Omg help me with my relationship

[leegurl1994]

okay ive been with my bf for 10 months now. his a christian and im not(does not mean i dont believe in god). OKay out of a sudden he acting differently and when i asked him about it he says he wants to be a christian as best as he can. so i said okay. then he said your not suppose to be with someone whos not in the same religion. so that confused me and i asked him does he want to be with me and all he said yes then he said, he cant be around with non christian cause his afraid he'll be tempted in sin. she also believes that if your not christian you'll go to hell. i have nth against christianity its just he was never like this. and im in completely lost.. i dont know what to do.

help..
im not sad that this is hurting our relationship....im scared that he'll continue like this...its not like him.

i have nothing against in fact i support him in what he chooses.... but is he going a bit over board?.... should we talk about it?

no he doesnt like anyone else cause all the girls in church are his cousins. and he doesnt like anyone else... its just that i feel that his taking his religion so seriously.... i wanted to leave him but he begged me to stay.

[dem862]

Religion is one of those things that some people take very seriously. It is never a good plan to expect somebody else to change. It is usually easier to change oneself. So what is more important to you? Being with this guy or being a non-Christian. If this is a point of contention now, it will likely only get worse. If he is inflexible in his religious tolerance, he is likely to be inflexible in other areas as well. You will eventually need to have a heart-to-heart talk with him and find out if there is any future to your relationship before you invest more time in it.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Break up with him, and walk away when he starts begging. This will only get worse and he will become more and more judgmental as time goes on. Get out now. Tell him that his religious views are too much for you and you want to call it off.

[TeeJay19]

The change in behaviour is probably due to the fact that you guys are getting a little more serious. Maybe he's starting to see a future with you and he's always invisioned himself with a Christian girl so he's panicking a little bit.

The way I see it you have two options: Either adopt his beliefs and continue the relationship or end it and find someone who's beliefs are more in line with yours. Personally I think you should end it. Even if you "adopt" Christianity you'll never really be a true Christian. If those were your beliefs you'd be a Christian already. You'd likely both be much happier in the long run if you were with people with similar beliefs and religious views. I'm not saying people from different religions can't be together, but it's certainly easier if your values and beliefs are the same.

[Dakini1]

I agree a lot with what TJ said. It could also be that some things came up at his church, or we're said by his relatives, and he's trying to think them through. It could just blow over once he has worked himself out, but if it keeps continuing i would be concerned. I don't think adopting christianity is really the right way to go but I know someone who did and has been very happy in his relationship for the past 25 years

[HeartIsAching]

What's going on here is that your BF is being manipulative and passive-aggressively trying to force you to do what he wants - without bothering to communicate his wishes. He'll just keep at you and keep at you until you do what he wants.

You need to walk away, unless you're ok with that.

[leegurl1994]

Hey everyone thanks for you advise,

but right now is an update, i wanted to leave and i thought that it would make him happy but he asked me to stay. i know if i convert id be doing it for the wrong reason but even if i do convert its for myself and no one elses. but right now he says he wants me again so i got hooked...(like a master teasing a dog with food, im the dog).... he says he loves me and all, but everything changed about. his personality, thinking and everything. his a apostolic pentecostal christian (just letting you guys know), he used to be so sure about everything in our future together but now he says he cant tell the future his not psychic.his actual words are "Cuz no one can be sure of anything its not possible, thats like saying your psychic". he turned so cold towards his not the person i fell in love with, i want that person back so badly, its killing me inside. i even ask for gods help, but nth helps. even though im with him i feel like i lost that person i love and my heart has a whole that cant ever be filled. it makes me so depressed and confused. i know that person i love is still there, and i have nth against his religion, its just that he let that came between us, our happiness. everything is lost?. hmmm....i need help....

[vashti]

He's not "bad" because he believes in something other than what you do, and he is right: if you are a TRUE believer,you are not going to want the mother of your future children to end up in Hell.

He needs to be with someone who shares his beliefs, and you need to be more careful about where you invest your emotions.

For the record, I am not a Christian, but I do not see the value in demonizing people who are.

[leegurl1994]

im not saying that its bad for him... i support him completely, and i do believe in god(but im not baptise as christian)... but i do believe in god... its just that there was a sudden change of personality in him... thats what dont understand

from a kind loving caring boyfriend to a cold hurtful person.

[Wakeup]

i wanted to leave him but he begged me to stay.

So what? You are not who he wants you to be so he resents you for it and that is why he is a

cold hurtful person.

towards you.

Get out of this now while you still have a sense of yourself and your self-esteem in in tact enough so that you don't just become an extention of him instead of your own person.

You two are NOT compatible. People who are not compatible in fundamental beliefs whether they be religious beliefs or otherwise rarely stay together for long and one or the other, or both end up losing their joy by trying to fit a round peg into a square hole.

People leave people they still love everyday when they are smart enough to know that you need more than just your love to sustain a happy, healthy and satisfying union together. How will you two last the test of time with this wedge you have sitting between the two of you?