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Thread: What should I do? We were in love but her parents.

  1. #1
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    What should I do? We were in love but her parents.

    I was in a interracial relationship for 6 months, it seemed longer because we started off having a crush on each other throughout the office. And even though she left the company, we were still together. Within 1 month of the relationship she already told me I was the best she ever had and the greatest guy she has ever been with. There is only one problem, due to me being a Filipino American and she is white her mom is not completely OK with it. I told her if I'm invited to the house just keep bringing me over and she will get to see me as a person. Her mom was also concerned because I don't come from a rich town like her, however I am working a full-time job as a Desktop Analyst making 50,000k a year at 26yrs old. She is 22 yrs old finishing up her last semester in college.

    From month 2-6 things were going great, I was taking her to football games, theme parks, concerts, dinners, Broadway shows. We were having a blasts! I was even invited to spend Thanksgiving, Christmas and Her Birthday with her family. We thought everything was going well, and we fell in love more and more. We admitted to each other that we were in love after 2 months. We just clicked so well, and always had smiling faces every time we saw each other. Then one night her mom told her about the hard-ships of raising interracial children. Which I don't believe is that bad because we live in Northern NJ, where there are a lot of different cultures in the area.

    She decided to listen to her mom and break-up with me before it's too late. She was a mama's girl her whole life and always listened to her mom. I knew she didn't want to do it because she even cried when she did it. She told me her parents were always involved in all the decisions she made in her life. She had guys before who met her mom's check list and they were nothing close to me. She even gave me back my Christmas present to her.

    It's been Tuesday 01/24/2012 since we broke up and I still can't get my mind off her. I know she is miserable inside and I know she still loves me.

    It's so hard to let go, I haven't texted her or e-mailed her since the break up. I just don't know if this is it or not. We shared soo many good times together and she even told me she is surprised how great of a guy I am considering where I came from.
    Last edited by jh0nathang35; 28-01-12 at 11:38 PM.

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    The ball is in her court, she is the one that has to decide what's going to happen. If she feels you are worth it she will be back. Once she is finished college, she will be free to do whatever she wants......is she living with her mom atm?

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    She is still living at home at the moment. We just celebrated our 6 month anniversary 3 days before the break-up and it was one of our best dates ever.

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    Well that's your answer right there....she lives under her mom's roof, so that means her mom's rules. No worries, she is trying to figure out how to make it work. For now you need to be patient.

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    We always put each other to sleep through the phone at night, and I call her to wake her up in the morning. We text throughout the day and g-chat also. And on days that I don't see her we even video-chat just to see each other's faces. I know she is missing all of that right now.

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    All you can do is hope for the best. It's only been 4 days....something will eventually happen. No girl out there would give up the one they love without a fight.

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    Quote Originally Posted by smackie9 View Post
    No girl out there would give up the one they love without a fight.
    Exactly. Seems like she gave up quite too easily. She isn't 16, she's 22. Fully capable of taking her own decisions IMO. Even if she does decide to go back to him, what's up with the racist stuff like "she is surprised how great of a guy I am considering where I came from"? What does that even mean?

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    On our last convo, she said that she was defending me whenever her mom did have concerns about me. But she still kept on coming back nagging her about her concerns about this relationship. She is not racists, considering her best friends are all indian, and her past crushes were always on non-white men. She has a thing for tan skin color.

  9. #9
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    She should, and most importantly could, have just told her mom that she respects her opinion, but she is an adult and she is free to see whom she wants without having to withstand constant nagging.

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    Like I said she lives with her mom, and well most in that type of situation have no choice but to listen to their parents if the are going to sleep under their roof and eat their food (possibly paying for her education too). She is being provided for atm so she cannot bite the hand that feeds her. Once she's done with school and goes out on her own.....she will do what she pleases.

    This is not over.
    Last edited by smackie9; 29-01-12 at 07:52 AM.

  11. #11
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    I was her first love, her first ever serious boyfriend. I even took away her virginity...

    Everything was going well until her fight with her mom and older sis. She even told me stuff to start saving my money for the sake of our future.

    This sucks, but I guess everyone goes through it, throwing away the poems she wrote me and donating all the gifts she gave me. Also going to be deleting all of our pictures we took together.

  12. #12
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    Think of it this way.....you both had the opportunity to share the experience together.....

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    We even agreed friendship is not in the plans for the future, because she is afraid the feelings will come back.

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