Should I contact him about setting up a date for a date that he canceled?

[confused&single]

I've been talking to a guy that I met through an online dating service for almost two weeks now. We spoke on the phone prior to Thanksgiving for about 45 minutes. He asked at the end of that phone call to get together after the break (so in a week) and I enthusiastically agreed. We've only texted since then. The Sunday before our date we were texting about our Thanksgiving and then he mentioned that he ended up getting a black eye while playing basketball with some friends. I proceeded to ask if that meant he wanted to post pone our date and he said that he'd prefer to do it later in the week to give the swelling some time to go down. He also told me he'd call closer to the date to tell me where and when I should meet him. The evening before our scheduled date I still hadn't heard from him regarding our date (we had been texting about other random things and both of us were being flirtatious)so I text him to ask him if we were still on for tomorrow. Never heard back from him. First thing the next morning he texts me and says so sorry to not respond I've been sick all day yesterday and slept for like 12 hours last night. Needless to say our date that night also got canceled because he was so sick he couldn't even keep water down. He was very apologetic and I said it was completely fine as long as this wasn't an attempt to blow me off. He assured me that it wasn't and that he was really looking forward to meeting me. Well we've texted a few times since then (today is day two since our last date attempt) but he hasn't said anything about rescheduling yet. Then again I did tell him I was working yesterday evening and this evening. So I guess after my long winded explanation, my question is should I bring it up? Should I suggest we get dinner tomorrow evening? Or should I let him bring it up. I've heard that I should let him contact me about it...but I feel like I need to meet this person because we seem to have similar personalities so far. I mean the text would just be something like "hey, what are you doing tomorrow evening? Want to get together for dinner or drinks?" Is that to forward or desperate looking? Thanks!

[smackie9]

Just jokingly say "ok this is your last chance haha" "But no seriously how about we just meet for coffee?" If he doesn't jump at that and gives you more excuses you know he is out dating other women....ditch the guy.

[searock]

I think you should be as straightforward as possible, ask him directly (as you suggested) if he'd like to get together for dinner or drinks. That way you'll let him know exactly what you want, and depending on his reply you will know exactly what he is going to offer.

[smackie9]

Here's a little story: Adam Savage from the show "Myth Busters" During one of the shows, hours before his blind date, he ended up getting his eyebrows singed off from one of their experiments. So here he is smelling like burnt hair, no eyebrows to speak of, he still went on that date. He admitted it was one of the best dates he ever went on.....they are now married and I believe they had twins.

[confused&single]

I agree with you all that this next attempt should be the last attempt. And I also agree that some people would still go on a date even if something embarrassing such as a black eye happened if they were really excited about meeting the person. But in the same breathe, I think I'd want to reschedule if it were me. I'd want to look my best for the first impression so I guess I can't really blame the guy in that regard. I believe the "I was really sick" thing a little less than the black eye thing. But it could have also happened so I guess I just have to give him the benefit of the doubt. I just didn't want to come off as desperate or clingy when I haven't meet this guy yet by suggesting that we get together when he's the one that canceled. In the same breathe though, if he's truly interested i don't think it'll turn him off because its not like I'm sending him a million texts a day (I sent him one yesterday and that's it) and if he isn't then no reply or a no thanks, or I'm busy without suggesting a different date or time is my answer. Alright, well I'll shoot him a text and see what the response is. Gah, why is dating such a pain in the ass!

[stuckies]

people can be a total pain in the ass.

[bcgirl]

I've already explained it in my other post on your other thread that was exactly the same. If you don't believe me that he has a wife or gf then put it to the test. Call him and ask him out on the date (obviously he is taking way too long to make the move and it's wasting your time just wondering). What do you have to lose by asking him out? Do a dinner date or something and plan it for tomorrow or the latest....after tomorrow.....no later than that. If he has some excuses about why he can't do dinner with you in the next couple of days.....he is married. If he says....let's plan for a week or the weekend.....he's married (he'll just have to make some excuse to his wife). If he agrees to have dinner with you tomorrow, but then calls you tomorrow to cancel....he is married. If he agrees for dinner tomorrow, doesn't cancel....then he is single!


I think if a guy really wanted to meet you badly enough he would do it in a heartbeat. I went on a first date with a guy who had to catch a flight at 3AM. He still wouldn't miss getting to know me and buying me dinner at 9PM. Then after dinner, he still wanted to get to know me and brought me out dancing till 2AM. He ended up missing his flight....but no biggy, he'd do it all over again than pass up a day to get to know me before some other guy came in to snatch me up. We're now married.

[Mona_B]

Maybe I am getting old and don't understand :-). Why is it, that people keep texting while they could just talk on the phone??? If someone would cancel a date per text and not talk to me, I would take that as a definite sign that he is not really interested. A black eye doesn't stop you from speaking. But that is just my opinion, maybe talking is out nowadays, LOL.

[bulrush]

Yes, ask him when a good day to date would be.

[Wakeup]

I'd not contact him again unless it was to tell him to contact you when he's got the ballz to actually meet you. Then, If I were you, I'd decide at the time, if he did get those ballz, if I was still interested enough to see who the flake is.

Maybe I am getting old and don't understand :-). Why is it, that people keep texting while they could just talk on the phone??? If someone would cancel a date per text and not talk to me, I would take that as a definite sign that he is not really interested. .

This...

[bcgirl]

Maybe I am getting old and don't understand :-). Why is it, that people keep texting while they could just talk on the phone??? If someone would cancel a date per text and not talk to me, I would take that as a definite sign that he is not really interested. A black eye doesn't stop you from speaking. But that is just my opinion, maybe talking is out nowadays, LOL.

that is also a good point. You said you talked on the phone for a while around thanksgiving. If he has an excuse about a black eye or is sick and doesn't want to meet.....well, he should still have time to talk on the phone with you because he has no other plans.....unless he does have other plans like making love to his wife! Problem with text messages is that you can send a quick, discrete text whenever you wish. Talking on the phone requires you to set some time to sit down and chat without any female background noises.