Unbelievable!!

[Prime39]

I was dumped by a girl after a 4 year relationship! She told me "I need time to be me again. I need time to think " This left me insanely confused, begging, pleading, promising. And now after 2 months of sleepless nights thinking about what I did wrong. I see her with some other dude. Who she started seeing while she was with me! She dumped me 5 days before my birthday! Just wanted to give you all some advice, if you ever break up with someone tell them the truth! Put them out of their misery! I'm guessing she just wanted to keep me as a backup plan. Unbelievable!!

[surfhb]

I hear that!

[Elphaba]

Awww you poor thing! Its not just girls who do this, trust me, men do too! And I agree - I don't understand why people can't just be honest! Maybe she was trying to spare your feelings?
On the plus side, this girl obviously isn't worth your hurt - you will look back on this one day and see she did you a favour! Good luck and don't let the b****s get you down x

[Petit Papillon]

I was dumped by a girl after a 4 year relationship! She told me "I need time to be me again. I need time to think " This left me insanely confused, begging, pleading, promising. And now after 2 months of sleepless nights thinking about what I did wrong. I see her with some other dude. Who she started seeing while she was with me! She dumped me 5 days before my birthday! Just wanted to give you all some advice, if you ever break up with someone tell them the truth! Put them out of their misery! I'm guessing she just wanted to keep me as a backup plan. Unbelievable!!

I think there was kind of routine in your relationship and it was a time to take it to the next level. You didn't and she got bored with it (hence this other guy). It should be a lesson for you, relationships need actions, no one wants to be bored for a long time. Why people cheat? They cheat, cause there is something missing in their relationship.

[Prime39]

I feel like telling her off! I feel like calling her every name in the book! I have this strong desire to really let her have it. In our relationship I never cussed her out or anything close to it. I know it's probably the wrong thing to do, but I might feel better. Should I do it?

[IndiReloaded]

She cheated on you; really, who wants to be with someone who would do that? Its hurts, yes, but think about it as if you heard this from a friend: you'd tell them they dodged a bullet, right?

Chin up, you'll do better.

[adabellissima]

I'm very sorry to hear that. I know how you feel as been there couple years ago. It was painful like hell but one thing became true: I needed time to go through this however started having trust issues. You probably feel betrayed and angry now- just remember: 'what goes round, comes round'

[boobaa]

I think there was kind of routine in your relationship and it was a time to take it to the next level. You didn't and she got bored with it (hence this other guy). It should be a lesson for you, relationships need actions, no one wants to be bored for a long time. Why people cheat? They cheat, cause there is something missing in their relationship.

Some people like routine. And instead of cheating, one should simply tell whats wrong.
This is just stupid. If you need to conciously boost your relationship, it is clearly stressful and should be avoided. Sad thing about it is that you will never know if its going to work or not. All this time wasted, only to break up and start all over again.

Somehow I find that these things are easier for women, bechause usually it is the man who needs to keep up, boost the relationship, do all the work, etc. At least thats what media puts in our mind. Women mostly only need to be there.

[Prime39]

Boobaa, you hit the nail right on the head! This is exactly what happened! I had true genuine love for her, and would have been happy to work on things if she ever even gave me a chance. There was no communication or attempt to stay committed to a good relationship! It's so true that women like this (not all women) stay as long as you're wining, dining and entertaining them! And as soon as the show become a routine she up and leaves for a new show. And sometimes new isn't always better in the long run. And you're right about the media! It's impossible to be your self as a man now! We as men need to live up to this ridiculous example of a man portrayed in these romance movie's! It's sad because I believe alot of women end up old and single because they say there are no good men out there. When in reality, they need to reevaluate what a good man really is!

Ps. Thanks to all of you for your support! This Site is tremendously helpful to people like me going through the worst moments in life. And I will do my part to help others on here as well.

[caligirl23]

Cussing her out might make you feel better, but you run the risk of coming across like a crazy person and will just further reiterate to her that she made the right decision to leave. However, I am all for letting somebody have it and have done it before in the past and it did indeed feel great!! I say go for it!

[HeartIsAching]

I think there was kind of routine in your relationship and it was a time to take it to the next level. You didn't and she got bored with it (hence this other guy). It should be a lesson for you, relationships need actions, no one wants to be bored for a long time. Why people cheat? They cheat, cause there is something missing in their relationship.

Yeah, that's it. Blame him for her cheating. Brilliant.

[IndiReloaded]

I think PPs point is that cheating never happens in a vacuum. I agree. That doesn't make it right but relationships rarely fail b/c of one partner alone. Still, the better way is to leave a bad relationship before jumping into another. That assumes, however, that the cheater actually wants to end their primary relationship. Sometimes they don't, they just want the extra on the side.

[HeartIsAching]

I think PPs point is that cheating never happens in a vacuum. I agree. That doesn't make it right but relationships rarely fail b/c of one partner alone. Still, the better way is to leave a bad relationship before jumping into another. That assumes, however, that the cheater actually wants to end their primary relationship. Sometimes they don't, they just want the extra on the side.

Yes it does. It has absolutely nothing to do with the one who's cheated on. Trust me I know, I was that guy.

[Petit Papillon]

Some people like routine. And instead of cheating, one should simply tell whats wrong.
This is just stupid. If you need to conciously boost your relationship, it is clearly stressful and should be avoided. Sad thing about it is that you will never know if its going to work or not. All this time wasted, only to break up and start all over again.

Somehow I find that these things are easier for women, bechause usually it is the man who needs to keep up, boost the relationship, do all the work, etc. At least thats what media puts in our mind. Women mostly only need to be there.

What I meant was that people need to take the next level at some point. You cannot be girlfriend/boyfriend forever at certain age. I understand when you are 15, but they are adults (I assume) so he could add some sparkle by at least giving her a sign that he wants to marry her. Not some talking about it, but asking her to marry him or whatever. Many people need that change in the relationship. I know two examples of when things were too long at one stage, the cheating happend. One couple tried to fix it and got married after it (still married few years after - dont think they will divorce any time soon), for the other couple was too late, and the person who cheated, married with the next partner pretty soon after (not with the partner in crime ). So this is what I mean. You can play a girlfriend boyfriend when you are a teenager. People change at their 20's. Some don't have to get married, but you often see them having a child, which could also imply that they needed a change. If you think you can stay in a boring relationship, then so be it. This girl obviously didn't want to. I'm sure she won't cheat on a guy who will be more "pronounced".

[Petit Papillon]

Yeah, that's it. Blame him for her cheating. Brilliant.

Yeah, we should at best look up to you, right mr. perfect? Cheating happens and it doesn't happen without a reason. People don't go and cheat when they are in a happy couple. Why would they? She didn't cheat on him once, it was repeatedly, which means she did it for a reason.