6 year relationship, health problems and an incredibly insensitive man! What to do?

[horselady21]

I am a mature woman who has been in a relationship with a man for 6 yrs. He is very well off financially and I am lower income with no health insurance. I have been working for him on the side for years, working on cars that he buys which I would restore and then we sell and split the profit, and maintaining his buildings (cutting grass, etc.). This past October, I re-injured my lower back that I had had surgery on 2 yrs. ago. I just started getting to the point where I can do more, and today decided to go to the garage and do a little bit of light work. On his way to work, he stopped at the garage, walked in and said, "I need you to fix my brakes for me.....I'll take your car and you can drive mine when your done...blah, blah, blah" I was stunned! He knows what I have been thru physically, knows that I spent all my savings and then some on Dr. appts. and never offered to help me, never offered to do anything for me when I was really bad....Anyhow, I suggested that he pay someone to do it, and he said no, he wouldn't do that (yes, he is THAT cheap!) but would do it in his parking lot at his business!

I've known for years that he is cheap, that money is very important to him, but this is just ridiculous! I am hurt, disappointed, angry...and really considering ending it. I don't think he will ever change. Besides the fact that he lives at home with his mother because he is too cheap to have his own place. I am tired of our dates ending up at his mother's house on the sofa watching their old TV!

Any advice welcome! And thanks!

[smackie9]

And it took you 6 years to figure this out?!

[horselady21]

Yeah, well, I've tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, and he HAS improved in other ways..but obviously not the ways that matter..

[Boisdevie]

1. You really must be stupid.
2. Leave him.
3. Read 1 and 2.

[horselady21]

Wow, you people are pretty brutal! Points taken..

[MaidenMinx]

Well off financially and living with his mother?!? Unless he is caring for his mother, this was your first red flag.

Ask yourself this, will he care for you in your old age? If not, (and nothing you have said makes me think he would) get out while you still can.

[horselady21]

You are right, I know. He had built a new house years before I met him but he was always working or travelling and never at home so sold it. Then he bought the farmette next door to his mom's (the farmhouse was trashed, and I mean like something out of "Hoarders", and I spent weeks cleaning it out, thinking he would get the big things fixed but it never happened).

I doubt he would take care of me, now or in old age; time to move on, I guess. Just a really hard thing to do when you have invested so much time and energy.

Thanks for the input.

[MaidenMinx]

It is hard, it can be extremely difficult to move on. The thing to remember is once you realise a relationship isn't for you, you are simply delaying the inevitable after that point. Cut your losses and move on. I know it isn't as easy as it sounds but you don't want to let any more time with this man build up and make it even harder.

[bulrush]

If he still lives with his mom, he's not an adult yet. I don't see a future with you two.