Breakup talk tomm!!! Nervous! Help!

[hope555]

Hi everyone!
My bf, who I've been dating for 8 months now, told me he wants to have dinner tomm. He said we need to talk, and basically we need to discuss if we should go on dating or not. I asked him for a slight preview of what we are going to talk about, and I can't say I'm surprised.

My bf has been VERY busy the last 2 months, working 10-12 hours a day, 7 days a week. So we basically have date nights maybe once every two weeks. I've sort of told him that i wasn't very happy with this situation. Usually, I get angry, but when I see him, we fight for a bit, but then I forget about it and we have a good time. But then the cycle starts all over again. I can see how this can get exhausting

His reason for wanting to breakup is that he knows he's an amazing bf, but he's being sup-par right now, and hates it. I jokingly tell him "do you even know what bfs and gfs do..they go for movies and dinners and hold hands etc." He got upset at that, and realized that he should be giving me these things, but just cannot handle it right now. And he knows after this busy streak, he's going to get 10 times busier from sept with work and doing his mba. And I know these are not excuses. He is legitimately very busy, and very focused on his career.

I am a caring gf he says. Last week, I cooked him dinner twice and made him cupcakes just so he wouldn't have to stress about cooking and his busy work schedule for a bit. He says he feels VERY bad and guilty for how he treats me, and its not who he is. He wants us to be best friends while he takes care of business...then he can date me and treat me the way he knows he can treat a girl. I work with him, so even if we breakup, I would have to see him everyday.

Anyway, what I'm looking for advice on is, have other people heard these sort of reasons for wanting to take a break? Are they legitimate reasons? On what conditions would you wait around for an excessively busy bf??

Any insight on this tricky situation would help.

Thank you in advance

Hope

[iamaninnocentma]

you have to be careful when taking a "break" from a relationship. i know its not the same circumstances, but look what happened to ross and rachel. Of course, you dont have the whole mark thing to worry about. just make sure he doesnt pump a stripper. If he does, tell him to be careful that gunther doesnt find out, coz hes a fckn grass.lol

[openhearted]

It is really hard to be stuck in a viscious circle of happiness and unhappiness. I have heard these reasons before and they could be legitimate. You know him better than I do so think about his personality and figure out if he's the kind of person that would use these reasons as an excuse to break up or if he being honest and these reasons are really eating at his conscience and making him feel guilty for unintentionally disregarding you.
Discuss with him if taking a "break" means putting your relationshion hold or if it means terminating the relationship all together. If it means putting it on hold and you are okay with the prospect of seeing him everyday at work and remaining close without being in a relationship until the timing is better for you both then I would support that decision. If it means terminating the relationship for good then I would suggest reexamining whether or not you're willing to put up with the not so good times right now for the return of the better times later.....and he would have to be willing to do that as well. If you decide to put the relationship on hold or terminate it, try and resist the urge of making the mistake that most of us women make (myself not excluded) by sleeping with him (if the two of you do that) because it will only make you feel worse about not being in a committed relationship with him. Wait to resume (or begin) that until he is ready for a commitment again and it will mean much more and strenghten the relationship for you.
Best of luck

[smackie9]

There's no point in putting your life on hold for someone. When he is done with getting his education and career going, he will have even less time and more excuses. It could be years from now before he could ever provide you a decent relationship. You are footling yourself thinking that "taking a break" is the answer. All you are doing is denying yourself the opportunity to met someone who's life is more suitable. You have expectations that cannot be fulfilled so it's time to move on. You don't need to get out of a relationship because it's turned bad, you can leave because it's just not working for you.