Girlfriend gets mad when I ask questions. Is she hiding something?

[simonmagus]

On two previous occasions my girlfriend has told me that she is going to go to a Bible study. She says that she will come over when finished and gives me a specific time. On both occasions she didn't show up when she said, didn't call, and just showed up a few hours later as if nothing happened and she was just at the Bible study. On one of these events she shows up at my house at 10pm wearing a shirt that shows cleavage and she smells of fancy perfume. She never does either of those things on Sunday when she goes to church so it aroused a little suspicion. I asked her about where she was both times and she says that she was just at the Bible study. Then after pressing her she says that her and some others went out to eat after the study. Any further questions were met with nasty remarks about my insecurity and that I am trying to be controlling. I decided to just let it go and not say anything else about it. Basically, I convinced myself that nothing weird is going on.

Now today, she was to go to a Bible study and then come over at 4pm. When I hadn't seen her by 5pm I decided to call. She says she is just at home doing chores and paying bills and random stuff and that she wasn't ready to go in time to get to the Bible study so they are going toit do it later this evening and that she will come over around 8pm. I told her that she said she would be there at 4 and it is now 5 and that she never called to let me know. I asked if she intended for me to sit here until 8pm wondering what we are doing. She said, "Uggg, I have just been doing stuff around the house." I then asked her about the Bible studies that she goes to. When they are, what time, are they private or group studies and she starts to get angry with me for asking too many questions. She tell me that she has already told me all of those answers before, which she hasn't. I tell her that she shouldn't be so upset because I am only asking questions and that I should be the one upset because she stood me up. At this point she starts yelling about how she isn't mad.... I interrupted her to say that I will not have her yelling at me and trying to make me the bad guy when she is the one who was no call, no show and I hung up.

In my mind when you ask someone a question, especially about where they have been or where they are going, and they immediately get defensive this is because they are hiding something and don't want you to know what they are up to. Is this irrational on my part or does it seem like she is hiding something?

I can't wait to see if she actually shows up later. If she is dressed like a skank then I will know for sure that she wasn't at the "bible study."

[Harley]

I get the impression that she may be hiding something. Why would you wear a revealing top to a bible study group? Not exactly appropriate dress. Also if she doesn't even have the decency to tell you that she is running late to see you and YOU have to call her yourself that would also give me the same indication. Be careful. A lot of people get aggressive when they are asked too many questions about something they know to be a lie, they also pull out the "You don't trust me, you're trying to control me" thing a lot as well.

See what happens the next time she turns up. If she's late again and doesn't call you and she is wearing inappropriate clothing then maybe you need to get out of that relationship. Casually ask her what she has been learning at her bible study as if it is just out of curiosity, maybe even feign interest and ask if you could come along and see how she reacts to that? Good luck!

[Wakeup]

If you want to know if she's hiding something or not then why don't you tell her you'd like to go to bible study with her instead of sitting at home and not trusting her?

From what you've shared I'd say that for sure she's sick of your questioning her and her activities and how she dresses. Thats a given. Anything else is just conjecture and our opinions on it are'nt going to help you to resolve your suspicious nature or her rudeness by not phoning you when she's going to be late.

So: Ask her to at least phone you so that you're not worried about her when she's is suppose to be with you and she is not. If she doesn't do that simple thing for you then perhaps you should just leave her for her inconsideration alone.. never mind because you suspect her of infidelity.

If she doesn't want you to go to bible study with her, well then that would be a solid red flag that something is up... The way she dresses and the fact that she is generally an inconsiderate douche are not indicators that she's cheating.

Using religion and the study of it as an excuse to step out on you seems far fetched. Does she actually go to church every Sunday?

[couchpotato]

I tend to fail when I suspect something and dont act on my guts instincts...always!!
This is as suspicious as it gets.When people are not clear they got motives to be so,meaning hiding stuff.Thats so not cool.
Get yourself a Plan B...you will be needing it soon.

[KingZ]

Christian women are notorious for being whores. Think about it.

Christianity is for people who are incapable of thinking about their own morality; but do any of them even read the Bible? Even if they did, it wouldn't matter. It just leads to immoral behavior, while convincing themselves that praying for a few minutes will fix everything, and keep them on the moral high-ground, because the creator of the universe favors them.

wat

[Nice Lover Boy]

Christian women are notorious for being whores. Think about it.

Christianity is for people who are incapable of thinking about their own morality; but do any of them even read the Bible? Even if they did, it wouldn't matter. It just leads to immoral behavior, while convincing themselves that praying for a few minutes will fix everything, and keep them on the moral high-ground, because the creator of the universe favors them.

wat

How is this even relative to the topic?

Simon, your best bet is to ask her if you can come with her. Or, you can start off by picking her up for a "special dinner" night. You don't give us much info on the status of the both of you. What age range you guys are. How has your relationship been? (lots of cuddling, kissing, or less, etc). Does she go to church on Sundays? I mean there are some girls who are serious about these kind of changes but the younger ones also use this as an excuse to go off and hide. Hope you reply with more info.

[Nice Lover Boy]

Update please

[CAM]

Christian women are notorious for being whores. Think about it.

Christianity is for people who are incapable of thinking about their own morality; but do any of them even read the Bible? Even if they did, it wouldn't matter. It just leads to immoral behavior, while convincing themselves that praying for a few minutes will fix everything, and keep them on the moral high-ground, because the creator of the universe favors them.

wat

Morality emerges from within our individual being, huh? Wrong. Morality has taken 200,000 years to develop and continues to develop and evolve. Take the religion out of the Bible for a moment (since much of it is a moral lesson or lessons) and realize that the Judeo-Christian tradition is just one codification of a set of moral precepts. Prayer is, for many, contemplation and reflection, sometimes regarding an adopted moral path in relation to one's ability to follow that path.

[VincenzoG91]

I think that she is "hiding the salami."

[gardenofjade]

omg, you guys crack me up.
Girls suddenly get deeply into religion when they 1. have a heartbreak 2. get raped.
Or she likes a guy at Church. Either way, find a different girl that's not so weird.

[Red Apollo]

Bible study is the perfect cover.

[Wakeup]

Apparently it's no reason to cover up her cleavage though.

Op's not been back.. Frankly and with all due respect: I think he is just a tad paranoid in general and is in the throws of a losing battle at his attempts to tell his gf where to be and how to dress. He's too afraid to just leave her so he'd rather whine and stay then hitch up his pants and accept that she likes to dress revealing and she likes to have friends other than just him. Why else would he stay if he is so convinced that she's a cheating Jezobel? Why would he not accompany her to 'bible study" are they that incompatible that she goes while he sits and waits for her? Op?

[IndiReloaded]

Ask her to at least phone you so that you're not worried about her when she's is suppose to be with you and she is not. If she doesn't do that simple thing for you then perhaps you should just leave her for her inconsideration alone.

This^ is the only real issue I see. I think you should have broken up with her for the way she responded to you when you brought this up. She sounds selfish and inconsiderate.

Going to 'bible study' with an open blouse and perfume? LOL, not unless its Family International.

KZ - I loved your comment and that's all I will say lest we start a riot you wonderful heathen, you. ;-)