Ex-gf, who has a new bf, starts making contact with me again

[appletango]

I'm not really sure what to make of this, so i thought i'd see what other peoples opinions are.

We broke up last June. It wasn't a nasty breakup so we agreed we'd try and remain friends. From around July-December we still saw each other now and then (bad idea in hindsight).

In Jan she told me she was seeing someone else, so i did the right thing and stopped all contact. We should have done this sooner, i know.

A couple of weeks ago she messaged me on facebook. Just small talk, nothing serious. She's now also started texting me every other day or so. Again, just small talk.

The thing i don't really get is that she's definitely still seeing someone new. At first i thought that maybe things hadn't worked out for her with this guy, so she contacted me for a bit of attention.

A few days ago there was a work night out which i knew she was going to (we used to work together so some of our friends are in the same social circle). She texted me asking if i'm going. I replied saying yes, and asked her if shes going with her new fella. She replied saying "Yep, and he's gonna go down like a lead balloon". I didn't end up going on the night out by the way.

If i was this guy, and found out she said that, i'd be pretty pissed off. And i wouldn't be too happy she was texting her ex-bf too. So, why is she?

Attention? Maybe to see if she still has a 'hold' over me? I don't mind her texting me (i wouldn't be able to handle seeing her in person though) but i really can't work out why she is. I would've thought she wouldn't still be in contact with me as surely it'd risk her current relationship.

Thanks for reading.

[confusius]

I haven't read the whole, but me being a kinda similar situation, she never contacts me but always good to me, don't too excited about it. Take it easy and above all, you need to make sure that your feelings for her are neutral because otherwise nothing good will come out of it.

Peace

[SonnyMarie]

From my own experience, the only reason I ever texted my ex was because I still had feelings for him. Seems to me that she somewhat likes her new guy but also misses certain things about you. Is her small talk developing into more intimate conversation( not like sexting but more than just a what's up, how's your day kinda thing), and wanting you to hang out, because if so then yeah she basically misses you.

[haxan]

She sounds like a real prize (joking). Of course, she just wants a security blanket while she gets rid of the guy she's been sleeping with. Do yourself a favor and don't let it be you.

[portlandrocks]

honest reaction: she sounds bored with her new BF. That doesn't mean she has feelings for you, it just seems like she doesn't really have feelings for him. I am with you though, if I was that guy I would be done!

[HeartIsAching]

She enjoys the attention you give her, and enjoys believing that she's still got you on the hook. She thinks she could get you back any time she wants... it's an ego boost.

I guarantee that if you cut off all contact with her again, she'll step up the efforts to re-engage you. Don't fall for it.

[Wakeup]

She enjoys the attention you give her, and enjoys believing that she's still got you on the hook. She thinks she could get you back any time she wants... it's an ego boost.

I guarantee that if you cut off all contact with her again, she'll step up the efforts to re-engage you. Don't fall for it.

^^^ I agree.

I didn't end up going on the night out by the way.

Good for you, Op.