Girl wants some time to think, I desperately need help.

[sythmod]

Hello there, I've had some great luck with the answers I've gotten off of this forum earlier, so I hope you can help me again, it would be much appreciated!

I met this 18 year old girl (I'm 19 years old) in the middle of november, we started hanging out a lot in the start of Desember, and she were at my place several times. We kissed and so it all began.
We had a really good time, and after about 2 weeks we talked about "us", and we both wanted no serious relationship. We didn't understand why we should rush into something when we had
a good and undefined relationship, with kissing and cuddling and everything.

Anyway, we had a really good time and it worked out really well. I ate dinner with her and her parents like two weeks ago and everything was really good. Until I suddenly started to feel like she didn't
give me as much attention as she once did. When we were together everything seemed fine though, she kissed med and wanted me to hold her any everything, but she was not so eager when we weren't
together. So after two weeks where I had the feeling that something might've been wrong, I decided to talk to her about it.

I asked her what it was about and she told me that she had retreated a bit because she is not sure exactly what she feels; and even though I knew this from before (because we had talked about it), I didn'treally like to hear it, and then she told me she just needs some time to figure out how she feels about me. So I asked her what was going to happen now, and she told me:

I feel that the stage we are in now is just to figure out what we feel, and that we have no strings attached.
And that it's just nice to have someone that's a little bit special and you're extra close with.
We are still on the same stage as we have always been in, but it is not so serious. It is just to figure things out.

So yeah, love forum women; what should I do? What do you think she wants? And is it all over, or are there still hope? I mean she still wants to stay at the stage we've always been at,
which means watching movies in bed and making out etc, etc..
And how should I adjust to this? Should I back off a bit and just let her take the initiative to make plans etc? We are in the same class at school, so we always sit together twice a week in that class, which makes it hard to cut her all out and make her miss me, if that could be a plan.

The thing is that I've started developing some feelings for her, which makes everything a lot harder....

Anyways, thanks a lot if you read through this! Any help is greatly appreciated!

Best regards, Sythmod.

[smackie9]

I think she has started to notice that you do have feelings for her and she is trying to decide whether it's fair to you to continue this casual relationship. It's best to back off and give her time to figure out which direction she wants to take. Who knows what she feels, only she can tell you that.

[sythmod]

Wow, I always go over things a thousand times in my head, and I come up with several reasons to what the cause might be, but this was not one of them!
That actually does make a lot of sense.. so I should not tell her that I do have feelings for her? But yeah, I really think i should just back off a bit..
Thanks a ton by the way!!

[smackie9]

YW! : ) They say the trick to being desirable is to make yourself undesirable....that means being less available to them physically and emotionally. Distance makes the heart grow fonder.

[surfhb]

Yep! Repeat after me! Do NOT contact this girl anymore!!!! Don't do it man!

[sythmod]

Yep! Repeat after me! Do NOT contact this girl anymore!!!! Don't do it man!

Haha, you have no idea how encouraging that really sounds I won't! Atleast until she contacts me... and then I'll hesitate. A bit.

And thanks! I appreciate it a lot

[smackie9]

Haha, you have no idea how encouraging that really sounds I won't! Atleast until she contacts me... and then I'll hesitate. A bit.

And thanks! I appreciate it a lot

Now you are getting it.

[surfhb]

Haha, you have no idea how encouraging that really sounds I won't! Atleast until she contacts me... and then I'll hesitate. A bit.

And thanks! I appreciate it a lot

Cool! Now dont get your hopes up if she doesnt call because she may not. Go find another girl now. If she calls, you will have 2 girls after you.......And thats a wonderful feeling indeed

[sythmod]

Cool! Now dont get your hopes up if she doesnt call because she may not. Go find another girl now. If she calls, you will have 2 girls after you.......And thats a wonderful feeling indeed

Yeah, about that.. I actually had a girl over last night and we kissed, I have no idea why but yeah, it happened.. and the feeling was bad, I just thought about the other girl which I have feelings for.
Had to tell the second girl that it meant nothing, I think I made her pretty upset though.. Kinda an unfair thing to do.

Anyways, the first girl obviously thinks about me because she asked one of her best friends if she talks a lot with me. And she doesn't seem to like the fact that I'm talking to her best friend.