Behaving the way I am not supposed to be

[kev1987]

Hi all,

Just to share a bit of my story with everyone here, feed-backs are most welcome! ;-)

My girlfriend(32 years old) and I(25 years old) had a long distance relationship for almost 2 years and she is older than me for 7 years.
Everything went quite well until recently she discovered that all this while she didn't really see me as a boyfriend but instead a younger brother or whatsoever.

She said it's best that we put some time and distance and maybe her thoughts will change.
I was cool at first but after a week's time I started to miss her immensely then I started to approach her again.
We still talk, but it looks like I am losing control over myself gradually.
It's quite contradicting that I don't want to bother her but a part of me wants to keep in close contact with her.

She did tell me that she is really looking forward and want to think different of me that I should use this time to focus in work or other things that in result will make me a better and tougher man and that if she is thinking about marriage, I am those kind of person that she will put into considerations first.

The problem is it's not like we quarreled and hate each other and break up or something. Just that she and I tried being together, things didn't work out but we still feel like being together again.

Mind to share what you guys are thinking?

[smackie9]

It's two years and the relationship hasn't progressed to you two physically dating, and having intimacy. Relocation should have been a step but wasn't taken, so this relationship expired. All that is left is emotional attachment......she had no choice but to friend zone you and possibly has started to have an interest in someone else that lives locally.

Remember she is 32 and she wants marriage and have babies real soon, she can't be wasting her time on this type of relationship.

[Lunaa]

Yup exactly that... You are still 25, but she's already at the age of wanting to get married and possibly have babies and have a more realistic relationship not an online one, if that is something you are willing to do 100% you should tell her that, but if not, you should let her go, all that's left is emotional attachment and memories.

[kev1987]

Thanks for the replies!

At first I was thinking the same thing. But actually it's not.

She just thinks that I'm not matured enough for her.

As weird as it sounds, she told me to stop being depressed, be more of a man and make her regret her choice for breaking up with me :-/

[miffy]

You're going in circles. As Lunaa said, she's at a different stage in life and has other priorities, and looks for other qualities in men. She may feel very close to you personally, but that's all it is. And she's really messing you up with her statements, which is not ok. If she were mature enough for it, she would cut all contact with you for now, and not make ambiguous statements like that last one. Again, there is no "real" aspect to this relationship so far. And there won't be.

Move on, move on, move on. Find someone in your relative age group and in your area.

[smackie9]

Thanks for the replies!

At first I was thinking the same thing. But actually it's not.

She just thinks that I'm not matured enough for her.

As weird as it sounds, she told me to stop being depressed, be more of a man and make her regret her choice for breaking up with me :-/

Seriously? I think the one that should be more mature and man up is her. She didn't bother to communicate with you but rather just end the relationship instead. That's childish.

[smackie9]

You're going in circles. As Lunaa said, she's at a different stage in life and has other priorities, and looks for other qualities in men. She may feel very close to you personally, but that's all it is. And she's really messing you up with her statements, which is not ok. If she were mature enough for it, she would cut all contact with you for now, and not make ambiguous statements like that last one. Again, there is no "real" aspect to this relationship so far. And there won't be.

Move on, move on, move on. Find someone in your relative age group and in your area.

It's not always about age....I'm 6 years older than my husband....my GF is 13 years older than her husband....I feel the distance makes it too hard for a relationship work properly. It's obvious she wanted him to get off his ass, pack his shit up and move there.....it was long over due! 2 years is just silly.....should have done it with in 6 months to show he was committed for the long haul.

[smackie9]

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