How to move on

[LukasUK]

I'm 18 and after posting recently on the net and having a talk with my mum it seems that the girl I love and adored for the past 3 years and the girl that was my world is slowly slipping away from me.
I have no confidence and can see no reason as to why I'd find anyone else, I found this girl by chance at school. It feels like I'm in a bigger sea and I'm a smaller fish.
I just don't understand how relationships can change. A month ago I was planning to move in with my gf and was engaged, a month later she ignores everything I say and takes no notice of me.
We haven't split up yet, I'm just waiting for it to happen.
Just broke down in tears and was just looking for some advice. What am I supposed to do now?
My world has gone and I've got nothing left so it feels.

[smackie9]

You are 18 and haven't lived life yet.. Planning to be engaged, moving in and later getting married at 18 is insane. You have one stage in life yet to experience before you do all that....adulthood. You need to experience being on your own, dating, partying or socializing, supporting yourself, traveling, and yes freedom. Freedom to do whatever you want, making your own choices, and being responsible for yourself. You definitely need to go through this stage....it prepares you for marriage and it's responsibilities down the road. I tell you marriage is no picnic. It's a lot of hard work and it gets even hard if you don't have life experience to learn from to teach you how to be a good husband, provider, and father. Those are huge responsibilities. Plus an 18 year old's state of mind is way different from a 21 year old's, so your perspective will change. The only reason you are so flattened by the thought of this relationship ending is because you don't know of anything else..you have no clue what is truly out there for you. You can't base your whole life on one person. They should only enhance your life. You need to have a good social network, a life and activities outside your relationship. You need to go talk to her and finalize this so you can grieve, and move on. Trust me you will recover and find happiness....it just takes time.

[confused&single]

First Off, it's normal to feel devastated over your first love. I just recovered from the loss of my first love and i'm 25. We were together for 4 years and had discussed marriage. Here's the thing though, you don't know who you are or what you really even want until at LEAST your mid to late 20s. You are still developing. I know it hurts so much. You probably feel like there is this black hole at your core slowly imploding you and that you'll never feel happiness again. That feeling passes. Give it time and make sure you allow yourself to feel sad when you feel sad and angry when you feel angry. That's normal. If you feel yourself slipping into a depression it's ok and even healthy to go to a therapist. Lots of people do and I can say that I did. It's REALLY helped me to let go and to just talk to a professional about my sadness for the loss of him. She has helped me accept it and begin to move on. Something that I kept telling myself that seemed to help me was this. "I'd guess 90% of the world's population has experienced this kind of loss". This means that it's livable and that you will find happiness and love again. It takes time and lots of healing but it will happen. You'll know when you're ready. You'll never forget your first love unfortunately and they won't forget you, but try to minimize the hurt by ending it quickly. Don't cling. Say what you need to say and ask what you need to ask then stop communicating. It saves you from a lot for embarrassment and helps you keep your dignity. Unfortunately I didn't take that advice and I still feel like i need to fix things between he and i because i let my emotions get the better of me and we've almost been apart for a year. So please take that advice and believe in it. The best thing i did besides start talking to the therapist again was to cut him out completely. It's SO incredibly hard but essential. You can do this. Just be strong. We've all been there.