What's this guy's deal? Why did he lose interest right away?

[greentea11]

I met a guy who works at a restaurant. It was last year and I noticed he acted like he liked me. He smiled a lot and acted shy. Once he was suppose to hand me a drink but he just stood there smiling at me and his friend who worked with him laughed and handed it to me instead. His friend always acts like he knows something too. So I had not been there for about 6 months and a couple months ago I went back. I saw him again and he seemed really happy to see me. He said he remembered me and that I had not been there in awhile. It wasn't like I was a regular who saw him a lot. But he remembered me anyway. So since then we have talked a little here and there whenever I would go there. He always acted happy to see me and said hi to me a lot, even twice in one visit.

He had learned my name from my mom but then the next time I went in he asked me what my name was again and said his name again. I told him I remembered his name and I think he could tell I was kinda sad he forgot my name. Maybe he did or maybe he was nervous or wanted to make sure he had it right. So long story short I end up giving him my number after he said we should hang out. He acted like he really wanted to hang out with me, he even said I should come by on one of his breaks. That was two weeks ago. We've only texted a few times. At first he seemed interested in his texts. He texted me that day and said he was happy I came in that day. But he always has long periods of time between answering me. I know he could be busy and I do that too. But he also just kinda drops the conversation and I don't hear from him anymore. I did not hear from him for over a week after I gave him my number so I texted him and we talked a little and then I kinda suggested seeing a movie and he asked me if I wanted to go see this one movie and I said it looked good. Then he never texted me back. The reason this is so confusing is because the way he acts in person is like he really really likes me and we did not talk enough through text for me to say something to turn him off. So what's his deal? Why does it seem like I am the only one trying to communicate? He doesnt seem like a player at all, he actually seems kinda dorky and shy. So should I just move on? Is he not interested anymore? He said he works a lot but I know that when I really like someone I make an effort. Even just a "Hey, how are you?". The people he works with all act like they know he likes me. I want to say "What did I do?" but I know I didn't do anything wrong. So is he just weird and changed his mind just like that?

[smackie9]

Be confident and call him out on it. Just say "Hey I thought you were into me, so what's up? Don't you want to go out sometime? or are you just pulling my chain? ;-)

[oldskool83]

yeah id say the same thing either man up or not. not you i mean him. anytime i see a girl sugesting things i know shes liking sum1. unless he is seeing sum1 else or has a bf named pablo.

[greentea11]

Yeah, sometimes I feel like saying that but then I feel like I'd sound needy or a jerk. I feel like just not texting him again. I already gave the effort and it should be his turn to do the same. If he never texts me again and I see him at his work it might be awkward but I'll just act fine. If he brings it up I'll be honest and say "Well, you never texted me." My sister said she thinks he might be forgetful but I'm not sure. He did forget my name(maybe) and he also could not remember if he broke something I had lent him. I know he knew he broke it but he said "I'm not sure if I broke it, do you remember if it was broken before?" I knew it wasn't but I acted like I didn't remember and I didn't get mad. But the way it was broken suggests he would have known he did it. So it's rude that he can't just say "I'm sorry I broke it". Also, the fact that he remembered me from 6 months ago and also remembered what I ordered a month ago says that he probably doesn't have a bad memory. So I kinda feel like he's weird, maybe he wants something but then when he has it he just loses interest.

[Cerby]

Did you actually say "yes" when he asked you to the movie or just provide a vague response?

[greentea11]

Did you actually say "yes" when he asked you to the movie or just provide a vague response?

I actually have thought about that and it's kinda tricky. The conversation went something like this

me: Have you seen that movie the dictator? I've been wanting to go see it.

Him: no, not yet. You wanna see that Adam Sandler movie?

me: that looks good. probably better than his last movie.

Then nothing. He never texted me after that. I wasn't sure if he was asking me if I wanted to go see it with him or just in general. I wasn't sure because of the way he had been acting, he hadn't been acting like he wanted to hang out and I think I have been making it obvious that I want to get to know him. So I don't know what to do except put the ball in his court. If he was asking me to go with him, my reply wasn't a rejection. If I was him I would have kept the conversation going and maybe say "We should go".

[RdHrshyKss]

yeah, this guy sounds pretty weird. i would do what others have suggested...just ask him straight out if he was serious about wanting to go out sometime. get it out in the open so that he can't keep dragging you along. if he doesn't respond or goes back to being all weird again, i'd just move onto the next guy.

[greentea11]

yeah, this guy sounds pretty weird. i would do what others have suggested...just ask him straight out if he was serious about wanting to go out sometime. get it out in the open so that he can't keep dragging you along. if he doesn't respond or goes back to being all weird again, i'd just move onto the next guy.

Do you think it's weird that when I gave him my number and he was putting it in his phone he asked me what my last name was and where I live? I was a little shocked he asked me and kinda bluntly. Then about an hour later he texted me and asked how to spell my first name.

[smackie9]

Who said a guy have to be the one to ask for a bloody date? It's not the 1950's, women want equality? well here is your opportunity. Just ask him out yourself!

[greentea11]

Who said a guy have to be the one to ask for a bloody date? It's not the 1950's, women want equality? well here is your opportunity. Just ask him out yourself!

Obviously I was doing that, but then he dropped the conversation.

[smackie9]

What part of that conversation did you say "hey, I would like to go see a movies with you. How about this Saturday?"

[celestina]

If he brings it up I'll be honest and say "Well, you never texted me."

Nope, don't ever EVER say that to a guy =) Don't act like you were waiting on him! That's a turn-off.

My sister said she thinks he might be forgetful but I'm not sure. He did forget my name(maybe) and he also could not remember if he broke something I had lent him. I know he knew he broke it but he said "I'm not sure if I broke it, do you remember if it was broken before?" I knew it wasn't but I acted like I didn't remember and I didn't get mad. But the way it was broken suggests he would have known he did it. So it's rude that he can't just say "I'm sorry I broke it". Also, the fact that he remembered me from 6 months ago and also remembered what I ordered a month ago says that he probably doesn't have a bad memory. So I kinda feel like he's weird, maybe he wants something but then when he has it he just loses interest.

Not dating yet and already having issues about him not admitting his fault? Hah! Walk away. NOW.

Why do you like him anyway? He is "dorky" and the only reason you seem to be into him, is because he seemed to be interested in you in the first place. And you may find it flattering that people think he's interested in you but I think this could be something that actually bothers him and embarasses him; no one likes their feelings (or lack thereof) made fun of, or ambiguously displayed for them. Yup, third party opinions will always exert an influence on anyone, especially a dork. But then again that could be all wrong, I don't know these people.

Nevertheless, next time, if/when you guys text again, YOU should be the one to drop the conversation just like that, because you're a busy gal who has better things to do than just sit there and wait for him to man up. This is a golden rule when it comes to texting a new guy and it makes him remember you.

And since you say this guy is the shy/dorky kind, maybe he's just really lazy when it comes to dating and not used to asking girls out. In that case, do what everybody here suggested you to do: be blunt and ask him out. He's the idiot if he acts all interested in you and then backs out for no apparent reason once he has a shot with you!

[greentea11]

What part of that conversation did you say "hey, I would like to go see a movies with you. How about this Saturday?"

I was getting there. I started the conversation and it was obvious I was wanting to go with him.

[greentea11]

Nope, don't ever EVER say that to a guy =) Don't act like you were waiting on him! That's a turn-off.



Not dating yet and already having issues about him not admitting his fault? Hah! Walk away. NOW.

Why do you like him anyway? He is "dorky" and the only reason you seem to be into him, is because he seemed to be interested in you in the first place. And you may find it flattering that people think he's interested in you but I think this could be something that actually bothers him and embarasses him; no one likes their feelings (or lack thereof) made fun of, or ambiguously displayed for them. Yup, third party opinions will always exert an influence on anyone, especially a dork. But then again that could be all wrong, I don't know these people.

Nevertheless, next time, if/when you guys text again, YOU should be the one to drop the conversation just like that, because you're a busy gal who has better things to do than just sit there and wait for him to man up. This is a golden rule when it comes to texting a new guy and it makes him remember you.

And since you say this guy is the shy/dorky kind, maybe he's just really lazy when it comes to dating and not used to asking girls out. In that case, do what everybody here suggested you to do: be blunt and ask him out. He's the idiot if he acts all interested in you and then backs out for no apparent reason once he has a shot with you!

I would only say that if he asks what happened. Then I would be honest and say "I texted you a couple times, but you never really texted me back." I do like him. I'm not the type who just dates anyone. I think he seems like a very nice person. I'm into sweet guys, so he is my type. But rudeness is not my thing, I hate how people are rude to each other through computers or phones because they feel they can get away with it. So it bothers me that he didn't remember he broke something and then it bothers me that he drops conversations. I only brought up his dorkiness to say that I don't think he is the type to be a player and maybe that would explain his aloofness. I would describe myself as shy and dorky. I don't think his friends are teasing him because it seems like he told them himself. Actually once I ran into him at a store. It was right after I saw him at his work. This was before we ever talked, it was last year. I saw him across the store looking at me and then he told his friend who was standing next to him something because the guy looked over at me. His friends never act jerky, I think they just smile at me more because they know we like each other. I think they seem happy for him and they approve. They seem pretty mature about it. Also, he said stuff in front of them so I don't think he's afraid of them hearing or wants to keep it a secret. Maybe I'll wait awhile and see if I feel like texting him again. I just don't want to waste my time on someone who doesn't think I'm that special. I thought he seemed special, so it should be an equal interest. I'd rather be alone than be with someone who is just being with me to kill time. Life is too short to give anything to someone like that.

[smackie9]

I was getting there. I started the conversation and it was obvious I was wanting to go with him.

Possibly it was the tone of your response that seemed put off-ish. "that looks good. probably better than his last movie."

He may would have responded better to: "Oh Adam Sandler is so funny! I would totally be into seeing that with you....Saturday is good for me or what night is better for you?" <3