I am having major love problems, what should I do, what can I do?

[itherrien]

Hello There,

Background:

I need some advice; I have no idea what to do, none whatsoever. I have held great affection for this girl for a long time, I have loved her. At one point we both lived on the same street and I saw her almost every day. I did not know her particularly well, although I liked her. She has a great personality, is pretty, and is extremely intelligent sigh* Anyway, I realized I really felt attractive to her only a few months before they moved.

Some stuff:

So I didn�t see her much anymore (mean I would see her at church and a few other places every now and then, but I didn�t see her that much.) I still held affection for her (This went on for about a year). So the next year after that I had a few good chances, but I couldn�t bring myself to talk to her anymore and I felt like she was becoming more and more a stranger to me. After a few valiant tries I talked to her some more and we weren�t so much strangers anymore. (Another year) So I feel like we are growing farther and farther apart (all this time I never mentioned anything about love, nothing). She would wave to me when I passed her on the street (probably unimportant fact). So we don�t really talk at all now.

The Problems:

I think the main problem is I am scared of what she will say if I asked her. I am also worried about what my parents as well as her parents would say. (You know, good Christian family, would rather you wait until you are out of college. That is at least my families stand point, although not my own) I am not sure about her family, one thing I do know is that her parents got married extremely young (her mom was 17 and her dad was 18 when they were married, not sure when they started dating). I don�t believe her family is as strict as my own.
What happened:
So I stayed at their house yesterday (her brother was a good friend of mine, and still is, although not as much). Seeing her is�well�you know�I think.

So it comes down to what can I do? What should I do?

P.S. I must mention that I have never been distracted from my love for her, never wanted anyone else. I have been completely loyal.
P.P.S. This is ripping my insides apart, not sure if you have had the same feeling before.

Sorry if this is really rough, I can write things much better, but I wrote this on a mobile device.

[Cerby]

Yea. . .If you haven't talked to her about it then that would be your first logical step. Fear of rejection is normal. Get a simple plan to ask her out together, and just do it. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst - pretty much how everything in life goes.

You've loved her for so long as its as easy as a 30 second conversation to determine how she feels back.

[itherrien]

The problem is I am not even sure if I know her?

[Cerby]

The problem is I am not even sure if I know her?

Doesn't matter, you don't need to know someone inside and out to date them. You just need to be attracted to them in some way.

[itherrien]

It is just more complicated than that, but in a way I can not explain.

[Cerby]

It is just more complicated than that, but in a way I can not explain.

Is it complicated because its actually complicated, or because you're making it complicated? Telling someone how you feel about them is one of the most difficult things to do. Giving yourselves reasons not to is all on you, and not on the situation.

[bulrush]

It is just more complicated than that, but in a way I can not explain.

If you can't explain it, then maybe it's mostly hormones. Some people call it "infatuation" or "puppy love".

But if you risk nothing, you gain nothing. So ask her out. If she says "no", that doesn't mean you are a bad person, it just means she's not ready to date you. It also means you should find another girl. But try it. You will kick yourself if you don't at least try.

[oldskool83]

just man up, tell he ryou need 5 mins of her time...it prob wont even take then. you might floor her, she prob will be in shock, but its killing you inside because your here asking for help. you need to get it off your chest, a few simple words is all it would take.

[smackie9]

You did this to yourself. You made yourself so infactuated with her, that you made her untouchable. What you feel for her is a crush, not love. All what you know of her is from your imagination, and not who she really is, and that's wrong.

Even if you go out with her, the situation is too out of balance anyways it is sure to fail. Having feelings for someone way way ahead of them is disaterous.

You are best to give it up, and straighten yourself out. You need to socialize with other girls, build up confidence, and drop the religious guilt or you will go nowhere.