feel invisible

[diamondrough]

I feel invisible... here's what happened this week at work: during lunch my co-workers and i were in the breakroom talking. One of my fellow co-workers started talking about how quiet it had been earlier that morning before everyone arrived. I was one of the workers that morning and she looked at one of the guys who also worked that morning and said to him: "wasn't it quiet? it was just you and them two other guys." She didn't even look my way and she forgot about me working and we had even talked that morning. Then during lunch one of my co-workers offered everyone some chips except me! I felt like crying because this happens all the time! No one ever asks me about how my weekend went or no one ever comes to me to just talk. I feel different and i need advice badly.

[smackie9]

Oh gosh that's a sign. They are hinting at you to be more social and interactive.....that you need to put yourself more out there, be more friendly. You need to be the one starting the conversation or offering everyone some chocolate or whatever. Try this.....come in one morning and bring in a box of doughnuts or a box of chocolates and leave it out in an area people will come across it...then when it gets all eaten up say something like "oh good! I see everyone enjoyed the _______ I had brought in".

[smackie9]

If you acknowledge people first with a simple "good morning" or "How is your day going" they will eventually respond to you positively.

[valmont]

a lot of times people misread "shyness" for being an asshole or that you think you are better than them and they will treat you like shit.

[smackie9]

Yes that is true....I see someone at work that is like that...she seems snobbish, she won't even respond to any of my greetings....it's difficult when we have such a social workplace. One of my co-workers said "Good looking girl but she has no personality". So ya impressions like that can be very damaging. I joked about it to her BF who is out going. He was very defensive and said she was very shy, and don't tease her. Someone like that doesn't survive very long if they don't loosen up.

[bulrush]

You have to make the effort to say something first. Say "Good morning" or "Hi". If they talk about something, start with a short comment, not a long story.

[bcgirl]

I'm more introverted than extroverted. It's just my personality. It's tough when you are in a workplace and everyone seems so outgoing and so extroverted. I don't have much to say....but I force myself or try to be as outgoing as they are. I put on a smile and join in on their conversations even though I may totally be not interested in them talking about their subjects. People feel more comfortable when their surrounded by those who are able to smile, laugh, make comments or joke.

[smackie9]

Usually in our workplace if you are too shy we will start playing on it to get you to come out of your shell. Give you a nick name, etc. Hmmmmm come to think of it we all pick on each other lol.

So when that girl made a comment on how quiet it was....there's a possibility she wasn't trying to be mean, but taking a gentle poke at you so you will join into the conversation and be more social, and not to hurt your feelings.

My mom and I just had a conversation the other day about an introvert person in her computer club. This person complained about how awful the club is and how everyone was rude or cold. My mom told her to don't expect people to come right up to you, you have to get out there and introduce yourself. The lady now is in charge of greeting new people, and very involved in the club. Now she is much happier and has a great time.

You really need to stop being so negative, and don't assume everyone doesn't like you and wants nothing to do with you....elementary school is over, this is the adult word and most people don't think that way towards others. But no one is going to hold your hand, you are all grown up now it's up to you to change.

[Noslen09]

I agree with a lot of other posts; just go and greet people first. A simple smile along with "Good morning ________" does wonders for your image. People see you as approachable instead of the shy girl who wants her space all to herself.