Some advice please!!

[olly]

I met a girl at work about 18 months ago, We live in Wales, (in a separate department, not the same office) she’s 20, I’m 23, we just got on and clicked straight away and I kind of thought she liked me pretty early on, even a colleague has said that he could see something between us and he always thought we liked each other..she would ask me questions like..how come I wasn't seeing anyone, because I seemed really confident, something I've never thought of myself! I replied I jokingly, said I was shy, which she didn’t believe! She didn’t think I’d have any problems with girls etc, Ironic, I know. She would ask me about my family etc, she seemed to really want to get to know me amongst other things, like she'd always look at me and smile and come and talk to me, but she was with someone at the time so out of respect I kept a distance in that sense to maintain a friendship with her even though I really liked her. She would also say things to me like she wasn't sure about her and her boyfriend together, and as the time passed we got on better and better and we flirted etc. About a year on she and her boyfriend were having trouble because they were not seeing each other that much as she'd moved away for 3 months as part of her job where we worked, we still kept in touch often though via Facebook or phone and she rang me one evening, we were just talking and in mid conversation she threw in "me and him might be splitting up" which I tried to move past as I didn't want to get involved but then she said "didn't you hear what I just said!" I kind of thought then she might like me, so I tried to help her with it but she kept refusing my advice, then about a week later she told me they'd split. I thought I'd give her time as they had just split up and I knew she'd be returning home in a few weeks and I had every intention to ask her out but I thought I'd let her settle back in and given it was only a few weeks since she'd split up with her boyfriend, I thought I’d give it maybe a week or two as I didn’t want to jump in right away and ask her, after a long relationship you normally need a bit of time or at least that's what I thought. On her coming back I was the first person she got in touch with, asking to meet up, which I did and we had a laugh and flirted a bit as usual, then she asked me to meet her friends after, which I could’t do as I had to pick my nephew up from my sisters, but I text her saying we should do it again and she replied yes!..I thought things were working out, so about a week later I text her asking if she’d like to do something, which she didn’t reply too, I thought fine, I wont push anything..A few days later, I saw her in the caffe area sat next to another guy who’s turned out to be her new boyfriend, and she saw that I saw, and she just gave me a look. After that things got a bit quieter between us, we’d still talk but not as much, so all I could do was hold back again, but I made it obvious I liked her...anyway a few months passed, I asked if things were serious with her bf and she just shrugged her shoulders and said didn’t know as she thought the last one was serious, which I thought was a strange thing to say, as did my friend when I told him. In the end I told her how I felt about her, she said she was surprised that I liked her but she was seeing someone...so a week later I pulled her up and apologised if I made her uncomfortable, just I’d of regretted not saying anything, she then asked why I would of regretted it, and I said because I’d of never known...then she replied...”I can’t say anything to you can I? It is what it is” I have no idea what that meant and again she gave me a strange look and then told me her and her boyfriend had booked a holiday abroad and gave me another look, which threw me a bit given they’d only been together 4-5months and she didn’t know if it was serious a week or so before! Since I told her I liked her, things have gotten quieter between us again, she isn’t avoiding me, she’ll still wave to me, and we still talk a bit but not like we used to and I’m not going to force her into talking to me, it’s up to her.

My friend at work said he’s pretty sure she likes me or at least did given the evidence, like her wanting to meet up with me on her coming back and some of the things she’s said to me and the looks etc and he thinks the new boyfriend maybe was a rebound that she’s got stuck with given they’re going on holiday together, I just don't know and both of us don’t know why she just didn’t say we should be friends instead of saying she couldn’t say anything to me, because “it is what it is”, my friend said maybe its like not wanting to draw a line under us, and she's kind of avoiding her feelings for me. I just don’t know what to think, Maybe she never liked me, maybe she did or still does. I respect she’s with someone now, just if I had my chance, I don’t know where it was! And in June, she’s moving away again for work for 3 months.

I do want to add that she is honestly a really lovely girl, she isn’t an attention seeker or anything, she’s very kind, sweet and caring, it’s why I like her. I am aware I can't put my life on hold for her, I'm more confused than anything.

Sorry it’s long. Any advice would be appreciated, thanks. Olly.

[gardenofjade]

Go for it. Make sure you can live with her baggage. If you don't try at love you will never find it.

[olly]

Thanks for replying.

Given what I've put, what do you think is going on? does she like me? did she? I'm pretty confused.

Also she has a boyfriend, how do I go for anything? I was thinking maybe just taking a step back, giving her space.

Any more advice would be really helpful. Thanks.

Olly

[gardenofjade]

Women like to have a couple of boys around, kind of like a security thing. Sure, give her some space but throw in some spice now and then and work on your confidence in the meantime.

[olly]

Any ideas about throwing in some spice haha?

Also do you think that there was or is something there? And do you have any ideas why she's gone a bit quieter with me?

Thanks, Olly

[gardenofjade]

If she didn't like you she wouldn't pay any attention to you at all. But it's up to you to be the sexy stallion that she can't live without. Spice... bring her some chocolate, tell her that you are giving all the pretty girls chocolate that day... and she is one of them... or tell her your deepest fruity secret, like something about how you saved a dog from falling through the ice and the local news did an article about you... then blush and run away. Ask her if she's had her wisdom teeth out because you don't know what to expect and might need a nurse.