Girls don't have mutual interests with me...

[Love'sReject]

..or rather, conversely; I think my parents raised me too well. My standards are way too high, my parents instilled in me the value of not merely settling in any respect, and I grew up with more cultivated taste.

And now I have to live alone forever because I can't enjoy, talk or sit through the drivel that's rampant today. Not to be condescending, but it really is just too damn stupid for me; there's no cerebral nutrient in little indie music/film/shows, since it's all really pretentious, supposedly anti-mainstream ironically-becoming-mainstream crap.

At 21, my last girl experiences maybe the rest of my life was in senior year of high school.

What gives? Mockery of justice, that I, previously with nothing but respect for women and not a trace of misogynistic tendencies or thoughts, have now to settle for a lonely life for eternity.

[ms77]

Sounds like you need to lower the bar and chill out a little bit. Yes, there's a ton of waste-of-time drivel out there (I haven't watched TV or listened to radio in 15 years) BUT what's good for the goose is almost never good for the gander.

A big part of establishing a relationship and loving a person is acceptance and tolerance of what makes us different from each other, including the things we just can't stand (you will find these things in every single person alive just as you will find things you will adore in every single person alive).

You have a great base to probably very good to a woman, but you need to learn to make some compromise. Otherwise, it will certainly be a long road to romantic fulfillment.

[ms77]

Sounds like you need to lower the bar and chill out a little bit. Yes, there's a ton of waste-of-time drivel out there (I haven't watched TV or listened to radio in 15 years) BUT what's good for the goose is almost never good for the gander.

A big part of establishing a relationship and loving a person is acceptance and tolerance of what makes us different from each other, including the things we just can't stand (you will find these things in every single person alive just as you will find things you will adore in every single person alive).

You have a great base to probably very good to a woman, but you need to learn to make some compromise. Otherwise, it will certainly be a long road to romantic fulfillment.

[Love'sReject]

...well, as luck has it, I now can't attract anything or anyone. Now matter if I message first or act with confident and try to be smooth without bordering on creepy.

[ms77]

Stop trying. Stop even thinking about wanting a relationship with a woman. Believe it or not, most communication is radiated; not spoken. The sense of desperation, inadequacy or whatever it is that you feel will bleed into your words and mannerisms; women will recognize this and move away.

Remember that women respond moreso at a mental level and are accutely tuned to a man's self confidence. You sound a bit self-defeating and pessimistic.

I would say start making your own attitude adjustments and work on acceptance, of yourself and others. Do so and all of a sudden, things will start to come together.

A relationship needs lots of fun and freedom to weather the intermittent storms.

[Love'sReject]

Short of some kind of experimental aversion therapy, I don't know how to get my mind off of it. It's everywhere one looks (or tries not to look).

I deserve a good, loving relationship; I was raised with the thought that goodwill and hardwork will yield positive results. Yet...I have merits, so I am not counting on Cupid finding victims.


It's this locale; I can't even find regular friends, because it's all "scene" here and I HATE "scene."

It's analogous to having trouble getting hired for the chronically (undeserving of being) unemployed: One needs job experience to get hired. Jobs aren't hiring for one to get experience. PARADOX!

I appreciate your responses, I would just like to mention.

[HeartIsAching]

..or rather, conversely; I think my parents raised me too well. My standards are way too high, my parents instilled in me the value of not merely settling in any respect, and I grew up with more cultivated taste.

And now I have to live alone forever because I can't enjoy, talk or sit through the drivel that's rampant today. Not to be condescending, but it really is just too damn stupid for me; there's no cerebral nutrient in little indie music/film/shows, since it's all really pretentious, supposedly anti-mainstream ironically-becoming-mainstream crap.

At 21, my last girl experiences maybe the rest of my life was in senior year of high school.

What gives? Mockery of justice, that I, previously with nothing but respect for women and not a trace of misogynistic tendencies or thoughts, have now to settle for a lonely life for eternity.

1st - be patient. You're only 21, you've got a looooong life ahead of you. You're absolutely right (and so were your parents) when you won't "settle". Know what happens when you settle for Mrs. "Right Now"? Mrs. Right comes along. You're also correct in your assessment of pop culture being vapid and superficial with little or no redeeming qualities. A woman who thinks that sort of thing is important isn't a woman at all, but still wanting to be a teenager. Keep looking, they're out there.

2nd - Where you are looking is important. If you're not into the pop culture divas, don't go to the mall. Find an intellectual pursuit that women share that you enjoy. It doesn't have to be super intellectual... I found my wife at the Renaissance Faire, which was basically a small valley full of 3,000 people just as weird as I was.

3rd - and I can't stress this enough: When you find the right one, there will be no doubts in your mind when (if) the time comes to formalize it. If you've got doubts, she's not the one. If you can go into it joyfully, you've got it right.

[stuckies]

Short of some kind of experimental aversion therapy, I don't know how to get my mind off of it. It's everywhere one looks (or tries not to look).

I deserve a good, loving relationship; I was raised with the thought that goodwill and hardwork will yield positive results. Yet...I have merits, so I am not counting on Cupid finding victims.


It's this locale; I can't even find regular friends, because it's all "scene" here and I HATE "scene."

It's analogous to having trouble getting hired for the chronically (undeserving of being) unemployed: One needs job experience to get hired. Jobs aren't hiring for one to get experience. PARADOX!

I appreciate your responses, I would just like to mention.

You're NOT entitled to anything and you're starting to sound pretentious. I for one do not believe in settling and compromising over a partner is one area I don't believe in compromising.

[Love'sReject]

You're NOT entitled to anything and you're starting to sound pretentious. I for one do not believe in settling and compromising over a partner is one area I don't believe in compromising.

I'd say "pretentious" is used by the very same type of person.

Now I didn't specifically state anything about being owed anything; just that it follows that kindliness towards women ought to receive a similar return.

What am I supposed to sya? "Oh, I'm a bad guy and I don't deserve love", and go off and become a grinch? Pfft, no. Think next time.

[bcgirl]

I don't even know you, but from your posts, the negative energy is just seeping out of the monitor screen. I would never want to know a guy like you, someone this negative about life. It's just a BIG FAT TURN OFF.

[vashti]

In your first post, you told us you don't like the indi scene. Fine. What DO you like?

It sounds as if you are so focused on pitying yourself for not liking one small thing that you haven't bothered looking for something else. Maybe you need to cultivate an interest in something else?

[Love'sReject]

I don't even know you, but from your posts, the negative energy is just seeping out of the monitor screen. I would never want to know a guy like you, someone this negative about life. It's just a BIG FAT TURN OFF.

In real life, I exude nothing but positive energy; clearly, as this is a forum, it is easier to present inner thoughts since there's virtually no real risk, aside from maybe getting a bruise on the ol' ego.

Too much optimism is equally as poisonous as too much negativity; if anything, cynicism is the logical result of facing reality, whereas overzealous optimism is for the cowardly.

[Love'sReject]

In your first post, you told us you don't like the indi scene. Fine. What DO you like?

It sounds as if you are so focused on pitying yourself for not liking one small thing that you haven't bothered looking for something else. Maybe you need to cultivate an interest in something else?

The indie "scene" is just a demonstration that I hate modern douchebaggery and all affiliates; I like classics of this and that, in terms of music, literature, etc.

You think modern attractive girls care for things that aren't uber shallow and contemporary? Sadly not, says I empirically.

[stuckies]

I'd say "pretentious" is used by the very same type of person.

Now I didn't specifically state anything about being owed anything; just that it follows that kindliness towards women ought to receive a similar return.

What am I supposed to sya? "Oh, I'm a bad guy and I don't deserve love", and go off and become a grinch? Pfft, no. Think next time.

You're also forgetful. You said you DESERVE a loving relationship. Well welcome to the world of other people, where we can be as nice as we can and still get treated like shit.

Judging by your responces so far you also come off as, entitled, arrogant and trying to be a smart arse. But hey, if you didnt want other peoples opinions, even those of us who are in your eyes unworthy, you shouldnt be posting on a forum. Think about that next time, except you won't, you'll carry on thinking the world should bend to your will.

[stuckies]

The indie "scene" is just a demonstration that I hate modern douchebaggery and all affiliates; I like classics of this and that, in terms of music, literature, etc.

You think modern attractive girls care for things that aren't uber shallow and contemporary? Sadly not, says I empirically.

Congratulations! You've met them all?