Torn Between Two Lovers?

[MisguidedHeart]

Okay here is my scenario...

I been with my ex for about 3-4 years her names Lori she was and still is the love of my life I cant stop thinking about her and wanting to be with her but she broke my heart about 7-8 months ago saying shes not in love with me anymore and she doesnt want to be with me so whatever we broke up and I was devastated and heartbroken

So a friend of mine was kind to me during that time and always had an open ear and help put me back together and during this time she fell in love with me me with her not so much but theres this huge connection between us so whatever we bonded went on road trips shes everything I could ever want the perfect girl she wants the same things i do she wants me to persue my career in music where my ex was over it and she wants to have a family in the future which i wasnt ready for but the more I thought about it i seen it with her and now I want to have a baby with her oh forgot to mention we got married in december I surprised her for my birthday we took a road trip to vegas and one night there I purposed we both knew what we were getting into but we did it anyways she perfect by all means in every way I just dont think im in love with her and it took me a long time till i even told her i love you...

Now my ex wants me back shes showing up unanounced making problems saying sarcastic things to my wife April because she knows how I still feel about her so she tells her things like I'll never love her the way she loves me and just hurtful things and april takes it because she dont wan to cause tension between me and her and me and my ex

I just broke up with the both of them said I cant choose between you because I'll always have feeling for the other person I do not want to let april go because she does mean alot to me and I know I can have the future that I want to have with her not so much with my ex she doesnt share the same feelings as I do about my future.. I havent gone thru the divorce yet because I want to be sure what I'm going to do before I completely end it..

So its the choice of Being with..

April (my wife) and always have the thoughts of wanting to be or missing my ex in the back of my mind and everything that hapends good in my future me saying to myself why couldnt I have this with my ex? But I remind you april is perfect and everything I wish my ex was...

Or..

Lori (my ex) who I basically just forget everything about a future career a family for now maybe one day she'll come along and life? Because she doesnt like to do anything she dont like to go places like to eat or shop or to the movies shes basicly a homebody only when she feels like doing something.. But I cannot live without her I remind you she slept with two guys while I was seeing april but I dont know ifI should let this affect me because I was with april at the time it's just every breath every waking moment I cant stop thinking about her...

I do not want to choose and see one of them moving on with someone else it kills me just thinking about it and were all like somewhat of a family I'll always have encounters with either of them and seeing them with someone new well lets just say you might as well kill me now..

I dont know what to do I'm going out of my mind literally my head wont stop spinning I'm so confused, angry, hurt, broken and everything else.. I seriously need some advice and I hope you can help with some details about who should I choose and why?

Because I cant take it anymore I'm going to do something stupid to get out of this misery and I dont want to go there... So please help..

[Wakeup]

Google "polyamory" and educate yourself on alternative lifestyle choices. Then, once you know what it means to be in a polyamorous relationship, perhaps you can talk the two woman iwho are dumb enough to fight over you, into sharing.

(is it spring break or something?)

[smackie9]

Google "polyamory" and educate yourself on alternative lifestyle choices. Then, once you know what it means to be in a polyamorous relationship, perhaps you can talk the two woman iwho are dumb enough to fight over you, into sharing.

(is it spring break or something?)

OH good answer!

[pisces25]

I'm wondering where the full stops are....

[MisguidedHeart]

If I came here for judgement I wouldnt have came here at all...
I came here for help and advice..
If the shoe was on the other foot you would be asking the same..
So thanks for nothing...

[searock]

Why would you MARRY someone when you still aren't over another person?! Obviously you are going to find yourself in crazy situations if your actions are incoherent. What I know is that if you "can't stop thinking" about your ex, you are being incredibly disrespectful to your wife by not being honest and by sticking with her even though you aren't in love with her.

[smackie9]

Everyone knows there is no answer to your delimma. You are the one that got into this pickle, so you are on your own with this one.

[MisguidedHeart]

Why would you MARRY someone when you still aren't over another person?!

It was a spur of the moment kinda thing I only planned it for about a week before I wanted to go to vegas for my birthday and I thought to myself why not marry her while I'm there So Irented the chappel and whatever there and had the ring before I even left for vegas then one night that I felt right I porposed we knew what we were getting into because I was still in love with my ex but at that time I was trying so hard to forget about her and I thought that making the final promise as with the vows that I can keep it and stop breaking her heart and I have tried very hard to keep my vows and am still trying I ust took her for a walk on the beach and asked for my ring back and said I'm going to have a talk with my ex and its going to be either you or her or none of you

today is our three month wedding aniversary so after I talk to my ex and see what I'm going to do about this situation regardless good or bad I'm not making a decision today I'm going to spend the day with my wife and take her out somewhere nice to eat and have one of our little rendevouz however you spell it that we like to have every once and awhile aint going to get into details..

And tomorrow we'll see the out come of the situation but today is about taling to my ex and tonights all about my wife I'm going to disregard everything that happends with my ex today the minute I walk into the door of my home with my wife and act as if nothing happend I'm going to walk in with some cliche roses and candy and tell her about all the plans that were going to have tonight and its all about her..

I also want to get her something more special shes not really much of a jewelry wearer and she has everything you can think of so what do you get for the girl who has everything....???

And no dont say me making a choice and choosing her.. I just might do it depending on the outcome of my ex... But what object can I get her and no dont say sex toys either.. we pleasure eachother just plenty without them thank you.. Besides we have some but prefer the physical contact

I'll check in later see if there are any ideas posted..

[searock]

I'm sorry but I can't understand most of your post because of missing punctuation... Did you talk to your ex today, and to your wife this evening? And you want to see how you feel tomorrow? Is that what happened?

[MisguidedHeart]

I'm sorry but I can't understand most of your post because of missing punctuation... Did you talk to your ex today, and to your wife this evening? And you want to see how you feel tomorrow? Is that what happened?

Sorry for the confusion..
I typed all that in a hurry because I was on my way to pick up my ex
to have "the" talk We are still discussing our matters atm
It's just hard to let go of something you care about so much..
She don't know none of them do about my posts on the forum.. Just trying to get some insight..
Umm.. I'm on the verge of breaking up with my ex and telling her to stay away, just everytime I try to come out with I think twice before saying it..
She meant everything to me and I thought I can move past this thats why I got married in the first place..
But unfortunatly I was wrong.. And I'm tired of stringing both of these girls along..
I know it's time to end it with one of them it's just not that easy...
If I was on here reading this post I would have a different opinion and choose but in real life its alot harder then you think...

[searock]

You used marriage as a rebound relationship... wow. How did you not see how disastrous of an idea it was? You can't keep going on like this, stuck in this situation, for ever. Eventually you are going to have to make some radical changes. Are you sure that what you feel for your ex is love? Sounds more like dependency to me.

[MisguidedHeart]

wow. How did you not see how disastrous of an idea it was?

Yes I did but I thought the vows and promises I made was enough to keep me strong..?
And they were I was fine, doing good.. Until she started showing up again and just seeing her face makes me light up..
I'm a love sick pup caught between two owners..

I thought my ex was my one and only, we made plans together about our future we had dreams she was the lead singer of my band
We were in the process of getting a record deal.. We talked about going on tour and becoming the next big thing..
We started slacking off.. Then she quit.. Then she lost feelings for me.. Then she was gone..

I just love her so much.. But now I'm in this thing with april and she makes me happy and umm...
Horny just looking at her No I'm not with her just for the sex and shes a very conservative girl dont look like a porn star or slut..
Everytime I walk in the room with her I just want to rip her clothes off..
And shes just so cute when my hormones calm down cute face beautiful smile she LOVES to watch tv just as much as I do thats one our things
Making a feast and pigging out to the television.. She love to watch me play guitar, sing and dance shes just a all-around good girl

I love both of these girls SOOOOOOO MUCHHHH!! just differently in different ways they have different qualities about them you can say
Lori's quiet but a party girl when she wants to be..
April's a I guess what you call a best friend likes and does the same things you do..

[MisguidedHeart]

Update on "the" talk didnt really go anywhere just back and forth in circles..
She got tired of talking and called one of her friends to pick her up..
I know shes the wrong choice for me.. I just don't know how to stay away..
People always wants whats bad for them...

Anyways I'm going to go pick up some roses and chocolate and be on my way to my wife..
Keep you posted what happends there.. But I'm not discussing anything with her tonight..
It's just about us and our aniversary.. Keep you posted

[smackie9]

I suggest after this blows over....book an appointment with a therapist.

[Bossladyakamia]

Omg, dude.. Your ex cheated on you not once but twice?? And you still love her for her deceitful ways? You have a wonderful, loving wife who is faithful to you, what more do you need?
Sorry buddy, but you have your love wires all mixed up, You need to get it right dude.. Maybe polygamy will be the best choice for you... Jmo though!