckn miss that show. wish they would do a reunion. Wonder if joey ever settled down. We ll never know. sigh

[Cat67]

I havent read your other posts but going on what you have said here I think its way too soon to talk about getting married, but if you are both that keen then why not wait a bit longer and get engaged but have a long engagement? That way if anything happens in the months to come and you or she wants to end it it would be a lot easier than ending a marriage. Just a thought.

[Boisdevie]

I havent read your other posts but going on what you have said here I think its way too soon to talk about getting married, but if you are both that keen then why not wait a bit longer and get engaged but have a long engagement? That way if anything happens in the months to come and you or she wants to end it it would be a lot easier than ending a marriage. Just a thought.

I think you have missed the essential point Cat67. The woman quite clearly is a loony and should not be approached. The OP is quite clearly a bit shall we say 'confused'.

[IndiReloaded]

Did you say you have kids? What happened to your wife/ex? I'd really like to hear her POV on your situation.

[oldskool83]

stop, think, breath repeat. here is your new goal, date 1 full year if things good then talk about marrige, anything before that a setting up for failure.

I know you hear of a DUI...you cant aford it. well ever hear od divorce...you cant aford that either.