25 year old feeling like I'm in middle school again! haha

[inflorescence]

I am disgustingly in love with a man, but I haven't told him... we originally dated 12 years ago when we were 13-14. We have stayed in contact on and off since. He is a gentlemen, intelligent, thoughtful, sweet, athletic, sexy and the list goes on and on. We have a million things in common, we can talk for hours, or be in each others company and not have to say a word. We both are athletic, driven and independent with similar beliefs, morals etc.. the great thing is we already know each others family. We live half way across the country from where we use to grow up so it's neat we ended up in the same area. Since reconnecting in December after not talking for a few years we now talk everyday, (he is the one who initiates it) and it's several times a day. He said in January he thought I was more invested then he was and maybe we shouldn't talk because he didn't want to hurt me, and I responded "I'm not looking for a relationship"...

WHY did I say that?! ... I guess I would rather have him in my life then not at all.

Now I am confused because a lot of time has gone by and we have spent a lot of time together, he treats me to dinners, I meet his friends, we go for runs, outings etc.... well finally had sex.. after all these years of liking each other(the best I ever had in my life, I have never felt so connected to someone.. i'm getting shivers thinking about it.) Since then he talks to me even more! (So it's not like he was using me for sex) And I'm not being used solely as a booty call because he will plan dates out that dont' end with us going to each others place.

Without me bringing up dating, partners etc... he mentioned that I was the only person he was having sex with. Is this his indirect way of saying he wants/is dating me exclusively?


I don't know if I should tell him I like him because I don't want him to throw the "I knew you were more into me" and then stop talking to me... I know he does like me but I don't know what to do.(definately won't drop the Love bomb on him, because that is a for sure way to make him run..) I want to date him, honestly I could see myself spending the rest of my life with him... because despite having dated a few men for years at a time ( I've been in 3 relationships over 2 years each) I still always thought about him.

I feel like a 13 year old again with having to ask these stupid questions... every man up to this point begs/chases me to date... I would always play my own game not having to worry or asking for relationship advice and now I feel powerless in this decision and he's the most important one ...

Perspective would be fantastic!!! Stop seeing/talking to him? Just tell him how I feel? Or continue on this path and whatever happens, happens?

[smackie9]

Communication! Stop acting you are 13 and act like an adult. If you want a relationship, now that you have been reacquainted, then you have to ask him about being exclusive. Don't say you are falling in love or any of that, it might make things awkward if he isn't quite there yet. Just say that you feel that this feels right to go to the next level. If he doesn't agree that things are heading that way, then close those legs and walk away.

[Cerby]

Definitely don't just continue on this path, because whatever happens will be that he will find someone he ACTUALLY wants to date and you'll have your heart smashed. He has slept with you without having to worry about a relationship, so right now you're in a FWB situation, whether you like it or not.

If you don't ask him what he wants, then you're making a mistake. Once you slept together, that was the time to ask him what it really meant. If he said "one time thing" then your hope is pretty much dashed.

Like Smackie said, you're not 13, you're 25. Communicate to get what you want.

[guesswhoami]

I totally agree with smackie9, guess you should act like an adult by saying that you want a serious relatioship I think he might understand regarding your age.

[justinbran1]

totally agree with smackie9 and cerby. stop behaving like a child. Go and have a talk. if you will not talk its already a big NO. Try it once may be you would change it to YES. All the best.


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[smackie9]

Stop spamming!!

[haxan]

From a man's pov, heed is original statement for now. You're more into it than him.

[Esther52]

Thanks for your post.

[Cerulean.]

Just straight up ask so you can see whether it's something you both can continue officially or for you to move on. I'm rooting for ya. Keep us updated and good luck.

[Esther52]

Thanks for your post.

[inflorescence]

Esther52 why are you spamming my post? lol

Thanks for all the advice, I'm putting on my big girl panties and talking about it. I've never been afraid with anyone else to ask where I stand.. and I realize now it might because I never really cared about any ones opinion as much as his. I'm not use to rejection, nor would I care if I was before by other men... but with him, I care A LOT. I'll let you know how it goes..

[smackie9]

Great! You go girl!

[JamesWS]

Thanks for your post.