Originally Posted by
amazinglyshik
Hi,
Sorry to hear about your experiences with your work colleague.
Sometimes it is best to keep professional relationships the way they are instead of making them personal and intimate. You are not alone in this dilemma, so many people have fallen into the same trap of liking someone they work with, and before they know it, it can turn to disaster because boundaries get confused and distorted.
Although you are feeling hurt and sad, this is a blessing in disguise! - what if she had have gone for a coffee with you and shown just as much interest in you and then turned nasty some weeks into dating you? - she sounds as if she had either changed her mind about you because she didn't want to mess the boundaries up, or because she already has a partner and doesn't want to get into an affair with a fellow co-worker. Attraction happens all of the time between people who work in the same places as one another, yet not everyone will do something about their feelings if their personal integrity is at risk.
Do not take it to heart that she changed her mind, and don't pursue anything more with her in case she accusses you of harrassment because she can't tell you herself that she does not want to go out on a date with you. Clearly she has lead you up the garden path a little, but not because she meant to either. She has her own genuine reasons why she did not want to take things further, so looking for answers from her is not a good idea when she might get frightened and feel harrassed.
You can and will find love with someone who feels the same way about you, but keeping your work life separate from your personal one is very important. Let this go and look at it realistically, you could find yourself losing your job if you go after her for answers even though you have done nothing wrong. Learn from this experience and realise that work and personal life need boundaries - you will get over this and meet someone wonderful, but meet women outside of your workplace as they do exist.