Hi all, im 25 year old male and have been with my g/f for around 8 months. She is 20 and she has been in past relationships before, however this was my first serious relationship. Over all the time that we have been together I have had an amazing time on the whole, we have great chats, enjoy the same things, have the same humour, she tells me she loves me and i do her and generally get on like a house on fire.
During our time together I have always worried and still do that she does not feel as strongly about me as i do her, for instance if I pick her up and she seems like she doesn't want to talk I start thinking I must of upset her, to not waffle on in a nut shell sometime I feel she does not make as much effort in our relationship as me and as a result this makes me feel very low about things. I am now starting to feel that the problem might be my insecurity/low-self esteem. For instance if she doesnt text me back within 3 hours or so it really bugs me, or if she doesn't instigate us seeing each other I think see doesn't want to see me......Recently we spent the week together (normally live apart, but see each other 3-4 times a week) during this week she started a new job, was very stressed because in hindsight she had a lot on....this lead to her giving me very little attention and I took this badly in honesty and I realise that I was wrong, eventually it came to a head on friday when we were both out and drunk and I confronted her saying she did not make me feel great about us etc etc........
Now when we woke up in the morning I thought alot about what had happened and i feel really bad, I now realise that I am insecure in someways about my relationship. She came to see me last night and I decided to write her a letter telling her what she ment to me and what I thought was the problem ' my insecurity'. we chatted and she told me she loves me and i did her, we agreed that the past week had not been good and I explained i think that im insecure, she agreed. It was a pleasent chat, however I did ask her how she felt and she explained that she still loves me but she is very annoyed and wasn't really looking forward to seeing me that night.....to being with I took this as a sign we would break up (my insecureness) however now I feel this is just me insecureness, the simple fact she is willing to work with me and get us back to being great again is good and she still loves me. I think the root of my problem is that I see my self sub conciously in a very bad way, although I could list 20 good things about me I feel my subconcious thought chain is always negative. Has anyone else been in this situation, how can I stop worrying and start enjoying the great times we have? How can I start realising she does love me and that she might just not show it as much? Am I being like this because if I don't feel like she makes me feel like the most important thing in her life it makes me sad? Any advice would be great, I know I love this girl (although at times my insecureness makes me think she is not worth the time becasue she doesnt care) and I know she loves me, I need to stop trying to control? Thanks for reading