about pity threads

[bigshot82]

pity threads are probably as old as internet itself.... lonely guys complaining why they can't get any... and they are usually offered some canned advice in response, and that's the end of the thread. Issue is rarely brought up anywhere but the internet; since people see opening themselves up as a sign of weakness.

So no big deal, right? just people venting; and they would feel completely different next day when things are going their way.

But when you look more closely around you, in the workplace, around town, etc. there are WAY TOO MANY lonely guys hurting (I am not just talking about fat or socially awkward men; just normal men next door), and caught up in self-destructive cycles, going through their lives hoping "it's gonna be ok" and "you will find someone some day".


I can't help but to think there must be a better answer... this can't be right.

even though pity threads are usually result of some short-term venting, they do point to a much deeper, widespread, and hidden social problem, which for some reason, is not getting enough attention.

any thoughts?

[bcgirl]

you think it's bad in north america? Try going to China where the male population far outweighs the female population and they all have to compete even harder for women's attention. The rich and good looking get married....the poor, well they join the army.

[ChristianonLI]

Blame women. So often they feel they deserve only the very best and shun all the rest. Not to mention they completely dictate when a man is allowed to have sex or receive any sort of affection. They ignore the good, stable but somewhat boring men and gravitate towards the flashy and destructive men who's personalities, by virtue of how they inherently are, clearly show they would never respect or treat properly those women. But women love them anyway.

There is also the issue that men today do not have a set social place. A man needs his place to be confident in himself. Today in America women are entirely equal and to a certain degree no longer "need" men apart from procreation. You take away a man's purpose and he loses confidence. He starts to doubt and question and second guess himself. And women don't like those types either. They want men who act because spontaneous action usually implies confidence.

I'm all for women being equal. I couldn't imagine it any other way. But men are hardwired in their DNA to have women depend on them. And when you take that away you're left with a whole population of lonely men wondering if life will ever get better for them.

[pisces25]

Blame women. So often they feel they deserve only the very best and shun all the rest. Not to mention they completely dictate when a man is allowed to have sex or receive any sort of affection. They ignore the good, stable but somewhat boring men and gravitate towards the flashy and destructive men who's personalities, by virtue of how they inherently are, clearly show they would never respect or treat properly those women. But women love them anyway.

That is a HUGE generalisation and as I woman I resent that sort of attitude. Not all women are like that. If you want to chase the 'hottie', the girl all the guys want and the ones most pleasing on the eye, then perhaps you will come across women like this. But I think you will find actually that most women are looking for a good, stable man, particularly as they get older.

[bcgirl]

But I think you will find actually that most women are looking for a good, stable man, particularly as they get older.

I agree. When your young it's a lot different. A girl will be attracted to the hot football player who is handsome, has muscles and is popular with girls and friends and parties. Just like how a young guy will have wet dreams of the hot bombshell slutty cheerleader. When you become older and have had experiences with relationships, the qualities of an ideal man changes. Like for example, someone who is kind hearted is much more attractive than a man who is "sexy" on the outside but is rude and mean spirited on the inside.

[ChristianonLI]

I'm sorry but I stand by what I said because at the end of the day humans are just another species of animal shaped by tens of millions of years of evolution. Our core way of being is written in our genetic code and a few thousand years of civilization will not change that. Compare us to any other community-oriented species and we act and react the same way to the same stimuli. And all women are preprogrammed to want one kind of man.

[surfhb]

I'm sorry but I stand by what I said because at the end of the day humans are just another species of animal shaped by tens of millions of years of evolution. Our core way of being is written in our genetic code and a few thousand years of civilization will not change that. Compare us to any other community-oriented species and we act and react the same way to the same stimuli. And all women are preprogrammed to want one kind of man.

Then if your generilization is correct (which, like all generalizations, it isn't) how do you explain all the hotties with ugly, boring, cheap guys. I know many myself. You're young..... Your attitude will change.

[ChristianonLI]

I am almost 33 and I have seen nothing to suggest the way I see things is in any way wrong. Women want alpha males and because of how modern American society is now structured there are fewer alpha males than ever thereby leading to the lonely, miserable men as explained by the OP.

[Sonrisa]

not all women want alpha males, i have many girlfriends who are married to a complete opposite what an alpha male would be considered.

[ChristianonLI]

Yes, but are they truly happy with that non-alpha male? Or do they just put up a good show in public because it's the right thing to do and secretly desire what their husband is not?

[Sonrisa]

Yes, but are they truly happy with that non-alpha male? Or do they just put up a good show in public because it's the right thing to do and secretly desire what their husband is not?

ha, do you honestly think that those married to alpha males don't secretly desire anyone else?

[pisces25]

I am almost 33 and I have seen nothing to suggest the way I see things is in any way wrong. Women want alpha males and because of how modern American society is now structured there are fewer alpha males than ever thereby leading to the lonely, miserable men as explained by the OP.

I am a woman and I don't want an alpha male. In fact I despise this type of guy. You are meeting the wrong girls dude. And you also have a deluded sense of what women want. Good luck finding someone with that attitude.

[surfhb]

I am almost 33 and I have seen nothing to suggest the way I see things is in any way wrong. Women want alpha males and because of how modern American society is now structured there are fewer alpha males than ever thereby leading to the lonely, miserable men as explained by the OP.

Im definitely not an "Alpha Male" and im definitely not lonely

[bcgirl]

There is a big difference between how you interpret "alpha male"

If you define being an alpha male as someone who is willing to fight with his hands at any other man who looks at his woman for more than 3 seconds....then I can tell you that the majority of the women find this a turn off.

If you define being an alpha male as someone who is willing to protect his family if an intruder breaks into the house...then this is a turn on.

I think most women would find it a turn off if their husband hides behind his wife while she tries to fight off an intruder to save her family.

A man who carries all the heavy groceries and gives the light bags for the lady = turn on
A man who tells his wife to carry the groceries like "bitch, pick up them bags" = major turn off
A man who holds an umbrella for his girlfriend = turn on
A man who won't step outside because it's raining in fear it will ruin his hair = turn off
A man who compliments his girlfriend on how great she looks = turn on
A man who compliments how hot other women are = turn off

[Gypsybell]

The whole thing is generalized rubbish! To say women only go for the attractive males is just a mirror of the whinger who wants a hot girl and won't give the plainer Jane a second look! There's plenty of the less prestigious people of either sex to fill the deficit in most countries. Adjust your attitude, go earn respect if you want it in return. 'Love' that isn't based on it is not worth having.