I 'pull' a lot but cant get into a relationship

[JustNotCricket]

I went to the STD clinic (for a precautionary check up) this week. The nurse asked me "How many women have you slept with in the past 3 Months?" I did a mental count and then realised that I couldnt tell her the real number, so I subtracted a fair few and lied. I havent seen the vast majority of these girls more than once and none more than 3 times. My friends know all about my recent history and think its great, as Im sure most men do, one friend telling me over the weekend that 'I hate you and want your life.' But, I feel miserable and want more than anything to have a gf who I can take out, surprise, care for and generally be a good bf for. Im 26 and want to find someone who I can settle down and have a family with. Though, the reason Im on here was because Im pretty sure If I mentioned to my friends that I hate my life right now, they would think I was joking.

It seems that any girl that I actually really like and view as 'gf material,' doesnt reciprocate. There was a girl that I really liked that had left my apartment by the time I woke up in the morning. Another girl gave me a false phone number. Thats not to say that none of them want to see me again, but its always girls that, whilst I like, I cant really see myself having a future with. Culminated recently when I met a girl, she stayed at mine, we exchanged numbers. She said she was single, everything seemed great until she told me today that she was getting back with her ex. Now, its not that Im devastated over THIS girl in particular. Just how this seems to happen with every girl that I actually start to have feelings for.

Im not even sure what to do about it, or if there is actually anything to do. Im clearly attractive enough to these women; Im good looking, intelligent and have a very good career. I suppose on some level I just want to vent about it, but feel like theres nobody in my circle of friends I can really tell this to without them thinking its a 'non problem.'

[bcgirl]

well the reason why you keep meeting the wrong girl is no coincidence. You are attracted to the wrong girls....the girls that don't want you as a boyfriend but only want to have a one night stand. Perhaps try other means of meeting girls. If you are used to picking up girls at bars....try a different approach. Perhaps online dating? Or better yet, join some hobby that you would enjoy and possibly meet a nice cute girl there.

[mwahahaha]

lol , dont try online dating whatever you do. Ive pumped 3 from the interweb, and every one a fckn wackjob. Youll be lucky to still have your balls in the morning , never mind a gf. Seriosly though, at your age you shouldnt worry about getting a gf, they just make u buy a house and behave like an adult. Crazy beeches. Keep up the random pumping, get yourself a nice little weed habit , and invest in a playstation. Getting fckn jealous just writing this shit. In summary, stop being a fanny.

[bcgirl]

well when you look too hard for a girlfriend you'll never find the right one. It's when you stop looking, the right one will just fall right into your lap.

[HeartIsAching]

First off, it's pretty much a given that a woman that is willing to go home with you on a first date isn't looking for a relationship.

[jen91]

first off, it's pretty much a given that a woman that is willing to go home with you on a first date isn't looking for a relationship.

exactly!!!

[JustNotCricket]

well the reason why you keep meeting the wrong girl is no coincidence. You are attracted to the wrong girls....the girls that don't want you as a boyfriend but only want to have a one night stand. Perhaps try other means of meeting girls. If you are used to picking up girls at bars....try a different approach. Perhaps online dating? Or better yet, join some hobby that you would enjoy and possibly meet a nice cute girl there.

Certainly possible. However, many of the girls I like end up in a relationship shortly afterwards (like the recent girl for example) so I have to conclude its me. But then again, its not like these are all random girls from bars. My friends gf's and fiances set me up with their friends specifically because they think Im good boyfriend material.

I tried online dating a few months back and wasnt keen. Firstly because of the 'filter phenomenom,' and secondly because its way easier to find out how you feel about someone with a 10 minute face to face conversation than it is spending weeks messaging online.

First off, it's pretty much a given that a woman that is willing to go home with you on a first date isn't looking for a relationship.

My friends use the reverse of this, "A girl who is willing to go home with you on the first night isnt the type of girl you want as a girlfriend." Though, like I said, they seem to end up in relationships shortly afterwards.

[pisces25]

My friends use the reverse of this, "A girl who is willing to go home with you on the first night isnt the type of girl you want as a girlfriend." Though, like I said, they seem to end up in relationships shortly afterwards.

They probably end up with dickheads that treat them like crap. Perhaps give the one night stands miss for a while, don't be too easy. Tell them straight up you are after more than sex, try and set up a date for sometime and this may appeal as they would probably meet guys all the time that are just after sex. Otherwise just hang in there. It can take a long time to meet someone on the same page as you. It is all about timing.

[HeartIsAching]

You NEVER know where you'll meet her, and you never know what she'll look like. The love of your life can be a "10" to you even if she isn't objectively.

[MaidenMinx]

I used to have the exact same problem and I'm a chick! I could get a one night stand or a FWB but a relationship... not with anyone I actually wanted to go out with. I decided that sex was the problem and decided to become celibate. It worked like a charm. I'd tell guys very early on I was celibate and half of them bolted the other half found me extremely interesting. I'm now married to someone I met a month or 2 before becoming celibate.

The way I see it, to the type of girl that would want a relationship with you, probably sees you as a bit of a manwhore and finds that unappealing.

Curious, are you taking any stimulants? Apologies if the question offends, most guys I've met that have an iffy track record have been on stimulants.

[Presidenta]

"Certainly possible. However, many of the girls I like end up in a relationship shortly afterwards (like the recent girl for example) so I have to conclude its me." Ever seen " Good luck Chuck " ? hahahaha calm down u'll find your Jessica Alba ;p

[Leona77]

Heart is aching:
''First off, it's pretty much a given that a woman that is willing to go home with you on a first date isn't looking for a relationship. ''

NOT TRUE! But I learned the hard way that men think that of a girl who would sleep with them too soon!

[HeartIsAching]

Heart is aching:
''First off, it's pretty much a given that a woman that is willing to go home with you on a first date isn't looking for a relationship. ''

NOT TRUE! But I learned the hard way that men think that of a girl who would sleep with them too soon!

In my experience it is... and I've had a lot of experience. It may not be true for you, but it generally is - but no generalization is (obviously) entirely true.

[bcgirl]

My friends use the reverse of this, "A girl who is willing to go home with you on the first night isnt the type of girl you want as a girlfriend." Though, like I said, they seem to end up in relationships shortly afterwards.

I'm a girl and would never be anything serious with a guy I slept with on the first date. The guys i've had serious relationships with have been those that we didn't sleep together on the first date, but rather got to know each other on the first date. There is nothing wrong with screwing on a first date, that can be fun and all.....but i keep em as either strictly f*ck buddies or one night stand. They didn't leave me with anything more to the imagination....i wasn't kept on my toes anticipating the next step. When your single (as you may know), you may get lots of "potentials". When I was single, it wasn't out of the blue for me to date "J" on Friday and then go on a date with "K" on a Saturday and call up my f*ck buddy "D" on a Monday (when i'm bored hehe).... this is called testing the waters. Those that put out too quickly, i lost interest in as quickly. Those that left a lot to the imagination, intrigued me and I wanted to get to know more...they ended up to be the keepers.

[Leona77]

I'm a girl and would never be anything serious with a guy I slept with on the first date. The guys i've had serious relationships with have been those that we didn't sleep together on the first date, but rather got to know each other on the first date. There is nothing wrong with screwing on a first date, that can be fun and all.....but i keep em as either strictly f*ck buddies or one night stand. They didn't leave me with anything more to the imagination....i wasn't kept on my toes anticipating the next step. When your single (as you may know), you may get lots of "potentials". When I was single, it wasn't out of the blue for me to date "J" on Friday and then go on a date with "K" on a Saturday and call up my f*ck buddy "D" on a Monday (when i'm bored hehe).... this is called testing the waters. Those that put out too quickly, i lost interest in as quickly. Those that left a lot to the imagination, intrigued me and I wanted to get to know more...they ended up to be the keepers.

hahaha, you sound like a guy! Oh well, good for you. It took me ages to realize that if a guy is willing to scr*w you, he is not necesserily willing to have a relationship with you. Actually, he is most likely NOT to want to have a relationship with you! My problem was that I had to like somebody as a person and see him as 'relationship material' to be able to sleep with him.I guess this is due to upbringing and what we are taught as kids. But luckily I learned the difference and how to separate the two in a guy! Better late then never!