can a cheater really change?

[arwynalstad]

I'm a female and I recently broke up with my bf. We've been together for two years and i caught him cheating last year. he chatted with a girl whom he used to like telling her that she's the one he wants to marry and that he really loves her. he also told her that she could have him anytime. I almost died of heart ache when I learned about this. He did not tell me directly but he suddenly said sorry for his actions and i did not have a single clue about what's happening at that time so i decided to check his fb msgs and read it.

it has been a year since that happened i tried forgiving him let him give a chance and he really did everything he can to gain my trust he texts me everyday, call me after work, he only goes out with me and never with his friends. but my trust was recently breached again when i accidentally saw him stalking some girl in fb and he even chatted with her. their conversation was mundane he was just trying to sell his membership at a certain gym bec he couldn't afford it anymore. after being cheated once, this recent event took a toll on my nerve. ive been making petty fights with him, and i couldn't stand being with him anymore. he cried in front of me when i told him that i can't be with him anymore. i just couldn't get myself to trust again no matter how much he changed. he tolerated the petty fights i made with him despite his very stressful job, but somehow it felt like love isn't enough and that i've tolerated so much already.

[Love Gururu]

Hi, I read your post and I understand your insecurity and pain.

Everyone makes mistakes. From your post, you mentioned that he was the person who felt sorry for his actions and apologised, not because he was caught. Based on that, I personally believe he deserved another chance, and that you are very special to him.

Yes, his actions hurt you. You have to determine whether you are able to put that behind you. No one can promise you that your partner will never hurt you nor cheat on you. Not even if it is someone who never has the history of cheating. Every relationship need to be built on love and trust. Communication is really the key. Talk to him, tell him how you feel, feedback to him and work out how both of you can progress in the relationship.

End of day, it is a decision you have to make. I wish you well

Cheers,
Love Gururu
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[Jason250]

Thanks for your post

[Jason278]

much appreciated