Long Distance didnt work out, devastated

[Billy111]

So I was with this girl for 7 months and we were great together, we had so much in common and really enjoyed each others company. She moved to university in September which meant only seeing each other every other weekend, but we agreed that we would give it a go at making the relationship work. As the weeks went on due to work lack of money etc the relationship grew more stressful and we were starting to argue, but whenever we were together things were always the same between us and I thought despite the odd argument things were working out great.

Anyway during Christmas I really felt as if she just didnt want the relationship anymore, so I made the first move and said this isnt working out is it, this caused another argument, and I pretty much gave her the opportunity to end the relationship there and then. She said she loved being with me and we agreed to leave the arguments behind us and start afresh for the new year. She came to my house just before she moved back to uni and things were great between us it was just like the first time we were going out. So I thought we had sorted everything out and was looking forward to spending the next year with her.

Anyway she texted me last week, asking me to meet up with her before she goes, as she wants to talk. Now I already knew what that meant so I phoned her up. She said that since moving back to uni she has realized just how hard its going to become, and she has had to look for a job to make it through uni, meaning no time for us to see each other, after trying to reason with her, she said she's made her mind up and said its not going to work out. This has left me devastated as I know she is the perfect girl for me. We've been talking which I know is a bad idea and I get the feeling that she isnt convinced with her decision, for example when breaking up I said I think its best we leave each other and try and move on, she pretty much begged that we stay in touch.

Im finding it really hard to move on from this as it really came out of the blue as we had sorted everything out, and would like people's advice on whether I should try and convince her to make things work out, as I really think they can do, or just accept her decision and move on.

[Boisdevie]

She doesn't know what she wants. But it's clear that you are not part of the picture and she's all over the place. I'd leave her well alone.

[Billy111]

Ive just talked to her saying we can work this out, she said her minds mind up she will always care about me and hope's we can be friends. I needed the closure and feel as if I can move on now. I do feel though that she's not being completely honest about the break up and something has defo happened between having a great time in mine, to her movingback to manchester for this to happen, but Im gonna leave it be as I dont want an argument with her, and leave it bitter between us.

[oldskool83]

ok 1st u can get all pussy footed here when you asked to break up a month ago. now who is the needy one. you know this stuff dont work, also you in school...screw it, nothing works out in school. do what you need to do, let her go. friends in BS, no one stays friends its a cop out...prob there some cute boy at her school...comeon now.

wish you the best but red flags are all over this.

[smackie9]

I think she has fear that you are going to bail on her because you were already going to do it at christmas time. You are to blame for planting that seed. Just take your time with her, and hopefully that will convince her it is worth a try.

[sadie_genie]

It is more difficult when you were so used to seeing each other. Also because you started locally, the expectations are higher so when these expectations are not fulfilled, it becomes the subject of arguments. You should figure out some way to assure her that visiting her less doesn't mean you care less about the relationship. Try your best to find the money to visit her more often and tell her the effort you are putting in to make the visits possible.