Should I give this guy a chance?

[Riko2011]

There's two guys who have hinted that they liked me.

One of them is really sweet. I rejected him indirectly twice and he still stands by me no matter what. He's not as passionate as he used to be but whenever I need help at work, he would always come up to me and help me. I have a feeling that he still likes me. He still texts me and waits for me after work sometimes. He's not really what you call good-looking because he is a little chubby. Even so, you can see that he is kind of "cute"I think that if he decides to slim down, he would actually be pretty popular with girls. The thing is he is a nice guy. He helps everyone when they are in need. When someone says something bad to you, he says something bad back at them. he's not really confident, but confident enough. The thing is we don't click that well. We talk about superficial things, but never go into deep conversations. I've tried to talk to him about life on MSN and it seems that he's a bit immature and always lead to jokes. Even so, he have done a lot for me. He have liked me for more than 2 years I think. I don't see a future with this guy, and I did not fall in love with him these two years when he did all these sweet things to me. I don't know if I should give it a go? A few months ago, I posted the same question on this forum saying I want to reject him. Now I think I have changed my mind a little because he's really sweet. He's the type of guys that I think I would never get hurt if I go out with him.

And then there's this other guy. He's the calm type of guy. He does not show too much emotions that he liked me. But by his previous actions, I can tell that he probably does. For example, when I told him where I worked, he actually came and applied to work at the same place as me. Yes, that doesn't mean anything, but when he knows that the other guy likes me, he quits the job. So I'm thinking that he might have come to the job because of me. He also told me in person before. He's always joking around, so I always took it as a joke. But one time he was really serious and told me that he's not kidding. We click really well and I have fun talking to him. We can talk about anything we want. The bad thing is he's not the type of guy I like. Also, he gets jealous pretty easily. I admit that I like good looking guys. I wanted my first love to be the perfect boyfriend, you know, good looking and nice. I've met this guy that met my requirements. However, he had a girlfriend and I just backed out. I didn't think he even had feelings for me. He's 3 years older than me, so he treated me like a little sister.

The question is....should I go out with any of these guys? I want to at least date one guy before I turn 18. I'm not the best looking girl in the world. I'm probably average. So I don't think that dating a really good looking and NICE guy is even possible for me. I know that if I go out with any one of them I would probably be treated really well, but then I don't see a future with them. My friend once told me that only date a guy if you see yourself marrying him. If you don't see that, you don't like the guy enough. Should I date or should I wait for someone I like? It's so hard to find someone who likes you back and you like them back. :[

P.S. By good looking guys I don't mean they have to be like Zac Efron good looking, what I meant is they are above average or at least the type of guys girls would go for.

[spiggy567]

I would go for the first guy. A guy that is willing to be nice to you and still care about you after rejecting him is probably at least worth a try. The problem a lot of young girls like you is that they tend to go for the confident, kinda douchey guys who are mostly just in it for the physical aspect. They usually friend zone the nice guys, who actually like them for who they are. It's good that you're realizing this at a young age. So he's definatly worth a shot, you really don't have anything to lose.

[alwaystryin]

I agree, first guy. Plus, if you've only ever interacted with him at work (mainly i think? based on what you've said) you can't exactly say that you know enough about him to reject him because another guy is a little cuter, or he doesn't fit the profile of what you 'see' in your head as an acceptable boyfriend. It's not really giving things a chance. As far as marrying anyone? You're 18, and a date is not forever nor should marriage be a factor in getting to know someone at this time. That would severely limit your options by the way.. Just enjoy yourself, I doubt either of them will be the only guy you ever date, and going on a first date doesn't mean you're in a relationship. Why not make plans with him outside of work to just hang out or engage in something you both enjoy just for the sake of fun? Or tell him you'd like to get to know him a little better and see if his conversation doesn't open up in a more relaxed environment? I find chatting hardly counts as actual conversation as it can be somewhat harder to make a personal connection (at least for me). Heck, at your age you could date both of them! Don't be in such a rush to commit yourself.. you'll have plenty of time and options to decide who you are going to marry down the road.

[Mathias]

One of them is really sweet. I rejected him indirectly twice and he still stands by me no matter what. He's not as passionate as he used to be but whenever I need help at work, he would always come up to me and help me. I have a feeling that he still likes me. He still texts me and waits for me after work sometimes. He's not really what you call good-looking because he is a little chubby. Even so, you can see that he is kind of "cute"I think that if he decides to slim down, he would actually be pretty popular with girls. The thing is he is a nice guy. He helps everyone when they are in need. When someone says something bad to you, he says something bad back at them. he's not really confident, but confident enough. The thing is we don't click that well. We talk about superficial things, but never go into deep conversations. I've tried to talk to him about life on MSN and it seems that he's a bit immature and always lead to jokes. Even so, he have done a lot for me. He have liked me for more than 2 years I think. I don't see a future with this guy, and I did not fall in love with him these two years when he did all these sweet things to me. I don't know if I should give it a go? A few months ago, I posted the same question on this forum saying I want to reject him. Now I think I have changed my mind a little because he's really sweet. He's the type of guys that I think I would never get hurt if I go out with him.

Everyone's going to tell you to go for this guy, so let's talk about him a bit more. Are you interested in him romantically at all? Just because you're "supposed" to go for someone doesn't mean you should. If you're not attracted to him at all, and can't be (given your reservations, it seems like this is the case), I wouldn't do it. You do have to make yourself happy too - and it's going to be really hard dating someone that you only view as a friend.

[bcgirl]

why not go out on a date with each of them and see what type of connection you have....go from there

[alwaystryin]

Or don't go out with either of them. Why such pressure to have to date at least one guy before you're 18 when you don't seem crazy about either of them? Do you have to marry someone when your 18? Do you have an expiration date? What happens when you turn 18 that you can't wait until you find someone that really sparks your interest? Plus, it's so not a good idea to assume that a guy who's good looking AND nice is an impossibility. Says who?

[searock]

Are you attracted to any of these two guys? If yes, date the one you are attracted to. If you are attracted to both, go on a date with each of them and then make your decision. If not, there's no problem at all: why would you even date someone you aren't attracted to?

Oh and just to make clear, there is no such thing as a "good-looking guy". There are guys you are attracted to, and guys you aren't attracted to.

[devonbrown]

If you don't like either of these guys, don't go out with either one. If you are not even 18, there is not a rush to jump into anything. You aren't about to shrivel up die or anything. If you don't like someone, don't "settle" and date someone just for the sake of dating someone. At the same time, you are young and there is no need to treat a date as anything so major. Relax, have fun, date lots of people. Just enjoy life. Sometimes it is that simple.

Good luck.

[alwaystryin]

Thanks searock, love that. Perfectly put. I will make it a point to change my dialogue in the future lol

[bulrush]

Go out with the first guy, just so you have some experience dating. The more experience you get, the more confident you will get. You also need to date several guys to know what you really want in life. Your first guy should be a sweet, "average" guy. You don't have to date to get married, just date to have some fun and get experience. Learn about yourself that way. Knowing yourself is critical for finding a lifetime mate.

The second guy getting jealous easily is a big red flag. That is all you are seeing, and his issues are probably much worse, which will come out if you date him.

[Riko2011]

Thanks everyone. I get what you guys mean. Honestly, I don't think I have feelings for the first guy. I'm willing to give him a chance. If he ask, I'll probably tell him yes. As for the second guy, he texted me the other day. We talked about some things and now it's really awkward. We go to the same school, and unfortunately, the same class too. When we do projects together (we usually do it together with another guy) it's really awkward. I can feel it because we don't joke like we use to. We don't talk about things like we used to. I don't know how to break the silence. We used to talk about anything, and now it's just awkward, but not like we are not friends anymore. Anyway to break the silence?