tough spot

[qwerqwer]

I am married. We got married after my son was born in 2004. I now have 4 children, ages 8, 4, 2, and 2 months. We had been dating since 2001. I had an affair in 2009. It blewup in 2010 after it was already over. The woman got divorced and started dating someone else. I am still married. My wife has not wanted me since it happened. I'm not sure she wanted me before. It felt like we both got married because of the first child. I believe she had a retaliatory affair in 2010-2011 but did not have proof. We fight and bicker constantly. She can't forgive me and can't move on. I also don't trust her. I have wanted to reform and try to make things work out, go to marriage counseling, etc. She has not been willing. I have not been able to concentrate at work. Recently, I've been having contact with the woman from 2009, although I have otherwise been faithful. She had always shown me more love and appreciation, and I believe I still love her. She has her own issues also, though, baggage and a history of unfaithfulness. I have been craving affection since my wife has been rejecting me in anger since 2010. I think I could grow to love my wife again, but she has rejected me a lot. My wife has now gone to see a lawyer and tells me to just move on. It seems insane to me to get divorced with four kids, a 2 month old. We also take care of her 76 year old mother and nephew. But if my wife is going to leave me, I want to be with the woman potentially. I would have preferred to work things out with my wife, for the kids sake. Finances are also an issue. I am making much less $ this year, we are short selling our house. Maybe I should cut my losses if this marriage is not going to work out? We both seem to be looking for excuses, or an escape and to be able to blame the other. Not sure what to do now.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You're right. Cut your losses and move on. I think you should start seeing the woman from 09 for the physical release, but you should see other women too so you don't get too attached to her.