Need Outside Perspective

[killersfan22]

Hello all!

I am writing because I am unfortunately on the vomit-inducing roller coaster that is 'talking to an ex'! If I may, I would like to share my tale in exchange for frank responses from you completely sane outsiders.

So

My past with this ex spans about 2 years. Essentially, we met in college, dated for 6 months, and ultimately broke up because of her attachment to her ex(s). But then! She she kept texting after about how sad she was and how she wished she had given it a real chance with me. About 1 year later, after I instituted the 'no contact' rule, she started called me again with the whole "I made a huge mistake" speech. What was missing from this speech however, were follow-up actions. She was actually still speaking with one of the 2 exs she was all wrapped up in while dating me. Here's where it gets weird. This 'ex' of hers was 'just staying on her couch' while she looked for a new job. Fine. And why couldn't we see each other, I wondered? Her response was that she didn't want it to turn into a big thing, meaning it would piss off the ex. I found that extremely strange. Well nothing changed, although she claimed it would, and a few months later, after more of my ignoring her, she finally admitted they were dating. That was it. I cut her off for good. That was last year.

Fast forward to this April - she texts that 'It's done.' She had been sharing an apartment with the ex-turned-girfriend-again but they finally ended it. So the girl moved out, and my ex will be moving out at end of month. At first, she was doing the whole 'I'm so sorry' thing, and making me think she had actually changed. But that quickly petted out, and we are back to a text-only basis. I even told her I am leaving for 3 months at the end of May, and nothing. She has made no effort to see me or incorporate me into her life. I kind of brought this up, and she said that her ex was still moving things out of the apartment periodically, and she 'didn't want things to be messy'. I can't help but want to call 'bullshit' on that. Did I say that she told me she 'thought about me every single day for the past year'? She did.

It all feels like a bad rerun. She'll say she doesn't want to rush into anything, but she still talks to the girl she was living with on fb but not me. She still goes out all the time but never tries to see me. I don't want to jump into a relationship either, but am I wrong from wanting a bit of effort from her? I don't want to go away with this hanging over my head. Should I say something, or act like it doesn't exist?

[Wakeup]

Yes you're wrong for wanting a bit of effort from someone that doesn't even value you but just wants to make sure she can "pull" you whenever she's between ex's... which you've proved to her, she can.

Give it up.. you sound desperate and sad to even be talking to her when you left her for the same things she's still subjecting you to. blech!