Quick recap. I'm a widow in my 50s. Last time I posted, I met a chap from an online dating site. He was nice enough but it was obvious there would never be anything between us and we never contacted each other again.
However, since then I started writing to another chap. We have so many common interests that it was uncanny, even down to both our children (adults) having serious health problems. We started phoning each other and got on really, really well. We have the same likes and dislikes and both of us are musicians, playing the same instruments.
Yesterday we met for the first time and it was a disaster. I made the cardinal sin of meeting him in his home - something I warn others not to do, but as I'm a highly trained Martial Artist, don't have the same fear that others do. It went wrong from the start. He didn't reply to my last e-mail which I thought was odd as he usually responded fairly quickly. He didn't phone either, so my son suggested I phone him which I did. He seemed to be very surprised that I phoned him. I had to drive quite a distance to get there and he was quite shocked but delighted that I'd actually turned up.
Unfortunately, he is one of those types that moves very quickly and immediately invaded my personal space. Now that is something I don't like, no matter who it is and it put my back up. Anyway, I decided to see how things progressed and up to a point it did. We played some music together and I felt myself relax a bit. We talked a lot about the medical problems our kids had had and how they coped with them but things started to go downhill when I started to feel quite ill. Eventually I decided to go home. He'd bought in something to make a meal with and I had to turn this down.
He said he could sense I didn't want to be with him which was partly true because I thought he came on far too strong but the biggest reason was I did, genuinely feel like death warmed up. I'm one of those people who prefers to take time to get to know someone properly before taking it to the next level - something I thought I made clear prior in our e-mails and phone conversations. Obviously, not clear enough!
Anyway, I left and I knew I'd really hurt his feelings. As it was, I had to stop the car several times on the way home. Even today, I am still not feeling 100%.
I have mixed feelings about this man. On one hand, having so much in common, we could have had a very good relationship. On the other, I think he could be too controlling and possessive (for those of you into star signs, he's a Scorpio and I'm a Sagittarius).
My son thinks that I fall for the wrong men (been married 3 times, divorced twice and widowed once) and that because someone showed me affection, he thinks it scared me off. Maybe he's right.
One other thing is the distance between us. Neither of us have much in the way of finances so it would make meeting very difficult, especially for me.
Your advice - and take on this - would be greatly appreciated.