Where did i go wrong with this girl?

[frank petty]

So I worked with this girl for about a month. We got along fine and had some nice chats.I caught her starung ta mne a ew times She quit though before I could get her number so I contacted her on Facebook, exchanged numbers and we agreed to hang out.

We went to the movies (I paid), went bowling (I paid), went to a movie and got ice cream after and talked in her car. WHile we were in her car she asked when the last time I had a gf was. ---(we ate ate the ice cream in her car. she wanted to go somehwere where we could sit and talk... maybe make out?)

3 days later she texted me saying she didn't feel like I had any interest in her. I explained to her I did. We went to watch fireworks for July 4th and I asked her on a date to dinner. We went to dinner and had a good time. 3 days later we went to a movie, and I asked her to be my girlfriend. She said I think we should just be friends and see what happens.

The next day she texted me saying.. I have had fun with you but I don't wanna hangout with you and please stop texting me.


now i dont know where i went wrong..i guess because i didnt make a move....

where did i go wrong? is it because she was wanting me to make a move?

its been over 5 months...i have been thinking about texting her again

[sadie_genie]

I have no idea either. Either you are missing some information here or the girl has some hang ups. But if it is over 5 months since you last talked to her, it is weird to initiate conversations again.

[bulrush]

3 days later she texted me saying she didn't feel like I had any interest in her.

Please describe exactly how you showed interest in her. Make a list. I think there is a type of communication gap I call "man brain vs woman brain" here. I think you didn't speak her "woman" language.

[Wakeup]

Chances are you didn't do anything wrong. In fact the odds are that she just wasn't feeling a conection to you. Dating is a numbers game and there will be rejection to you and from you to a girl when you're not "feeling it." I suggest that next time you only do one thing with a girl that you're just getting to know on the first date and keep it inexpensive and simple. Then wait a few days before asking her out again. if she's not showing you signs that shes interested and having fun, if she's not invited you somewhere after the third date (and paying (or at the very least offering since she invited) then don't put any more effort into her and let her make some towards you. It's a fine dance that has to be reciprocated by both parties and it's just wasting your time if you're the one who is always reaching out.

Don't contact her again. It's been five months and she told you not to contact her again and you should respect that.

Good luck with your next date.. be sure not to invest too much, (emotionally or financially) too soon, make sure it's being appreciated and reciprocated.

I'll add that if you're on your third date and she's not giving you any hints through body language, eye contact, flirting or outright agression that she wants you to make at least a kissing move on her, then she's just not feeling you i would think. Next!

[frank petty]

Please describe exactly how you showed interest in her. Make a list. I think there is a type of communication gap I call "man brain vs woman brain" here. I think you didn't speak her "woman" language.

she meant it as "it seems like you don't enjoy being around me"

but I did. I mean ok I didn't hold her hand or anything, but I would tell her she looked good(pretty, nice,) and we always made plans to meet again

I mean I just got nervous around her and was afraid if I tried to kiss her or something she would think it was to soon

[frank petty]

Chances are you didn't do anything wrong. In fact the odds are that she just wasn't feeling a conection to you. Dating is a numbers game and there will be rejection to you and from you to a girl when you're not "feeling it." I suggest that next time you only do one thing with a girl that you're just getting to know on the first date and keep it inexpensive and simple. Then wait a few days before asking her out again. if she's not showing you signs that shes interested and having fun, if she's not invited you somewhere after the third date (and paying (or at the very least offering since she invited) then don't put any more effort into her and let her make some towards you. It's a fine dance that has to be reciprocated by both parties and it's just wasting your time if you're the one who is always reaching out.

Don't contact her again. It's been five months and she told you not to contact her again and you should respect that.

Good luck with your next date.. be sure not to invest too much, (emotionally or financially) too soon, make sure it's being appreciated and reciprocated.

I'll add that if you're on your third date and she's not giving you any hints through body language, eye contact, flirting or outright agression that she wants you to make at least a kissing move on her, then she's just not feeling you i would think. Next!

what about her wanting to go somewhere in her car to eat the ice cream? could that not be a sign that she wanted to maybe fool around?

[Wakeup]

what about her wanting to go somewhere in her car to eat the ice cream? could that not be a sign that she wanted to maybe fool around?

Not necessarily, but it could be. Did you make any advances to your dating only dynamic at all? Like: hold her hand, kiss her lightly on the lips at the end of your date (and play by her lead how far your kissing should go?). As I said I think most woman want to see what sparks there are (if any) by the third date. She'll put the brakes on if she's not ready for anything further than a kiss in which case you respect that and save any further making out until the next get together. if you're both interested then the next get together will indeed take place. If only one of you are, then it won't.

[frank petty]

Not necessarily, but it could be. Did you make any advances to your dating only dynamic at all? Like: hold her hand, kiss her lightly on the lips at the end of your date (and play by her lead how far your kissing should go?). As I said I think most woman want to see what sparks there are (if any) by the third date. She'll put the brakes on if she's not ready for anything further than a kiss in which case you respect that and save any further making out until the next get together. if you're both interested then the next get together will indeed take place. If only one of you are, then it won't.

well after we watched the fireworks when i dropped her off at her car she asked for a hug...and after our offical date that i asked her on we hugged again.....see my problem is that i'm afraid to make a move like kissing cuz i'm afraid the girl might think im just looking to get laid

[Wakeup]

well after we watched the fireworks when i dropped her off at her car she asked for a hug...and after our offical date that i asked her on we hugged again.....see my problem is that i'm afraid to make a move like kissing cuz i'm afraid the girl might think im just looking to get laid

Whoa there, pardner. We're only talking about going in for first kiss here and then playing it by ear... not you kissing her and then jumping on her with your gun in hand. One step at a time, slowly getting to know her a little intimately at a time. You wait too long and she'll think you just want to be her platonic friend. Which may be (but not for certain) why she thought you were'nt all that interested in her.

Forget this one, it's been 5 months. Consider it experience and learn from that experience with the next girl you date.

[Bonfire]

frank, sounds to me you were being too friend like on your dates. She gave you a shot to make a connection and you were just not making her feel there is attraction. That's why she said she wasn't sure if you were into her. And after a few dates, she wasn't interested anymore. You have to escalate on the date, some touching, hold her hand, kiss her good night. Instead of making her feel desired, you might of left her feeling like she just hang out with her brother. So next time, let your body, hands and lips do the talking.

[frank petty]

Whoa there, pardner. We're only talking about going in for first kiss here and then playing it by ear... not you kissing her and then jumping on her with your gun in hand. One step at a time.

i know i know

[oldskool83]

if u dont kiss a girl after the 3rd date your never gonna kiss that girl. man up just do it, thats all they want anyway. you didnt go wrong, she prob doesnt really know what she wants. the fact she asked you to leave her along...sum1 else caught her interest. thats how it goes. next.!

[searock]

I think what you did wrong is asking her to be your "girlfriend" before you even had any physical contact - apart from a couple hugs. I'm betting there was no exciting flirting either, you never even casually touched her hands or arms or hair, right? Obviously she felt you weren't physically attracted to her, there was no chemistry. Next time (with a different girl), be more direct. And don't even mention making it official before you even kissed!

[DonJuanInc]

So I worked with this girl for about a month. We got along fine and had some nice chats.I caught her starung ta mne a ew times She quit though before I could get her number so I contacted her on Facebook, exchanged numbers and we agreed to hang out.

We went to the movies (I paid), went bowling (I paid), went to a movie and got ice cream after and talked in her car. WHile we were in her car she asked when the last time I had a gf was. ---(we ate ate the ice cream in her car. she wanted to go somehwere where we could sit and talk... maybe make out?)

3 days later she texted me saying she didn't feel like I had any interest in her. I explained to her I did. We went to watch fireworks for July 4th and I asked her on a date to dinner. We went to dinner and had a good time. 3 days later we went to a movie, and I asked her to be my girlfriend. She said I think we should just be friends and see what happens.

The next day she texted me saying.. I have had fun with you but I don't wanna hangout with you and please stop texting me.


now i dont know where i went wrong..i guess because i didnt make a move....

where did i go wrong? is it because she was wanting me to make a move?

its been over 5 months...i have been thinking about texting her again

Writings on the wall man.

You acted like her friend. Movies are terrible for first dates because you can't talk, build connection, or flirt, you come out of the movie in the same position you went in. You were isolated with her on a date and she asked you when you last had a girlfriend - the only other thing she could really do here is make the move herself. If a girl is comfortable enough to be alone at your house or suggests going somewhere to be alone, she's interested.

If you weren't sure about whether or not you should've made a move at the time, her text days later saying she didn't feel like you were interested definitely lets you know. You weren't aggressive enough in showing her you're attracted to her.

I'm guessing you didn't make out with her on July 4th at the fireworks or after dinner, so at this point she's probably pissed off at you and frustrated that you claim to be interested but don't act on it. Two dates without making a move is why she doesn't want to date you.

Learn from the experience and move on, don't bother texting her again.

[IndiReloaded]

This^. Sorry but you weren't aggressive enough. For traditional girls, its the guys job to press and the girls job to choose yes/no.