Why does she keep pushing me away?

[DVR1]

Ahh, it's very good to hear from someone going through the same situation .. does she do all the other stuff too like trying to make you jealous, and saying things she knows is hurtful or touchy to you on purpose to see how you react? lol. And when she's being affectionate does she kind of overdo it to try to become more of your ideal woman?

I honestly do feel that she is worth the effort and energy .. and I haven't even met her yet! Like I said too, I've seen through the facade she puts on when she's being "hot" and I already have strong feelings for what I see underneath.

Trying to be this shining knight isn't a problem for me because that's actually right in line with my personality .. I enjoy helping people and making them at ease (I actually plan to do something medical with my life). It's just hard to stand firm when she does painful things.

The problem is just how much lately I see through 'everything' she does but I pretend like I don't and it doesn't bother me, because I know there are women who like to test you to see if things bother you and like you more if you don't .. but maybe that's just short term anyway with guys who really are assholes and not fit for relationships.

Ugh, why must women be so damn confusing -_-

Thanks for the input btw!

Yes, she is doing and saying things to make me jealous, sometimes her sayings may be a little hurtful, but she knows i don't stand that behavior.
Do not try to be that White knight in shining armor, isn't healthy enough and is described as a disadvantage into the dating world.

ALL women are willing for you to be a challenge, no matter what, she may tell you the exact opposite but isn't true at all . . .
Challenge means, be mysterious, don't say too much, keep it simple, funny, cocky (sometimes) and never get pissed or what because
of her sayings (and actions). Women are attracted to men who stay unaffected from their behavior. Off course, there are times you should
protect yourself and your ground, always put a line and put up your own shield.

Everyone women is dying to "throw" you into the friend bucket, so she doesn't need to risk her heart and feelings. She thinks you are a potential
risk and she has to test you before she opens her heart, and the more your stay cool and be like a rock, the more points you earn.

But, as i told you, i'm under the same situation in my real life (not over phone) and eventually i find myself asking, if she deserves my energy & time.

Maybe you think you can change her but at the end no one wants a woman with such an emotional baggage.

She is throwing all this stuff very early, into your relationship, so you know she is going to hurt you, that's her character.

Final advice: be a nice bad boy! (no woman can resist this combination)

[ConfewsdGuy]

Yes, she is doing and saying things to make me jealous, sometimes her sayings may be a little hurtful, but she knows i don't stand that behavior.
Do not try to be that White knight in shining armor, isn't healthy enough and is described as a disadvantage into the dating world.

ALL women are willing for you to be a challenge, no matter what, she may tell you the exact opposite but isn't true at all . . .
Challenge means, be mysterious, don't say too much, keep it simple, funny, cocky (sometimes) and never get pissed or what because
of her sayings (and actions). Women are attracted to men who stay unaffected from their behavior. Off course, there are times you should
protect yourself and your ground, always put a line and put up your own shield.

Everyone women is dying to "throw" you into the friend bucket, so she doesn't need to risk her heart and feelings. She thinks you are a potential
risk and she has to test you before she opens her heart, and the more your stay cool and be like a rock, the more points you earn.

But, as i told you, i'm under the same situation in my real life (not over phone) and eventually i find myself asking, if she deserves my energy & time.

Maybe you think you can change her but at the end no one wants a woman with such an emotional baggage.

She is throwing all this stuff very early, into your relationship, so you know she is going to hurt you, that's her character.

Final advice: be a nice bad boy! (no woman can resist this combination)

Ok now I'm really confused (hence the name), first you said this kind of woman needs a knight in shining armor, now you're saying that I shouldn't try to be one with her?

And if I'm understanding you correctly, you're saying that I should yell at her or call her out on her crap and games, but somehow not actually show that I'm pissed, and remain unaffected? Or are you saying that I should remain unnaffected and pretend not to care about everything that doesn't cross the line? You say that you don't stand for her bad behaviour, and she knows this, how do you deal with it then?

I guess what I could do is just straightup talk about it all to her, tell her I know she's been playing games, and if she wants me in her life, and wants to meet me and pursue a real relationship that I won't tolerate the crap. She obviously won't cut it out, but maybe the idea of her knowing that I'm not gonna be a pushover will at least make things better in the long run?

The biggest confusion I have is, like I previously said, I'm still not understanding the "hot and cold" concept, what the reason for it is, and not sure if it's part of the "bs" I should call her on. And how exactly to deal with that aspect in particular. Maybe I'm just having a hard time with what you guys mean with this in particular because I haven't really come across it before.

You're saying though, that it's not necessarily an ego boosting form of manipulation or a loss of interest, but rather like what I previously thought might be true, is that she's protecting herself by testing me with it? She has already opened herself up though so to speak, and told me she has strong feelings for me, in various ways when she's "hot", and even occasionally when she's being cold. But maybe not completely?

[ConfewsdGuy]

I stumbled upon the following personality disorder while trying to figure out what is going on with this girl. She matches it to the bill, not just with a few or most symptoms, but very likely with ALL symptoms and traits of the disorder. It would explain why I've been so confused by her actions, and especially why I've been so concerned, for both myself and her..

[url]http://my.clevelandclinic.org/disorders/personality_disorders/hic_histrionic_personality_disorder.aspx[/url]

[url]http://www.ncfliving.org/bk_128_histrionic1.php[/url]

The second link actually explains a lot about what Bonfire and DVR1 were getting at with how to deal with and have a relationship with this type of person. Saying that they require a partner that can take an objective stance, while showing care and affection, and yet pointing out their bad behaviours and rewarding mature ones.

Of course there has been no diagnoses, and this is only from a standpoint of someone who has witnessed her behaviour firsthand (so to speak) and heard stories of her actions from others related to her and friends with her.. Gonna take this to the psych forums and see what the folks there think.

Thanks for the replies and advice though either way.