Love and children

[achap89]

Me and this guy have liked each other now for three years. We just recently started spending time together outside of work and started working towards a relationship. Things were going great, then all of a sudden things changed. He told me that in his previous relationship that the woman he was with hurt him extremely bad. She had a child from a previous relationship and he was with this child since the day she was born (3 years), the mother will not let him see the child at all even though he was like a father to her for three years. I have a child also, and now he is saying that he doesn't know if he can get into another relationship with a woman who has a child because of the fear of losing another child he has gotten attached to. He has a five year old also. I have fallen in love with this guy, but he just seems so scared to commit. I know that if me and him were to actually be together things would be amazing for us. I don't know how to get him to understand that i'm not going to hurt him like his previous relationships (i am nothing like the woman he has dated in the past). And also how to show him that he can trust me with the things im saying and that im not just pulling things out of places.

[pisces25]

You can't MAKE him trust you, you just have to make your actions match your words. You can't actually guarantee him if you broke up you'd let him see your child again and you can't even make the guarantee you won't hurt him. What if your feelings change down the track? Make no such promises in relationships, they are empty ones. All you can do is reassure him you love spending time with him and you want him to be a part of your child's life and it is up to him if he wants to continue. Sometimes there are just things we can't control.